Last night, I was getting some stuff out of my car when our neighbor walked outside. This is the woman who lives on the other side of the duplex with her husband. The people I heard having sex at 3am. I'm not going to lie and say she's not a pretty woman. She is. And she's friendly too. So I like talking to her sometimes, and this was no different.
She came over and said hi and asked me if their dog had been bothering us too much. It barks a lot. And truthfully, I hate the little devil dog, but I didn't tell her that. I told her we barely heard a peep out of it, which is a lie. She seemed relieved and said she was glad because the walls are kind of thin. No shit. This would be a perfect time to tell her I heard them going at it in the bathroom, but I didn't.
But then she tells me that she got some amazingly cute picture of Petrie. (The devil dog) And she wanted to share them with me. I guess I laid it on a little too thick about how great I thought their dog was. And before I can protest or say anything else, she runs back into the house and comes out with her camera.
So I was forced to stand there and say, "wow, he sure is cute...." as she showed me all these pictures of the dog. Some of them were good though. The dog is a cute little monster. But then she flips the button to one more picture and suddenly there are her boobs. Naked. And soapy. She's in the shower or something. And there is this picture just staring me in the face.
Oh my God. What the fuck do you do? I know I probably should have immediately looked away or covered my eyes, but I didn't. I'm weak. So I'm standing there with my eyes bugging out (instead of being covered like a gentlemen would do) and I think my mouth might have fallen open too. I'm not sure. But she totally panicked and grabbed the camera away from me, and kept saying, "oh my God....I am so sorry....." over and over again.
Honestly, I wasn't that upset. How can a person be upset because they saw some boobs? That's a happy occasion. Now, I can see why SHE would be upset. But me? I was good. And I told her it wasn't that big of a deal because I'd seen boobs before. To which, she pointed out that I had not seen hers, so it didn't really matter what sort of boob experience I had. True. But I was just trying to tell her that I wasn't exactly appalled by the accident and she could stop saying she was sorry.
So she said she was sorry that she said sorry too much. And then we laughed because she'd just said sorry again. And then there was a moment of awkward silence where we were both looking at the ground. Then I said, "well, okay then...." and she nodded and said, "uh-huh." Which doesn't really make any sense. But either way, it was time to go our separate ways.
She scurried away quickly and I went inside so I could laugh my ass off. And to tell Nat that I now knew why they made so much noise in the bathroom. They were doing a dirty photo shoot in there. Luckily Natalie thought it was funny and was not upset that I saw the boobs next door. It was an accident anyway. It's not like she wanted to show me.
But really, if you take naughty pictures, you should erase them before you start showing off pics of your beloved dog. I can just imagine her showing those off to her church group and suddenly there her boobs are in the shower. Now THAT would be embarrassing....
-evil_twin LA
evil_twin posted on Nov 16, 2007
| views: 635
Comments
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uniquely-ironic said on Nov 16, 2007....
LOL what an airhead! I'm not sure I'd be standing with my neighbor showing him pictures if I knew there were boob shots in there somewhere. At the very least I'd want to have a firm hand on the camera so as to jerk it away at the first sign of boobage.For her to then get all defensive about how it's a big deal that you saw her boobs is even funnier. I mean, she SHOWED them to you. It's not like you went peeping or something.There seems to be a boob flashing vortex in that duplex. First Nat flashes the customer service guy and now the neighbor is flashing you! -
evil_twin said on Nov 16, 2007....
uniquely--I'm guessing she had no idea the boob pics were on there. Or else she thought there were a lot more dog pictures and she was safe! I don't know. But she turned awfully red and wanted to die. I just thought it was hilarious. And if I live in a boob vortex, I'm not complaining! -
the_infernal_optimist said on Nov 16, 2007....
Oh my gosh. :-D There's no way I'd let the camera go near anybody outside my house if there were...interesting...pictures of me on it! :-D Talk about a dumb move - I guess her love for her dog's cuteness kind of obliterated all common sense for a moment there.
I'm happy to say that I've never completely accidentally flashed anybody and I sure hope it stays that way! (No moving to Kyle and Nat's neighborhood - crazy stuff happens there, and the boobs are a-flyin'! :-D)
Nat's awesome to not be upset over that. Some people would've been, I think.
~Infernal
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pickersplock said on Nov 16, 2007....
Aha, how do you know it wasn't accidentally on purpose?! Hmmmm?! -
evil_twin said on Nov 16, 2007....
infernal--I think Nat would have been pretty upset if the neighbor had shown me the pics on purpose. Then she'd wanna know why! But since it was an accident, she just thought it was really funny. But she also said the next time she's showing off dog pictures, she'd like to supervise the moment :-P And I would never show off my camera pictures if I knew there were naked photos on it. That's the kind of stuff you take, then you download it immediately, and erase it!
pickers--I'm pretty sure it was an accident. If she wanted me to see them, she sure did a great job pretending she was horrified!
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wombat said on Nov 16, 2007....
Thanks for yet another amusing peek in to your amazing lives, evil twin and nursecutie! I needed the laugh right now, too.You get into some of the most bizzare situations, don't you? Thank goodness, for the rest of us enjoy hearing about them!I can always just picture the reactions on your face! -
queenparanoia said on Nov 16, 2007....
bwahahahhahahahha that was so funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! whahahahaha were they huge???? =) -
botoni said on Nov 16, 2007....
I m totally amazed that you didnt quip: "Nice puppies!" when you saw the boobs pic. -
wombat said on Nov 16, 2007....
botoni: You scamp! I was thinking that, but was trying to be nice! lol... (Hi botoni!) -
travelr712 said on Nov 16, 2007....
like i always say, any day you see boobs is a goooooooooood day! :-) -
nursecutie said on Nov 16, 2007....
You are so funny, Kyle. I like the part where you said your eyes were bugging and your mouth was open. You are soooo bad! But I know you can't help it b/c you are a man, so you are forgiven for enjoying that little mistake too much!! LOL
I think it is really funny actually b/c that was such a dumb move on her part. If she didn't know the picture was there, I think that her husband is going to get in trouble for not getting rid of it! Our camera is clean right?? LOL It better be! ;)
xxoo natalie xxoo
ps~I miss you tonight, baby......
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depressed said on Nov 16, 2007....
I agree with pickersplock. She wanted you to see them! -
CreativeWoman said on Nov 16, 2007....
You have such entertaining experiences. I was laughing when I read it. I think you need to start writing a sitcom. :-) Of course....after the strike is over. lol
CW
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hotaka said on Nov 16, 2007....
The funniest thing I think was the "okay, then..." and "uh-huh," at the end. That seems so typical of a TV drama, like much of your life actually. A very funny thing, especially that they were soapy boobs.
Did you ever see that character Borat when he was showing photos of his wife, a cheerful and pleasant looking and overweight woman, to two Americans? He's showing polaroids and as they are looking and politely saying, "Oh, she seems very nice," they suddenly find naked photos of her. Of course, the joke is the reaction of the two Americans.
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Fallyn said on Nov 16, 2007....
i say there a moral to this story.
THAT's what you get for LYING.
*grin*
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travelr712 said on Nov 16, 2007....
if that's the wages of lying, fallyn, i'm gonna do it more often! :-) -
Suddenrain said on Nov 16, 2007....
LoL, ET, I think boobs gravitate in your direction. LoL. I agree with a couple others. I think it was planned from the very beginning of the conversation where she brought the dog up. Gave her an excuse to go pull the camera out. You're in California. It's full of actresses you know. Of course she over apologised. It draws more remarks out of you. Women can be so obvious to other women sometimes. -
Mr_Box said on Nov 16, 2007....
Dude, I'm still laughing. This was great.
Nothing like a little unexpected treat while looking at dog pictures.
I wonder if the boobs would have made an appearance if Nat was looking too? I'm inclined to believe it was an accident but you never know.
Maybe she was hoping you'd like what you saw?
Were they good boobs?
Nevermind. Don't answer that. Natty reads this too. I'm sure they were far inferior to the ones you're accustomed to looking at.
I might need to ask my neighbor if I can look at pictures of her dog. Maybe I'll see something good too?
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hotaka said on Nov 17, 2007....
Maybe you'll see dog boobs, Mr. Box. I think they are called teats or is that for cows? Maybe they are paps then? Oh, no. That's what you call an old lady's, isn't it? -
lfbno7 said on Nov 17, 2007....
I think there is a reasonable probability that Pickers and Depressed are right. I don't know if it is as high as 50% but it isn't a long shot. You can find out if you want, out of curiosity, but then of course Nurse Cutie will kill you. So give some thought as to how you want to be killed. All you would have to do, most likely, is to ask your neighbor if she has any more pix to show you, and smile to her. If Pickers and Depressed are right, she'll make another pass at you. And if they are as wild as you paint them, I bet they want her too. If Pickers and Depressed are right about these exhibitionist noisy neighbors of yours, they are thinking foursome. -
Fallyn said on Nov 17, 2007....
sooo funny. -
silverwhisper said on Nov 17, 2007....
heh...i like u-i's idea of a boob-flashing epidemic in the complex...maybe it's boob karma? :>
you know, i bet you're really wishing you'd told her just how annoying her dog is, doncha? :D
ed -
evil_twin said on Nov 17, 2007....
wombat--I'm glad this made you laugh! I do seem to get myself into the strangest situations with the weirdest people. But it makes my life fun. I'm glad I live in crazy town!
queen--Nope, they're weren't huge. But they were good enough. A naked boob, is a naked boob!
botoni--Good one! Damn, I wish I would have thought that. I was rendered speechless though and I couldn't think of anything witty to say. Or speak any words at all.
trav--Any day with boobs showing is an awesome day!
cutie--Our camera is clear! Trust me. I'm not that stupid. And I'm sorry I enjoyed this too much, but I couldn't help it. I'm so, so weak. Thank you for still loving me.
depressed--Really? I didn't get that from her, but who knows?
CW--Thank you :-) I'm glad you enjoy my posts! Being a sitcom writer would be fun. I hope the strike ends soon!
hotaka--I've never seen Borat! Yikes. I need to rent more DVD's. I've heard that movie is hysterical though. I think I'm the only person who hasn't seen it. I'm glad you enjoyed reading this!
Fallyn--If what I get for lying, is a picture of some soapy boobs, then perhaps I should lie more often? :-P
Trav (again)--Exactly.
sudden--Really? You think it was planned? Wow. I never in a million years thought that. But maybe I'm missing something! That's interesting...
Mr. Box--The boobs were not bad. But of course, the ones I'm allowed to look at are much, much better. They really are! I have no idea if the boobs would have made an appearance if Nat was standing there. Everyone is making me wonder about this now, whereas I really thought it was an accident.
Lfbno--Wow. That is an interesting, yet scary thought. A foursome? I have no idea. I think it's just possible this woman was stupid and not trying to get me interested in sleeping with her and her husband. That seems a bit Porn World for real life, but who knows? Maybe I'm really naive?
silver--If I had told her the dog was annoying, I wouldn't have gotten to see the picture! I can live with the boob karma because it's fun for me. I can think of worse types of karma to have!
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wakingharmony said on Nov 17, 2007....
Yep Im wonderin if it wasn't on accidental purpose too lol.... but there are some inocent goobers out there....lol I do think I might have a way of talking Thomas to move to cali though LMBO...... I can just see you Kyle... watchin TV Nat flippin through the channels and you see a flash of boobies!!! Can hear ya sayin Awe Nattie....flip it back to boobies just a min ok? please... You 2 are soo cute! -
evil_twin said on Nov 17, 2007....
waking--I had no idea so many people would think this was intentional! Wow, I need to stop being so gullible because it didn't even occur to me that it was anything other than an accident. But yes, I am a bit of a boob freak and I am lucky that Nat understands this harmless obsession! -
lfbno7 said on Nov 17, 2007....
I think the odds are that it was not intentional but I wouldn't bet the rent on that. Maybe 2-1 odds. 2/3 chance it was not intentional, only 1/3 chance it was her making a pass at you. And if it was her making a pass at you, I think there's a pretty good chance that this couple wants a foursome with you two and was just testing the waters. Still, 2/3 chance that it was just a mistake. -
minniemouse said on Nov 17, 2007....
First rule of dirty picture taking....always get rid of the evidence!!!!! lol....good lord, she must be mortified! But then again, don't take the pics if you don't want someone to see them! :-) Minnie -
evil_twin said on Nov 18, 2007....
lfbno--I guess I'm just going to have to wait and see if she ever does or says anything else. I don't think she will.
minnie--My thoughts exactly! If you take the pictures, keep them safe! Don't leave them on your camera. It's just too risky!
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travelr712 said on Nov 18, 2007....
et - i don't know a straight guy that isn't a boob freak. like they say, if i had a set of my own to play with, i wouldn't leave the house! :-) -
evil_twin said on Nov 18, 2007....
Trav--This is very true. If we had our own, we'd always be touching them. But of course, technically we do have our own, but it's not the same experience. There's no squishy fun to be had there. Well unless you're a really huge guy. Even then, I'm guessing it's not the same. And if it is, I don't really need to know about it :-P -
travelr712 said on Nov 18, 2007....
LOLOL i see your point! and you're probably right, if we had our own, they wouldn't be interesting to us at all. must just be the fact that we want what we can only have once in awhile.no, it's that they're soft and squishy and fun to squeeze, and it makes them purrrrr in such a wonderful way when we do! :-) -
evil_twin said on Nov 18, 2007....
Trav--I actually had a woman ask me why boobs were so appealing. Like she wanted an actual reason why. I didn't know what to say. They just are! They're soft and sqiushy and pretty to look at. There is no explanation. I just like them! -
minniemouse said on Nov 18, 2007....
lol....I'm picturing you guys sitting on the sofa...playing with your own boobs....lol..... -
travelr712 said on Nov 18, 2007....
would that we could, minnie, would that we could! :-) -
evil_twin said on Nov 18, 2007....
minnie--If we had them, it would be an unavoidable pastime.
trav--You said it.
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lfbno7 said on Nov 18, 2007....
I remember the first time I played with two of them. I forgot the girl's name though. I remember the second time too. Ooo, creamy. -
merlin said on Nov 19, 2007....
Hahaha, it realy does sound planned ! My husbnd nd i live in a complex kind of thing, last we came home early only 2 see the couple next door sunbathing totally naked! Oh the horror -
travelr712 said on Nov 19, 2007....
merlin - was that your husband's opinion too? :-) -
merlin said on Nov 19, 2007....
Well for a minute we stood there totally shoked , but then the lady grabbed a towel nd rushed over to apologise! Afta my initial horror ,we both found it rather amusng -
evil_twin said on Nov 19, 2007....
lfbno--I don't think any of us can forget the first ones we played with.
merlin--I wouldn't be surprised to see our neighbors doing the same thing some day!
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tizzygirl said on Nov 19, 2007....
LMAO! You lucky dog you!! In her defense though, it is possible that her boyfriend swore to her that he erased them from the camera! That happens...one time after we had been given a new camcorder we decided to put it to some good dirty use....anyway someone swore they had erased it and we ended up recording some truck stuff over it....2 of my boyfriends friends came over and they were watching the trucks and when that was over there was a moment of white fuzz and then BOOM, me half naked and well....anyway of course I ran to turn it off while everyone else in the room sat frozen with their eyes fixed to the screen...I was just happy that it was the top portion of me and not anything more personal....so maybe you could have pointed out to her that it could have been worse!! But funny story Kyle!! -
evil_twin said on Nov 19, 2007....
tizzy--That is an embarrassing story! Um, you gotta be careful with those naughty tapes. It always surprises me how many people have stories like that. I can tell you that I'd be very careful if I had things like that floating around! I can just imagine me accidentally putting the tape into a Lion King box and returning it to Blockbuster.... -
travelr712 said on Nov 19, 2007....
LOL et... i've never actually done any 'spicy photography', so i have nothing to worry about, but lately i'm into new experiences, so maybe i should take your suggestion? perhaps add my phone number to the end? :-) -
evil_twin said on Nov 19, 2007....
trav--I have no dirty tapes...but there are some pictures that might exist. Not of me though! But believe me, they're not still on my camera.
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