[read part one first if you haven't]
So this is the second part of
our Thanksgiving story, and it’s a little bit tamer than the first. After we
left the crazy place, we stopped by our house to pick up the pies Nat made. And
then we set off to my parents house. We were a little earlier than we planned
(because we escaped before the clock ran out) but that was okay. Basically, you
can just show up whenever as long you’re not late. My mom likes punctuality and
gets a little irritated if people make her wait.
We got there before Jack and his family did, but my grandparents were already there. I haven’t seen them in awhile so it was nice to visit with them. But my mom’s parents are a lot different than the rest of us. They’re really conservative and they pretty much think my dad is an overgrown hippie who tainted their beautiful church going daughter all those years ago. Not true, of course. But it’s amazing the things they’ll hold onto for a million years. They don’t really approve of the way we were raised or the easy going relationship Jack and I have with our parents. But I love them anyway because they’re my grandparents.
Nat had never met them before, so I was a little nervous about the impression they were all going to make on each other. Natty is not fond of skirts and dressing up, so she wore pants and a nice zip up sweater jacket. I thought she looked great. I was wearing jeans and the now infamous orgasm inducing sweater, so we kind of matched. But I could tell right away that my grandmother was expecting something else. And so did Nat. I’ve told her such wonderful stories about my other grandparents and how cool they were, so I know she was thinking my mom’s parents would be the same.
Comments were made about how casual we were, and did we bring other clothes to wear? Nope. We did not. At this point, I felt horrible because I know Nat’s feelings were hurt as they should have been. I was embarrassed by this and I just tried to make a joke about it instead. I told my grandma that this wasn’t 1950 and women didn’t have to wear skirts anymore. She sighed and said she realized that, but was it really so terrible to dress up once in awhile? And she certainly hoped that we were going to be wearing proper clothes at our wedding and not show up in jeans. *sigh*
At this point, I steered us away from my stuffy grandparents, and went in search of my mom and dad instead. They were hiding in the kitchen. My dad was drinking beer and my mom was asking him why he wouldn’t just put a sweater on instead of the t-shirt he had. Apparently clothing was a big problem for the day. But the t-shirt had a turkey on it and he said it was festive. He looked like a big nerd actually, but that’s my dad for you. And he’s stubborn too, so he refused to change his clothes to satisfy the in-laws. We have that in common.
My mom was very happy to see us and hugs were exchanged, along with compliments about the pies. My mom and Nat get along really well and they’ve had lunch together a few times, so I wasn’t worried when my mom spirited her away from me and told me and my dad to get lost. We had a choice of going back out into the living room with my grandparents, or sneaking outside in the backyard to pretend to water plants. We chose the latter.
We talked for awhile about some stuff and it was actually really nice to spend that time alone with my dad. I talk to him all the time on the phone, but usually we’re talking about work and not life. But then we were interrupted when Prince Jack showed up. He walked outside and suddenly our conversation was forgotten. But that’s okay. It was actually good to see Jack too because even though we live pretty close to each other, we don’t actually see each other often enough.
My dad eventually went back inside and we stayed in the yard. And as soon as my dad disappeared, Jack lit up his cigarette. It’s not really a secret that he smokes and both of my parents used to smoke too. But they quit and they of course wanted their kids to quit too. So Jack tries to be sneaky and he made us go behind a bush so Mom couldn’t see him out the window. But I used to smoke too sometimes and every once in awhile it’s tempting to want one. I’ve decided that there are two kinds of ex-smokers. The ones who detest all things smoke related and start coughing if someone lights up within a five mile radius. And then there are those who are constantly tempted to join the evil pastime once again. I guess I’m the latter because I asked for one. I mean, after the Thanksgiving at Nat’s house, and my grandparents hating our clothes, I was ready for a little relaxation.
Of course, as soon as I caved into temptation, my grandmother walked out and went looking for us. We were caught red handed like two teenagers hiding behind the gym locker room at school. Busted. Grandma was pissed and she told us we were going to die. Jack told her we were all going to die, so we might as well live it up. But she snatched the cigarettes out of our hands and grumbled something about our parents setting a bad example for us. And she told us to come inside.
So we did because we had no choice. And I guess we were being a little rude by hiding in the backyard instead of visiting. So we did our duty. And it wasn’t half bad. Nat seemed to be happy that Melanie was there and Harper enjoyed being the center of attention. And once dinner was ready, I realized I was starving to death. That pumpkin soup and a handful of carrots I’d eaten, didn’t really sustain me very long. So I totally chowed down and ate way too much. Is there anyone who doesn’t eat too much at Thanksgiving?
My grandparents lightened up once they had some wine in them. They’re much more relaxed and fun that way. And at that point, it’s acceptable to make fun of them for their stuffiness and they won’t get mad. I think it’s because they know it’s a losing battle to try and change us because they’re outnumbered. And I think they love the way we are, but they just won’t admit it. Even if they did get on Jack’s case repeatedly to get a haircut. I can already tell you that’s never gonna happen, but yet, they try.
When it was pie time, Natalie was hoping everyone would like her creations. I knew they would though. And when my mom was getting ready to cut the first piece, Jack said for her not to be skimpy because he wanted a big ass piece. My mom just looked at him, moved the knife over, and asked, “is this big assy enough?” Who could help but laugh over that? Especially when Harper jumped up and said, “I want a big ass piece too!” Needless to say, if my grandparents were not filled with wine, this might have killed them. My grandmother just covered her ears, but I saw Grandpa trying not to laugh. See? They’re not really as bad they seem at first.
And then came the portion of the evening where we give out the Big Turkey awards. Jack mentioned this in one of his posts, but basically we all tell stories about who did the most embarrassing and/or stupid thing this year. And the winner gets a Christmas ornament that my mom makes that says Turkey of the Year and then the date. It’s just a silly little family tradition that we’ve always done.
My father won the award this year. We were all very proud. And he got the award for smacking a ladies ass at the Farmers Market because he thought it was my mom. She went looking for something, and he was busy perusing tomatoes. But when he went to find her, he came up behind some other woman who looked like her and smacked her ass. When she turned around, it was quite a shocker and my dad said he thought he was going to get arrested. Even my grandparents were dying of laughter over that one. My poor dad. And it was even better because my mom said she watched him do it. She was standing across the way, assuming he saw her and was going to come over. And then all of sudden, whack! He spanked the wrong ass.
I love my parents though because they still have such fun together even after all these years. I want to be like that too. I want what they have. And I think that’s exactly what I’ve found.
-evil_twin LA
