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thegayfuckup's blog - subscribe A 27 year old Aussie guy with a host of issues including drug addictions, fighting depression and so much more...am I really a fuck up, you decide?

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It has been nine days since I posted anything, getting slack I am!

Anyway, my last post was about insomnia, and my suffering thereof. Well it has been 9 days since I began a nightly ritual of going for a walk/jog around the......
It has been nine days since I posted anything, geez the days go quick now.

Anyway, my last post was about insomnia, and my suffering thereof. Well it has been 9 days since I began a nightly ritual of going for a walk/jog around the......
I'm sure you all have battled insomnia at some time or another and know how frustrating and exhausting it is to be sleep deprived. The past couple of weeks I've only been able to maintain 3-4 hours sleep per night, and that's on a good night too....
Having been involved in some form or other of Spiritualism since the young age of 14, I know I've experienced way too much paranormal occurrences for it to not be real, some of these times were very frightening, sometimes funny but always creepy....
As this fuck up woke just now on this Sunday morning, he discovered that ALL of his coir pot sown poppies (100+) had been desecrated by a certain uncles dog, who spent the night....
After two and a bit years, my partner is desperate to rent a house with me. I'm living with a family member and he lives with his parents. This is hard as he's never lived out of home and I've been living out of home at 16....
The opium poppies growing in a certain fuck-up's yard are doing both good and bad as the recent weather is not being nice to them at all. The goddamn Spring winds have so far destroyed ten of my largest and wintered poppies......
On the 9th August, 2008 my best friend in the world had his life support machine switched off at 24 years and 11 months old....
Last night I fell asleep thinking of my recently deceased cousin and best friend, God bless his soul. In the dream I was laying in my bed thinking about things, as I do, when suddenly he was sitting on the side of the bed, just smiling at me....
Yay I started a Landscaping job today! Late last night I received a phone call from a good buddy of mine and was offered the casual landscaping job with his mate, which I eagerly accepted as I just love gardening......
I feel like people don't really 'know' me, the true me, the voice of the thoughts in my mind. Do you get that feeling?...
I am a man who has not felt happy for many years of my life without an opiate in my system...my boyfriend assures me that it is abnormal to be physically dependent on any drug. Fuck I've got a Lexapro addiction and a Suboxone addiction...

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