tjbananas's blog
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Living out loud the best I can.
tjbananas
posted on Jun 15, 2007
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I came to this site as a place to release my emotions into the universe, never knowing if anyone would bother to read them. I certainly never expected to find a community here. I was just reading about favorite SStreet characters. (Oscar) and I see that... read entire post
tjbananas
posted on Jun 02, 2007
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Nothing changes. Nothing changes except these feelings return to me again. The thoughts I have put away so many times. And now today I have to put it away again.... read entire post
tjbananas
posted on Jun 01, 2007
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I couldn't believe it. I spoke with her for about 30 minutes. My Rookie; she was beautiful, fresh, sweet, funny, herself. I love her. She still loves me. But she will not leave her husband. He will not leave her. They will remain in a loveless, and mostl... read entire post
tjbananas
posted on Jun 01, 2007
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Whenever I see anythin that reminds me of her, my first thought is "I hate you" but I can still feel her kiss. I can still smell her. I can still taste her. I can still see her smile, hear her voice, feel her touch. There are days that I ache for her. Sh... read entire post
tjbananas
posted on May 29, 2007
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I wake up this morning at 5am only to remember how upset I am with my two oldest children. They are with me this week. They live between their father and I. For the most part it works. The main problem since the divorse is I'm gay, their father is/was an... read entire post
tjbananas
posted on May 21, 2007
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this is interesting. i'm buzzed. i'm alone. so i send me thoughts out to a world that doesn't know me, hoping that it will somehow make me feel connected. i am adrift. i am alone. i am tired. i am afraid. i am lonely. i want connection. i want meaning.... read entire post
tjbananas
posted on May 21, 2007
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So in the process of grieving; whether it be a death, a divorce, a lost love. There are stages, so I have been told. When the affair I was having ended, I know I was in the denial stage. Thinking that it was going to work out for her and I. I was always... read entire post
tjbananas
posted on May 20, 2007
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so there is this girl. No, a different girl. She lives in Portand. We used to date. I still like her. I think she knows that, but we pretend that I don't. She has a gentle, tender heart that has be seriously wounded. I think I like that in her.... read entire post
tjbananas
posted on May 17, 2007
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So that is about it tonight.There's this girl. Don't all good stories start that way.
She lives here in Bend. We've mada out a few times. She says she is attracted to me. But this girls she has be coresponding with is coming for the weekend. ... read entire post
tjbananas
posted on May 13, 2007
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So today I am 40. Hmm. Not sure what to make of it quite yet. I woke up around 8am and debated taking a shower, making coffee or just staying in bed. I opted for coffee. It's beautiful here today. It's warm, the birds are building nests, I'm... read entire post
tjbananas
posted on May 12, 2007
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My daughter turned 11 today. We had a sleep over last night in the back yard. Trampoline jumping until 1am. The phone rang at 8 this morning to wake me up. I need to get one of the girls ready to go. Before heading out into the cold back yard, I go pee.... read entire post
tjbananas
posted on May 12, 2007
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In a moment, so much can be revealed.... read entire post
tjbananas
posted on May 12, 2007
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I wrote this at the begging of the year. Trying to make sense of what I have been through.... read entire post
tjbananas
posted on May 12, 2007
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This is how I left my bio-mother.... read entire post