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Female, 23.
topazoak
posted on Jan 09, 2009
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C, I haven't heard from you since you phoned me in August to tell me that you found your mom dead in her bed that morning. It was a shock and I can't imagine what that was like for you. You've never clutched that tightly to reality anyway and I know you... read entire post
topazoak
posted on Jan 07, 2009
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Our anniversary and I'm so happy. The past year was so bumpy (mostly because of me!) and I was so blind and hurting and broken...it took so long to let you in. But I know without a doubt now that you are the person that was created for me, and I'm the pe... read entire post
topazoak
posted on Jan 07, 2009
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Dear Friend, This has been the longest year of my life and I am so relieved to see the end of it. After my Dad died in June I thought the second half of 2008 had to be better thn the first. As it turned out, it was only improved by the consistency ... read entire post
topazoak
posted on Oct 30, 2008
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How can I move on when I'm still in love with you? I didn't think it was possible, but here I am. And my heart is better than ever. It's weird, when I look at pictures or anything of X... I love you, M.... read entire post
topazoak
posted on Jul 14, 2008
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I hate the way you love me. Worse, I hate the way I love you.... read entire post
topazoak
posted on Jul 12, 2008
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I was surprised to see you there last night. It was the most vivid dream I have had in a long time and I felt the effects this morning. Despite 7 hours of sleep I awoke feeling so tired and my eyes were puffy like I had been crying for days. You we... read entire post
topazoak
posted on Mar 17, 2008
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Goodbye to you has been much, much longer than it should have been. Interesting phrase, 'should have'...maybe there's not really a rule book on this. You know I started seeing someone new around Christmas. He was lovely...and he loves me. He did so many... read entire post
topazoak
posted on Dec 16, 2007
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Had a ball last night...it was actually really good. Fun to get dressed up sometimes. I broke off the date I was supposed to have with M today. I know it was the right thing to do, but I feel terrible. However, how he reacted has made me like him so muc... read entire post
topazoak
posted on Dec 14, 2007
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I hear so many women talk about empowerment...particularly when referring to sex. It's like this outright denial of emotion...yes! We can have sex with anyone and not feel anything. We can be as emotionally detached as all the men and just get our kicks... read entire post
topazoak
posted on Dec 12, 2007
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So...my dissertation needs to be done in two days. And what am I doing? Blogging, of course. :)Had my birthday this week...I'm now 22. Don't know if that's exciting or depressing. It was also the night of our staff party for work...interesting. lol... read entire post
topazoak
posted on Dec 07, 2007
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Two weeks ago, on a Saturday night at the restaurant...a chef was speaking to me and another server about his car accident that had happened on the Thursday prior. It was a really bad accident, and he was describing the incident. In the middle of it, my... read entire post
topazoak
posted on Dec 06, 2007
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I'm refusing to cry anymore, but it would be a lovely relief of tension. We're not speaking, but it cuts me up thinking that it doesn't bother you.... read entire post
topazoak
posted on Nov 28, 2007
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Oh, ew. Just discovered an ENORMOUS mushroom growing in the hall...the carpeted hall! Evidence, I say! Evidence! This flat is disgusting...and if an actual mushroom can grow up through the carpet...what kind of mold and fungus is lurking in the walls?... read entire post
topazoak
posted on Nov 27, 2007
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I'm shaking. I feel so sick, I just want to disappear into my bed for a month. I let myself get sucked back in. We were having an amazing time for about 2 1/2 weeks. Then you were suddenly out of a job, unexpectedly, and you cut and run.... read entire post