• evil_twin said on Nov 18, 2007....

  That really is a disgusting story. I don't understand people sometimes. I think anyone who would do such a thing must be pure evil....
  
  -evil_twin LA
  

• silverwhisper said on Nov 18, 2007....

  i'm sorry, i cannot understand this whatsoever.
  
  wh, keep us posted?
  
  ed

• destinydiva said on Nov 18, 2007....

  waking its scary isnt it!
  
  i have just re read a child called it, and i quit the book half way thru, i just cant understand why parents can be so cruel. It sickens me right to the stomach.
  
  I think of how dependant a child is on its parent and it just is beyond me how a parent can abuse that
  
  rah!!!!!!!!
  
  
  

• wakingharmony said on Nov 18, 2007....

  et~As i wrote this I thought of your sweetheart wondering what kind of nurse she is and if she works with children... I have a deep admiration for nurses drs all that deal with our loved ones... I have been in healthcare myself and a bit of hospis...

  sw~The baby boy is doing ok and has been put in Foster care The woman that gave birth (I refuse to call her a Mother in any form!) IS IN JAIL!!!

  Destiny~It is scary! I read the book "The Child called It" I saw him on a few shows too. The Story has a Happy Ending (if you can call it that) He also wrote sequels The Man called (can't remember..darn was long time ago) being you started you mightr want to finish and see how remarkable the young man has grown and over come! it is amazing... if it is the same book.

• evil_twin said on Nov 18, 2007....

  Waking, no, Nat doesn't work with kids. She works for a plastic surgeon. But she did work in a trauma center before and I'm sure she's seen horrible things. She doesn't usually like to talk about them though. She likes being a nurse in a much more controlled setting. I don't blame her. I don't think I could handle seeing things like this happen either.
  
  -evil_twin LA
  

• destinydiva said on Nov 18, 2007....

  waking, yeah i read all three, I read his brothers book too, I started re reading a child call it recently, and maybe it was ignorance? i knew what was coming and i just couldnt hack it, its awful awful awful I just sooooo cant understand it.
  I put it ahead of cold blooded murder/rape/ whatever....  fucking up a young child that is totally dependant on you is just so uhhhhhhhh rah!!!!!!  it eats at me!!
  
  I have to brave up, I am learning psychology, and maybe a child called it is one of the reasons why, I am trying to understand......  but how does anyone understand such abuse of trust ? more so with an innocent dependant child?
  
  you know what hurts me most? is how that poor child still doted on any good attention, its like she treated him so badly that any slight hint of good affection... he loved, aw it just tears me thinking about it.  it must have took concsieous effort and thought to put that kid through so much torture....
  
  it is the same book and yeah, he has come through it!! I visited his website and left a message of admiration after reading the series the first time round....I just cant bring myself to read it again knowing what happens...
  
  you know somedays I am such a clutz I forget to feed the dog and it gets to like 4pm and he starts barking at me and leading me towards his bowl, and it reminds me of that book!! and it makes me a better dog owner!!  :-) I feel guilty for starving my dog for an hour!!  lol   I just wish i could comprehend how mothers can do that to their children for days on end...  uhh see all the images come flooding back to me, I have read many books about the same type of abuse, but a child called it haunts me.
  
  xx
  

• wakingharmony said on Nov 18, 2007....

  et~I understand that too~ I'm sure she saw eneough to last her a life time. tell her hi & give hugs for me!

  Destiny~It Bothers you so much because you care.. Thats what makes you special.   Angela wants to major in Psychology too.. she wants to see if she can  mix music and psychology together to help children.

• Fallyn said on Nov 18, 2007....

  i have a very special place in my heart for people like that mother. i know i will probably get a LOT of flack for this.
  but mental illness.....that IS what this is....even in EXTREME form........mental illness can be ALL encompassing.
  i'm not saying every time a parent hurts a child that it is mental illness....but in extreme form that is all i can believe it to be. 
  i'm not saying she shouldn't be locked up.
  i can't say anything more about this now, i'm crying too hard.
  

• lfbno7 said on Nov 18, 2007....

  Makes me think of my first daughter's ex boyfriend in England. His family is Sri Lankan, which is sort of Indian. He was tortured as a child. He was given to an aunt and uncle to raise, and they tortured him. They dropped him from a height and broke something. They made him sleep in a little box. He was unclean most of the time and not allowed to go to the bathroom. They took away his food after a few seconds so he had to wolf it down fast or lose it. Now he has a bad case of OCD. He can't leave the house without doing a lot of purification rituals. He can't hold a steady job because his OCD makes him miss a lot of work, when he just can't leave the house. His whole life is filled with weird rituals. He is also a real prick and criminal. He's a control freak, and would make a horrible husband. My daughter is with someone else now.

• destinydiva said on Nov 19, 2007....

  waking~ music and psychology, I can totally understand how that could go together, my two favourite things! music can definitly heal, it helps me to understand my own emotions too sometimes.
  
  fallyn~ I understand that some of the parents may suffer from mental illness, and other reasons such as being abused themselves or whatever, but then those that were abused themselves know even more of the pain and torture they are inflicting on their child.
  
  mr7~ theres an example of just how screwed up the poor children grow up to be, sometimes I wonder would they would be better off murdering their children than torturing and then leaving them to make their way in this world after such experiences. Not that I am saying thats ok, I just mean it fucks a child up so much , if it was me I would sooner be dead than live with the experiences some kids endure.
  
  x
  
  

• Fallyn said on Nov 19, 2007....

  destiny..she may not have been abused. she needs to be in a hospital....possibly permanently.
  maybe someday i can talk about why i feel this way. but i can't right now.
  

• pickersplock said on Nov 19, 2007....

  Unfortunately, we are a reactive, not a proactive society.
   
  http://timesunion.com/AspStories/story.asp?storyID=503994&category=SCHENECTADY&BCCode=HOME&newsdate=8/2/2006
   
   

• Fallyn said on Nov 19, 2007....

  and then there are the drug addicts.
  
  *sigh* only a drug addict would name their child after a drug.
  i don't count drug addicts with the mentally ill........completely different thing.
  

• wakingharmony said on Nov 19, 2007....

  lfbno~ I am so glad that {{{{"A"}}}} is ok. I'm sorry for the young man..he is going to have to live with all of that and needs desparate help. I just hope that he has not caused any harm to your baby......I would hate to be him if that had happen. "You don't mess with lennie lous family!"

  destiny~ I think you will make a fantabulous psychologist!!! you go girl!!!

  pickersplock~ Thank you so much for that story!! That is so true what you say!! we are reactive not proactive...that is such a "heavy" statement!! (opps does heavy still mean the same as it did in the 70's?? hehe) I'am still thinking it over before I answer fallyn. I think we all "react" 1st. and the 1sr react is in your brain (or mine anyway) but I still get it confused sometimes.... for instance I wanted to shout out  after I hung up with my daughter....I may bave even been able to explain better as that is my best....as soon as it hits my brain. Then there are the thoughts that came after hearing more on this and I stepped back to think about it for a bit to add my commemnts ...The urgency to try get out there and have everyone grab an abused child and protect them...wasn't going to happen. But the fact is those parents are still out there. Those parents that cant or refuse to see  that doing things like that to a child is not a responsible parent... if they cant even take resposibility for their own mental state.. they surely don't need to take on the responsibility to care and nurture a child....

  Fallyn~ I will coment on your stament later. ;-) I know what I want to say.  I just am not as put together as you are, as in what you say.....I stumble on words, I don't know why.. I just do...I think that when I had my heart attack that something happen with what ever it is that I have to write spell ect... its like starting over, and frustrating....But! I will get it..lol   Hmm thinking...uh oh!!  No really I think I said what I would say to you I wrote in my reply to pickersplock...

• skald said on Nov 19, 2007....

  Oh my god how can anyone do  such a thing. I wish I had not read this. I understand how concerned you are.
  

• wakingharmony said on Nov 19, 2007....

  skald ~ I am sorry...I thought about not writting it and even erasing it but that doesn't change the fact that it happened... I was torn I wished my daughter hadn't told me...and then felt bad that I made her feel bad for telling me... I guess it is a matter of  as picklersplock said "react" or "proact" ...thanks skald you also made it clearer in my head as to what she said (I think)

• Fallyn said on Nov 19, 2007....

  waking it's a hard hard thing. and very difficult to talk about .....for me anyway.
  i don't know why i feel the way i do.....i just see people hurting.
  children.
  mothers.
  and it's more than i can bear.
  i've typed more than one paragraph here and erased it......over and over.
  there just aren't words to describe how i feel and it's too important a subject to debate on.
  

• skald said on Nov 19, 2007....

  Waling. There are so many awful things that are done in this world and it makes me often wonder. This is one of them. A mother. Oh my god. Wish I had a solution. 

• pickersplock said on Nov 19, 2007....

       We're walking a fine line now between doing the "politically correct thing"  ( i.e.;  assuming the best, giving people second chances, keeping families together) and being apathetic.
       Somebody better get their head out of their ass and figure out a way to balance the odds in favor of keeping children safe!  If someone's feelings get hurt, so be it!  .

• Fallyn said on Nov 19, 2007....

  i don't think you should assume the best, or give a second chance, or keep a family together in this case. i just believe that the mother should be in a hospital and not in jail.

• pickersplock said on Nov 19, 2007....

  Yes, anywhere without access to children would be a good start!

• Fallyn said on Nov 19, 2007....

  pickers, i agree.  before i was in NO way advocating she EVER be reunited with her child. only that the mentally ill do not belong in prison.
  
  

• wakingharmony said on Nov 19, 2007....

  For sake of argument ~~ I think all Crimanals have mental problems....Mental health is used for evertything and I believe it to be true... anyone that kills hurts robs drinks and drives over and over have mental problems... does that mean they should be put in a mental hospital along with some that maybe in for a person with something like a drug problem and no criminal background....maybe more mental help to those that want it Key word also being want~ you cant force someone to get well. yes she needs help!`does she want it?? should she be allowed to go to a regular mental health....maybe if she got help before the crime. I think it is a far sadder situation when a mother abandons her child for what ever fear and leaves on a door step .....now that mother deserves  far more... her first thoughts are that to give the baby to someone to take care of...

• Fallyn said on Nov 19, 2007....

  this will probably be the hardest thing i will EVER write.
  
  i came so close to being that mother.
  i was hurting so badly, i had no where to turn for help. no one would listen to me.
  there was no one to trust.
  i knew i just needed to get better. i was sure i was crazy, mentally ill myself.
  it was later proven that i'm not.
  i didn't want to give my kids up. i couldn't leave them alone with their father. ....this is before the youngest was born.
  i very very nearly snapped,
  let me make one thing VERY clear, i NEVER hurt my children. never.
  but the proximity i came to with that was way too close,
  there was no sanity left.
  and it scared me so badly, i took them to their grandparents house.
  
  because of the abuse i had gone through.....(the parts i've posted here are NOTHING compared to the worst of it.)...he'd convinced me that i couldn't trust "the system" and now i do know why.
  it terrifies me to think that if i'd had no one to take them to who i could trust what would have happened.
  
  with this comment i do realize i will probably lose most of my friends i have made here at soulcast.
  i don't expect not to.
  i'm sorry and i wish i never felt the need to share.....
  
  as for my children. even if i'm not deemed suitable for them......and i have come so far.....been in counseling and classes and support 3 times a week, i do believe i'm healthy enough to take care of them properly....and have been since making the decision in counseling to leave my ex......i have psychiatric evaluations that state so.
  though i believe i am healthy enough to take care of them now....they cannot stay with their father.  and this is what i fight for more than anything. so that they have a chance to grow up healthy.
  i love my children more than anything.
  
  all i can say is that i know the place inside a mothers mind........and how little support there is when a mother can't handle it anymore.
  i almost was that mother.
  
  
  
  
  

• wakingharmony said on Nov 19, 2007....

  Fallyn~The thing with you is you did get help!!! You can No way compare you to this person~ {{{{Fallyn}}}} You Could have.......BUT YOU "DIDN"T"!! You need to see the difference. You are not the bad guy here. Look at the Good and get goin girl you can do it!! I see a very strong intelligent woman on these pages....you arent capable of hiding that. it shines girl So I don't want to hear you compare your self to her ok. they just don't compute. {{{{{More hugs }}}}} Now smile!

• Fallyn said on Nov 19, 2007....

  i'm trying waking, i'm trying.
  i just can't help thinking what would happen if i hadn't had anyone to take them too.
  i didn't even tell them why.
  i just brought the kids over and asked if they could watch them for awhile, i told them i was sick.
  no one ever knew that i came that close to snapping......what if i'd had no one that would take them without any questions?
  i guess it's a guilt i'm not going to get over very easily.
  
  
  i love them.
  
  

• wakingharmony said on Nov 19, 2007....

  You would have found someone Fallyn.. you just would of. You can't "Coulda" "Woulda" "Shoulda".....And i dont see you not caring about your girls....you feel that is your sign you care..there is another just look at your positive and don't talk yourself into a negative

• Fallyn said on Nov 19, 2007....

  *grin* thankyou waking.
  you don't know how much i needed that word of encouragement right now.
  

• pickersplock said on Nov 19, 2007....

  Bravo, Fallyn!

• wakingharmony said on Nov 19, 2007....

  You GO!! Girl

• skald said on Nov 19, 2007....

  Sorry I made a typing error it should be walking . 

• wakingharmony said on Nov 19, 2007....

  Skald~ LMBO it is ok and it shold have been waKing hee hee I read eneough of you to know that it was an error but it was funny...thanks*

• Fallyn said on Nov 19, 2007....

  oh you guys. *grins*
  how is it...when i think i've done the worst thing ever....and i still get support? how is it you can do that?
  

• destinydiva said on Nov 20, 2007....

  fallyn~ wakings right...you were almost that person....  you sought help first...  that just shows that abuse  can be avoided if all parents were as smart as you! you got help.
  I admire you, it must have taken an awful lot of strength to share what you shared.
  ((((((((((((hugs)))))))))
  xx
  
  

• Fallyn said on Nov 20, 2007....

  thankyou dessy. *HUGS*

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