• uniquely-ironic said on Nov 23, 2007....

  1) Do you actually enjoy spending time with your family and/or in laws? No, I'd rather have surgery, but luckily I'm an adult now and can tell them that I won't be spending time with them.

   

  2) Have you ever faked other plans or an illness just to get out of visiting them? No, that just leads to more lies and I can't remember everything I say, so I'd rather just tell the truth and get the yelling over with.

   

  3) Have you ever dumped a relationship because you hated the other persons family? No, but I have made it clear that I will only attend mandatory functions.

   

  4) Would you rather have an incredibly boring family get together or one filled with drama? Drama, it's edgy and not boring.

   

  5) Are there people you only see at the holidays? And is the reason for this logistics or that you can't stand them? You say logistics, I sat sanity.  There are people I would see more often if it were possible to do so and still keep my sanity, but I'm realistic that way.

   

  6) Do you shop the day after Thanksgiving or would you rather die? Death, give me death!  In fact I would rather buy everything online, but there is no real way to see how clothes will fit that way.

   

• evil_twin said on Nov 23, 2007....

  1) Do you actually enjoy spending time with your family and/or in laws?
  Yes, I actually do. The in law thing was definitely a new experience this year, but I survived it! It was amusing, at least. And everyone loved me so I guess that made it better. They just all couldn't stand each other...
  
  
  2) Have you ever faked other plans or an illness just to get out of visiting them?
  Uh, actually, I have faked an illness to get out of visiting family. But it's not really because I dislike them, because you know I love Mom and Dad. But there are just times when I'm not in the mood to socialize at all, and would rather not have to fake cheerfulness in front of the 'rents.
  
  
  3) Have you ever dumped a relationship because you hated the other persons family?
  No...but I detested my ex's family. The feeling was quite mutual too. It was like oil and water and a keg of dynamite. Not good. I can handle quirky in laws, but not mean and pretentious ones.
  
  
  4) Would you rather have an incredibly boring family get together or one filled with drama?
  I personally like the drama. Boring is boring. I like it when things get shook up a bit. Like Christmas Eve 1997. Remember that one?!
   
  5) Are there people you only see at the holidays? And is the reason for this logistics or that you can't stand them?
  Logistics, mostly. But there are reasons why I don't go out of my way to visit them at other times of the year too.
  
  6) Do you shop the day after Thanksgiving or would you rather die?
  I would rather die. I'm not a big shopper so I'd prefer not to get in the traffic mess or look for parking or wait in long lines. I'm with Uniquely. I'll do most of my shopping online and wait until the crowds die down a little before attempting to go to a store.
  

• silverwhisper said on Nov 23, 2007....

  1. yes, i really do. my in-laws have made me feel so welcome from the very first time i came to visit them. they're genuinely warm, kind people and while i have my issues with them, i can honestly say that i do love them. my family makes me a bit crazy but it's generally OK, and i know that my wife genuinely likes them, too. that makes me really happy, i'll confess.
  
  2. nope, although i did send my wife on to mother's day at my parents' place b/c i got food poisoning or something. my mother can be intimidating so that was pretty brave of her!
  
  3. no, but then again, my romantic history is pretty short. it's complicated but that's owing to the few people on it more than anything else. :>
  
  4. i think both extremes would suck, frankly. :>
  
  5. yes, including the crazy uncle who goes on the weirdest, lunatic fringe rants now & again. and no, he usually doesn't even have anything to drink!
  
  6. i regret that i have only one death to die to avoid black friday. :D
  
  ed

• nursecutie said on Nov 23, 2007....

  1) Do you actually enjoy spending time with your family and/or in laws?
  I do sometimes enjoy my family.......but usually when it is just me and one of them together. I HATE the big family gatherings b/c it is a recipe for disaster!!! I love my new soon to be in laws though! :)
   
  2) Have you ever faked other plans or an illness just to get out of visiting them? Yes.......I have done this before in the past b/c I just didn't want to deal with the annoyance. Two Thanksgivings ago I purposely signed up to work at the hospital b/c I didn't want to go. And then I told my parents they forced me to work and I could not get out of it!
   
  3) Have you ever dumped a relationship because you hated the other persons family? No.....I never really had another relationship that was serious enough I really spent time w/their families :(
   
  4) Would you rather have an incredibly boring family get together or one filled with drama? I would like it to be a little bit boring.....but not coma inducing!
   
  5) Are there people you only see at the holidays? And is the reason for this logistics or that you can't stand them? My grandparents sometimes fly out for Christmas and that is the only time I see them. That is ok by me b/c I don't know them very much, but I don't really hate them or anything.
   
  6) Do you shop the day after Thanksgiving or would you rather die? I don't usually shop on this day b/c it's too crowded!! I have done it though......it's exciting sometimes to be part of the rush, but I think I will sit it out this year!

• buckrogers said on Nov 23, 2007....

  I always look to the holiday season with a certain amount of dread, and I sometimes think it's silly to spend couple of days a year stuffing yourself with food while watching others do the same.  Then there are those that like to take pictures of people stuffing themselves with food. 

  I can't eat as much as I used to; I certainly don't like to look at myself in photographs, falling apart...and I've often thought that I'd like to be by myself over the holidays in a nice quiet place like Antartica.   

• botoni said on Nov 23, 2007....

  I really love spending time with my family holidays or not.
  Yes, I ve faked a couple times but usually for very good cause.
  Never dumped a relationship because of my mates' family but I can see where it would be tempting at times.
  I ll go for the drama at full volumn if you please. Just as long as I m not the cause.
  Our family has a tradition of including our periferal friends in family gatherings so there are 'extended' family members who I only see at big gatherings.
  Fortunately we dont have Black Friday in Canada but it parallels to Boxing Day sales. My daughters and I used to go wild at them but now I just stuff their wallets and turn them loose while I baby sit. We all win that way.

• gingersoul said on Nov 23, 2007....

  1) Do you actually enjoy spending time with your family and/or in laws?
  Overall, yes. I used to have a big family when i was married. It was a rather disfunctional family but there have been times in which everything was just perfect......when i go to Italy to visit my family we are so few now....so i cherish even more them and my time with them...but its not alwasy been in this way.... 
   
  2) Have you ever faked other plans or an illness just to get out of visiting them?
  Yes, i did it...not always my mood and the family committments were alligned...i prefer to avoid somebody than being grumpy around them....
   
  3) Have you ever dumped a relationship because you hated the other persons family?
  Just a silly question...no....
   
  4) Would you rather have an incredibly boring family get together or one filled with drama?
  Drama., drama.... drama....lol....
   
  5) Are there people you only see at the holidays? And is the reason for this logistics or that you can't stand them?
  Well, my ex husband's family lived at  3 hours and hald of driving...we were both working so, yes, holidays were the main occasions to visit them....i can see my Italian family only if i fly over there.....
   

  6) Do you shop the day after Thanksgiving or would you rather die?

  I would rather die, thanks.......my ex sister-in-law has been trying for years to convince me to go with her....no way....

  Naturally, we dont have this madness in Italy so the first Thanksgiving i spent here i had no idea of what this Black Friday was meaning...i figured it out soon and learned to avoid it as the plague.....:-0....

• Mr_Box said on Nov 23, 2007....

  Time to answer my own questions.
   
  1) Do you actually enjoy spending time with your family and/or in laws?
  Yes, I do. My in laws are not as fun as my family, but I get along with everyone.
   
  2) Have you ever faked other plans or an illness just to get out of visiting them?
  Yep. A few times. Mostly to get out of having lunch with my father in law. Not that I don't like him, but we have nothing in common. It makes it awkward to be alone with him.
   
  3) Have you ever dumped a relationship because you hated the other persons family?
  No, but then again, I've only had one relationship.
   
  4) Would you rather have an incredibly boring family get together or one filled with drama?
  I enjoy the drama quite a lot. And if there isn't enough of it, I'll create some.
   
  5) Are there people you only see at the holidays? And is the reason for this logistics or that you can't stand them?
  I only see my grandparents at holiday times. But it's because that's the only time they visit. I could make time to see them more often, but a phone call usually works good enough. Love them in small doses.
   

  6) Do you shop the day after Thanksgiving or would you rather die?

  I used to be forced to tag along with my wife at the crack of dawn so we could be at Toys R Us. Not anymore. If she wants to shop, I let her shop. But I'm staying home.

• Mr_Box said on Nov 23, 2007....

  Thank you all for responding.

  I think it's cool that most people seem to enjoy a little drama with their holiday celebrations. Life is so boring without it.

  And no one wants to go shopping. I don't blame you guys. I think it's crazy.

  Kyle, yes, I remember that Christmas Eve well. I'm surprised you do since you were barely coherent. That's what happens when you steal the 'special' eggnog.

  Gingery.....you thought question 3 was silly.....but a lot of people stress that their families bullshit will cause their S/O to want to jump ship.

  That's a big fear. But apparently it hasn't stopped anyone yet who commented. So it's an unwarranted fear, yes?

   

• the_infernal_optimist said on Nov 23, 2007....

  1) Do you actually enjoy spending time with your family and/or in laws?
  
  Yes, I do. My in-laws are very nice (and there's really only MIL and FIL to deal with, as DH is an only child), and despite all of my family's drama and past crap, I love them and like to spend time with them.
  
   
  2) Have you ever faked other plans or an illness just to get out of visiting them?
  
  No...but it's interesting that you said that (my next post will reveal why). I have a hard time understanding that unless your family is a real disaster, although I definitely understand not telling them "I think you suck" instead.
  
   
  3) Have you ever dumped a relationship because you hated the other persons family?
  
  No - although I'm coming to realize that it's a bigger and more important issue to consider than I would've imagined a few years back.
  
   
  4) Would you rather have an incredibly boring family get together or one filled with drama?
  
  Skip the drama, thanks - I can liven up a gathering myself if I need to, but I can't singlehandedly quiet down an explosion in progress, you know?
  
   
  5) Are there people you only see at the holidays? And is the reason for this logistics or that you can't stand them?
  
  
  Yes, and it's primarily a case of logistics. My dad's family lives all over the state (and in VA and AZ) so we don't see everybody except at Thanksgiving and/or Christmas, and even then a few people might miss the gathering (it's a big family). 
   
  6) Do you shop the day after Thanksgiving or would you rather die?
  
  I don't know that I'd like to keel over instead of braving the crowds, but I definitely try to stay home. We need groceries, but I sure as hell wasn't going to try to get them today.
  
  ~Infernal
  

• Eilan said on Nov 23, 2007....

  1. I don't mind spending time with my in-laws.
  
  2. No, but I won't say it's never crossed my mind.
  
  3. No, but I did have issues with my former in-laws.
  
  4. I'm all about the drama.
  
  5. Lately, I haven't even seen my dad's side of the family on holidays.  I don't feel that I'm missing out on anything.
  
  6. Death is a bit extreme, I think.  I did go out today, but only because one of my children needed to turn in some library books.  The library was pretty empty because people were out shopping.
  

• crybabylu said on Nov 23, 2007....

  1)  yes
  2)  no
  3)  no, but I oftentimes thought I should have.
  4)  i would take boring over drama anytime.
  5)  yes, we all live busy lives.
  6)  no, I always wait till a week before Christmas, and look for bargains.

• polarheart said on Nov 23, 2007....

  I cannot stand to be made to spend time with people I dont like / dont have anything in common with!  Does that make me a bad person? 
   
  That's partly what grates me about this whole time of year. . .the severe fakeness of it all.  (I know it is not fake for everybody. . .lucky them)
   
  I love to spend time with my family (2 brothers & 1 sister and their families) at the drop of a hat. . .any time of year.  Some of my in-laws are fine, but others are just not my cup of tea.
   
  I also hate the idea of buying presents for people I dont really know. . .giving and receiving gifts like that seem so empty.  I would rather not give or receive anything when there is no heart in the matter.
   
  I cant stand prepacked gifts that can be purchased last minute. . .how plastic is that!!  Honestly, it makes me want to vomit.
   
  Sorry, but that's just me.  The only thing I do like is the big sales at the end of the year :-))

• pookiedookie said on Nov 24, 2007....

  1  I do the family thing.

  2. I never faked plans, but I make sure I have them if I decide I don't want to do the family thing.

  3. Sure have!  I'm sorry, but there are some families I don't want to be apart of.

  4.  Give me boring anytime.

  5.  Yeah, there are some, but that's because if you can't keep up all year, then make up on holidays.

  6.  I don't do Christmas.   Not at all.

• hotaka said on Nov 24, 2007....

  1) I grew up in a family where family time during holidays was very important. Now that I am far away from everyone I do most certainly enjoy the time I can spend at home.
  
  2) I only faked plans once because the Neurotic Bitch I was with forbade me to see my parents at Christmas. I told my parents we were going to spend Christmas helping out at a shelter because that's what NB said she wanted to do. But on the day she said she didn't want to go and so I was made a liar.
  
  3) No. All my girlfriends' families have been great.
  
  4) Drama might be good. But it's never safe to put my mother in a dramatic mood.
  
  5) No, not exactly, though it is usually only during the holidays that I go home.
  
  6) Thanksgiving no longer concerns me much. I shop when I need to.
  

• sheltercrow said on Nov 24, 2007....

  

   

  Do you actually enjoy spending time with your family and/or in laws?

  No.

  Have you ever faked other plans or an illness just to get out of visiting them?

  Always. 

  Have you ever dumped a relationship because you hated the other person’s family?

  No.

  Would you rather have an incredibly boring family get together or one filled with drama?

  Drama is good, boring is bad, violent drunks are bad; it’s just the fact that my family is catholic. Except for my lovely grandmother they are all cultists looking for the next world thing.

  Are there people you only see at the holidays? And is the reason for this logistics or that you can't stand them?

  The hypocrisy of Catholics is so disturbing that they give me the willies.

  Do you shop the day after Thanksgiving or would you rather die?

  I was unaware that there was any special reason to shop after thanksgiving.

• minniemouse said on Nov 24, 2007....

  1) Do you actually enjoy spending time with your family and/or in laws? 

            My family, yes…..most of the time….in-laws…nope. 

  2) Have you ever faked other plans or an illness just to get out of visiting them?

            My family, maybe just once.  In-laws…..yep…just this weekend….they live in another state and husband and kids went to visit…I stayed home because I had to work…which I do, but I probably could have gotten off….

  3) Have you ever dumped a relationship because you hated the other persons family?  

   Wish I had….

  4) Would you rather have an incredibly boring family get together or one filled with drama?   Boring….

  5) Are there people you only see at the holidays? And is the reason for this logistics or that you can't stand them…

  certain family members I see only at holiday time…maybe once or twice during the year for other occasions, mainly because of location…

  and NO WAY to shopping....only because my previous career is retail management....I don't want to be lumped in with the crazies that are out that day....that day is the absolute worst!

  MM  :-)

• Mr_Box said on Nov 24, 2007....

  Thank you all for responding. I would love to address every answer but that's a lot of answers.

  I did read them all and I found them very interesting.

  It seems that no one here shops the day after Thanksgiving. Those retailers are missing out.

  Sheltercrow.......what's the significance of the picture?

• Mamie said on Nov 24, 2007....

  Hi there, Boxie, happy T'giving to you too...I would answer exactly the same as Uniquely...maybe we are cut from the same cloth...
   
  We only have holidays with my side of the family. My husbands parents think I caused his heart attack back in 2001 and that the stress of loving me was the cause. Um, retarded? We don't see them anymore coz they created a big ruckus back then and their arrogance was stunning....
   
  He is an only child so to sever that part of the fam did not involve any others...it is kind of sad to me sometimes but other times I am okay with it.
  My fam, although as dysfunctional as the next usually gets along okay...bumpy for awhile and then peace won out.
  Hope your wife got you lots of presents yesterday! xo, Mamie

• Mr_Box said on Nov 24, 2007....

  Mamie.....your husbands family thinks the stress of loving you gave him a heart attack?! That's probably the worst thing I've ever heard in my life.

  I hope my wife got lots of presents because she spent enough money. My bank account is bleeding now...

• Mamie said on Nov 24, 2007....

  hehe, yea that is almost as good as ...when I serve them Thanksgiving dinner they feel like I treat them like furniture (?)...or when I was in the hospital having chemo they did not like how I treated them when they visited...yuck, yuck. I used to internalize alla that...now I just let them go on and on...it gets to be quite comical
   
  well, as for your bleeding bank...my husband left me a nasty-gram on the kitchen counter yesterday with the visa bill attached. I suggest never doing that....I threw it out! He was in the dog house last night...and the gift purchases were for him. Harrrrrrumph!!
   

• Mr_Box said on Nov 24, 2007....

  Mamie.....your in laws are a real piece of work.

  You went through chemo and weren't a perfect hostess? Shame on you. (that's dripping with sarcasm, by the way.)

  The bleeding bank account....I've learned to just smile and pray I have enough money to cover everything.

  My wife thinks that as long as something is on sale, it's okay to buy it. Even if the sale price is still crazy. And she doesn't really need the item.

  But that's part of Christmas I guess.

   

• TaintedAtBirth said on Nov 29, 2007....

  I guess I'm just a freak, I don't usually attend family "get-togethers"
  If they want to see me they know where I'll be.
  
  Probably drinking beer and smoking a brisket.
  Of course football is always on the menu as well.
  
  
  (The smoked brisket will usually attract it's share of visitors!)
  lol
  

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