topazoak's blog
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Female, 22.
topazoak
posted on Oct 30, 2008
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How can I move on when I'm still in love with you? I didn't think it was possible, but here I am. And my heart is better than ever. It's weird, when I look at pictures or anything of X... I love you, M.... read entire post
topazoak
posted on Jul 14, 2008
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I hate the way you love me. Worse, I hate the way I love you.... read entire post
topazoak
posted on Jul 12, 2008
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I was surprised to see you there last night. It was the most vivid dream I have had in a long time and I felt the effects this morning. Despite 7 hours of sleep I awoke feeling so tired and my eyes were puffy like I had been crying for days. You we... read entire post
topazoak
posted on Mar 17, 2008
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Goodbye to you has been much, much longer than it should have been. Interesting phrase, 'should have'...maybe there's not really a rule book on this. You know I started seeing someone new around Christmas. He was lovely...and he loves me. He did so many... read entire post
topazoak
posted on Dec 16, 2007
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Had a ball last night...it was actually really good. Fun to get dressed up sometimes. I broke off the date I was supposed to have with M today. I know it was the right thing to do, but I feel terrible. However, how he reacted has made me like him so muc... read entire post
topazoak
posted on Dec 14, 2007
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I hear so many women talk about empowerment...particularly when referring to sex. It's like this outright denial of emotion...yes! We can have sex with anyone and not feel anything. We can be as emotionally detached as all the men and just get our kicks... read entire post
topazoak
posted on Dec 12, 2007
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So...my dissertation needs to be done in two days. And what am I doing? Blogging, of course. :)Had my birthday this week...I'm now 22. Don't know if that's exciting or depressing. It was also the night of our staff party for work...interesting. lol... read entire post
topazoak
posted on Dec 07, 2007
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Two weeks ago, on a Saturday night at the restaurant...a chef was speaking to me and another server about his car accident that had happened on the Thursday prior. It was a really bad accident, and he was describing the incident. In the middle of it, my... read entire post
topazoak
posted on Dec 06, 2007
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I'm refusing to cry anymore, but it would be a lovely relief of tension. We're not speaking, but it cuts me up thinking that it doesn't bother you.... read entire post
topazoak
posted on Nov 28, 2007
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Oh, ew. Just discovered an ENORMOUS mushroom growing in the hall...the carpeted hall! Evidence, I say! Evidence! This flat is disgusting...and if an actual mushroom can grow up through the carpet...what kind of mold and fungus is lurking in the walls?... read entire post
topazoak
posted on Nov 27, 2007
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I'm shaking. I feel so sick, I just want to disappear into my bed for a month. I let myself get sucked back in. We were having an amazing time for about 2 1/2 weeks. Then you were suddenly out of a job, unexpectedly, and you cut and run.... read entire post
topazoak
posted on Nov 05, 2007
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I was weak and did tell you about my delicate situation. You didn't care. You wouldn't meet me to talk in person when I needed you. I had to tell you on the phone. You said nothing at all.... read entire post
topazoak
posted on Nov 03, 2007
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This morning I awoke just before 6. No reason. 30 seconds later I heard my phone jingle. You texted me, "Are you still awake? I need you." I was more than a little shocked. My first reaction was that you were in trouble or something. I texted you back...... read entire post
topazoak
posted on Nov 02, 2007
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Today, well, I suppose now that it's 12:30AM here...yesterday...would have been our anniversary. And in just a few short hours it will be exactly three weeks since you told me you weren't in love with me. I'm sad, but not distraught. So all considered,... read entire post