Just a little bit ago, my cat deposited something at my feet while we were eating dinner. She was really proud of this too. She's such a show off. I'm sure she wanted to prove that her dinner was better than ours. After all, she hunted this herself and all we did was go to the supermarket.
But this is what she put on my foot. Still alive, I might add. It's a potato bug. Or at least that's what we call it. No one else seems to know what that is and I guess they've never had the pleasure of seeing one before either. I guess it's also called a Jerusalem cricket too, but I've never heard that myself. Anyway, she puts this thing on my foot, only I didn't realize at first. I thought she was putting her paws on me, because I could feel something sharp like claws.
I looked down to tell her to stop and I see that fucking monster of a bug sitting on my bare foot. I'm not going to pretend I was cool and manly and simply smiled at the creature and asked it if it would like a piece of my chicken. I jumped up and kicked my foot so this thing went sailing across the room. It hit the wall and sort of ricocheted back onto the floor.
My cat thought this was a wonderful game. She ran over, grabbed the thing in her mouth, with the legs sticking out and flailing all over the place. And she tossed it into the air and tried to catch it with her paws. Then she flung it right back at me. Meanwhile, Natalie is alternating between hyperventilating with laughter, with a few periodic screams thrown in when the bug got too close to her.
And the cat is having the best time ever. She even attracted the attention of the other cat folk, and they gathered around to watch. It was like when they used to feed people to lions back in the day. Only this time it was a cat eating a potato bug. So it was a smaller scale. But trust me, it was a good show. I was cheering the cat on. Mostly because I didn't want to have to pick this thing up and toss it outside. I wanted her to eat it.
But apparently the crunchy shell was not to her liking, because she took a nice big bite, and spit it back out onto the floor. The game was over. She was bored now. It was dead and apparently not tasty enough to actually eat. So she walked away, leaving me to do the dirty work.
We have a real problem with these bugs for some reason. They're all over the place. They live outside in the garden and somehow find their way under the garage door. The cats will sit in the garage and hunt for stuff. They don't go outside, so this is their only hunting ground. And they do pretty well. I mean, they already caught a bird once too. Not bad for indoor cats.
But this was not our first potato bug incident. Unfortunately. Poor Nat was the unsuspecting victim once herself. One night, Miss Fluff was making angry noises. She was growling and hunched over and Nat thought something was wrong with her. So being a good cat mommy, she rushed over to her and asked what was wrong. (Yes, we talk to our cats.) The only response she got was a growl.
Honestly, if an animal is growling, it's best to leave it alone. There's a reason why it's growling. And it means you should just go away. But Natty loves her kitty and wanted to help, so she scooped her up in her arms so she could see if she was okay. This is when Miss Fluff dropped a very large potato bug down her shirt. Right into the middle of boobland. And when Nat looked down, this evil thing was staring up at her from in between her cleavage.
I really don't think I've ever heard a person scream that loud before. Ever. And she reached down into her shirt, grabbed the bug and hurled it across the room like a grenade. Apparently Miss Fluff had this thing in her mouth and that's why she was growling. She didn't want anyone to take her treat away. That'll teach Nat to pick up a growling cat.
So has anyone else ever had run ins with creepy bugs? I can handle most bugs without problem, though I'm not fond of any sort of bugs actually crawling on me. But something about these potato bugs are just evil. They freak me out. And they smell funky too. I don't blame the cat for spitting it out because it didn't smell very appetizing to me either....
-evil_twin LA
evil_twin posted on Nov 14, 2007
| views: 552
Comments
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hinana said on Nov 14, 2007....
ive never had one as bad as gettign a bug down mmy shirt *shudders*once when i was camping with my family..back in the day when my cousin was still a baby..beign about 8 or so..i was walking around with my baby cousin in my arms..and then everyone freaks out over this huuuge bug on my arm...i nearly dropped my cousin..luckily his mum grabbed him before i started yelling xDothe rthen that its mostly been me and myc ousins frwakign out my aunts with bugs xD -
nursecutie said on Nov 14, 2007....
OMG.....reading this is even funnier than when it happened!! You make everything sound so funny :) I was LMAO about the bug landing in boobland! You are too cute....I could definitely do w/out those horrid bugs though. Yucky!!! I guess that our cats like them. They must be fun to play with. They are so big! Blegh! I will die very happy if I never have another one of those icky critters in my boobland! LOLxxoo natalie xxoops~that pic was yucky too!!!! -
tbs230 said on Nov 14, 2007....
Aside from water bugs in Haiti, nope. And even then, if I saw one, I ran in the opposite direction.
Maybe we should get cats? -
evil_twin said on Nov 14, 2007....
hinana--I don't have a problem seeing bugs crawling around, but when they're actually ON me, I'm not happy! Especially this type of bug because it's nasty and huge and they scratch you too.
cutie--I thought boobland had a nice ring to it. It's a land I enjoy very much. But it should never, ever have bugs in it! Bugs should be banished from boobland forever. And as the king of boobland, they shall listen to me! :-P
tbs--Cats are excellent bug catchers. You should get one!
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hinana said on Nov 14, 2007....
eww...another time when i went camping..this year actually..i put my pillow up beside the window and was goign to sleep a lil..until i scratched my foot..i figured it was the zipper from my mums sweater..but i looked and theres this HUGE wasp crawling ariound there!
i freaked out a full moving van of kiddies on the highway..we were all squished into the cornor of the backseats lol
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nursecutie said on Nov 14, 2007....
Omg.....you are still making me laugh! The king of boobland?? So many new nicknames today........so little time to use them!
xxoo natalie xxoo
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Zayda said on Nov 14, 2007....
Okay that picture of the bug gives me the heebie jeebies. EWWW! EWWWW! EWWWW!!!!
The story is hysterical though. I can see your cat bringing you the bug and the pride she was probably looking at you with.
And Natalie, I have to say the bug in boobland had me rolling with laughter and squirming at the same time.
We've had our cats do similar things. If a fly gets in the house in the summer, they go wild. W.C. makes this odd noise that's not really a growl. It's more like a "chitter". It's a rather strange noise.
When I had outdoor cats (years ago), I've had them bring me small creatures--mice, frogs--that were still alive but injured. And they really want praise for bringing those creatures. -
evil_twin said on Nov 14, 2007....
hinana--Wasps are not good either. I don't like to be stung, of course, but those things never stop either. Not like bees. I've had a wasp in my car before and it's a challenge to not freak out and crash while you desperately try to coax it out the window!
cutie--I do have a lot of new nicknames today, huh? But feel free to call me whatever you like.....
zayda--Isn't that a disgusting looking thing? Most people I know have never seen one. But we've got plenty at our place! The cat was awfully proud and we had to give her credit for such a great catch. But next time I hope she doesn't put it on my foot or down Nat's shirt!
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the_infernal_optimist said on Nov 14, 2007....
Ewww - we don't have those bugs around here! Yuck!
I don't do bugs. I mean, I can handle seeing one inside (although I want it out), but I don't deal well with a large bug anywhere on me. And spiders - forget it. If I see a spider anywhere at all, I'm frozen until it's gone - unless it's really close to where I am. I've moved a chair with two people in it a good six feet in fright before when one dropped down on a thread in front of me and did that really ewwkie leg-waggle thing.
I did laugh my butt off all the way through the post, other than eww-ing a few times. You're so much fun to read! :)
~Infernal
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Eilan said on Nov 14, 2007....
I don't really have any "creepy" bug stories, but when I was about 10 or so, I made a game of picking up honeybees by their wings. That worked out really well until I got stung on the thumb. I didn't cry because I knew I had it coming.
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tbs230 said on Nov 14, 2007....
We have two small dogs, and they already don't like human males...somehow I don't think they would approve of a cat. They also have issues with our two red eared sliders (turtles)...but that is more along the line that they're scared stiff of them hehehe. -
queenparanoia said on Nov 15, 2007....
very funny kyle!! and hehehehe it landed on natalie's boobs!!!! your cats are cute... =) -
Fallyn said on Nov 15, 2007....
how big was this thing? -
fearing said on Nov 15, 2007....
Too funny E_T!!! I've never seen a potato bug. It doesn't matter because I don't think my cat would catch it. We had a mouse once so we chunked the cat into the room where the mouse was and closed the door. Two hours later the cat was sitting on the bed with an expression that clearly looked like he was saying "I don't know what you plan to do about that mouse but I ain't catching it!". Both my animals are pretty worthless in the roles they were intended for. -
merlin said on Nov 15, 2007....
Hey evil twin , iv just joined soulcast nd hav been reading ur posts ,its realy funy, tanks 4 d smiles. My cat loves dragng in all manner of bugs, nd 1nce she brought in a mole! Was so gross.bt dnt u love d proud look dy gve u as they leave the bug at your feet. :-) -
evil_twin said on Nov 15, 2007....
infernal--I'm glad you had fun reading this. I'm also glad you've never seen a bug like that too. Trust me, you're not missing anything good! I don't like spiders either, at least if they're big and/or poisonous!
eilan--I used to love playing with snails and daddy long leg spiders when I was kid. My brother used to catch bumble bees and shake them up in his hand. Crazy! He never got stung though, which amazes me.
tbs--Maybe you need to train your dogs to hunt bugs instead?
queen--Glad you liked reading this!
fallyn--This thing was big. Like maybe two inches long. Pretty much the picture I linked, was actual size!
fearing--We have 4 cats, and two of them are pretty lazy hunters. They don't do anything but sleep and watch the others catch stuff. But Misty and Miss Fluff are constantly on the prowl for anything they can find. A mouse would not stand a chance next to them. But the other two cats would probably just fall asleep.
merlin--Welcome to Soulcast :-) My old cat when I was a kid caught a mole. She ate the whole thing and left us the head and the front flipper feet sitting on the back porch! It was nasty. But she was very proud of it so we had to give her a pat of the head before we disposed of the carcass!
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MissMimi said on Nov 15, 2007....
e_t, LOL, this is hilarious. I'm not even going to look at the picture, thankyouverymuch. All bugs are evil.
The reason I refuse to squish a spider that is higher than my head is, the last time I did that, I missed, the spider fell off the wall, and it landed right in my cleavage! Talk about screaming...
I just have to say, that I really enjoy your writing style. The way you see life and relate it to us here is funny and heartwarming. It makes me smile, if not outright laugh.
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tizzygirl said on Nov 15, 2007....
gross gross gross eww eww eww, those are the most disgusting bugs I've ever seen in my life, if I were you, I would move! Ok maybe not really move, but I'd want to if any bugs made it to any land on my body! Poor Nat :( -
uniquely-ironic said on Nov 15, 2007....
LOL I have to say that the kitty crowd and lions den are pretty close to the truth for cats. I'd have freaked if a potato bug dropped down my shirt, Nat did good just tossing it.My old cat was an outdoor cat and a fantastic mouser. She was always bringing birds, lizards and other things to show us. One morning I heard her fussing around in the basement and when I went to see what she was playing with we found that she had cornered a tarantula. It must have been someone's pet that got loose. -
silverwhisper said on Nov 15, 2007....
[blinks]
OK, i've got no wacky, super-sized bugs in uncomfortable places stories or anything but i do wanna take this opportunity to laugh at "boobland". :>
although hearing a cat go "crunch" on something does make me kinda squirm, i'll confess.
ed -
quietone said on Nov 15, 2007....
oh, yuck that bug is creepy! I sure the heck would NOT want it down my shirt in uncharted territory either! And I am with infernal on spiders...When I had outside cats they were always bringing me home treats at the door...mice with no heads was always the popular one. the sad one was the baby bunnies they got in the fields. Inside kitties attack my spiders for me. good funny story e.t.
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MissMimi said on Nov 15, 2007....
a tarantula!!! holy shit they would have had to peel me off the freaking ceiling!
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Alyss said on Nov 15, 2007....
Yeuck! I'd have probably been screaming too. That crunchy noise is quite something. For me it's shield bugs. I loathe them. They make me cringe. And here they appear every spring by the thousands and then the cat chomps on any that find their way indoors.
My IL's cats bring them baby bunnies to play with so it could be worse...
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uniquely-ironic said on Nov 15, 2007....
MissMimi - I was more freaked out by the fact that it had been running around the house uncaught for a few months. I had my ex escort the bug outdoors. -
PassionTraveler said on Nov 15, 2007....
Awe, your baby loves you. Most humans just don't realize how high an honor it is to receive such a prize. (yes, we are usually squeamish.)
When a cat presents such a prize, it's a great great honor telling you how much they respect you.
A word of advice, never let it see you toss the prize. He/she will be very offended.
PT
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evil_twin said on Nov 15, 2007....
Mimi--Thank you :-) I'm glad you enjoy the way I write. I had fun writing this too! A spider in boobland is also a bad thing. Nothing like that belongs there! I once tried to kill a spider on the ceiling and it landed on my head instead. So generally, I leave them alone when they're up there too!
tizzy--They are gross bugs, aren't they? Hopefully they'll never end up on us again. I'm not quite willing to move yet!
uniquely--The funny thing is that when you throw a potato bug against the wall, it just bounces off. It's got like this bullet proof shell or something. It was bad enough having one on my foot, but if it was like dropped down my pants, I would have screamed like a little girl myself. If I found a tarantula in my house, I'd have nightmares forever.
silver--It is disgusting to hear this bug crunch. Trust me. It's a very crunchy bug. I'm surprised the cat could actually chomp through it!
quietone--Mice with no heads? That's like a horror movie! And these potato bugs are probably the grossest thing I've seen. At least in this country!
alyss--I think I'd rather deal with bugs than my cats eating baby bunnies. That would be horrible!
PT--Yes, my kitty does love me. She was just sharing her catch with me. But yuck! She actually seemed amused by me tossing it away because she thought I wanted to play with it first before I ate it....
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amyispretty said on Nov 16, 2007....
That thing is horrifying. There was something in my house last night that looked a bit like that and i squashed the hell out of it. Yuck.
My cat used to kill rabbits and leave them at the back door, and my bf would get SO PISSED OFF!!!
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Mr_Box said on Nov 16, 2007....
God, I hate those fucking things. They're just not natural.
When we were kids, I remember finding those things in the flower beds. And I used to tell you that if you ate them, they tasted like potatoes.
Good thing you didn't buy that crap. But if you had actually bitten into one that would be a great story.
If a cat won't even eat it, then it must be pretty bad.
I'm surprised Natty is still breathing after having one of things in 'boobland' (nice phrase coinage)
Maybe it's time to call the Orkin Man?
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ironically-young said on Nov 19, 2007....
I've had my own share of creepy jeepys from bugs. I was staying at a hotel after my friends wedding and I was just settling in when I pulled back the blankets on my pillow to reveal a spider crawling back to the part of the bed covered by blankets. I screamed!!! Running back to the corner of the hotel room I grabbed my shoe and beat the smitherines out of the bed till I was sure it was dead. It was late so I slept on the oppiste side of the bed but still afraid that there were more crawling around waiting for their chance to get me when I fell asleep. So over all I didn't get much sleep. -
evil_twin said on Nov 19, 2007....
amy--Poor rabbits! That seems to be a popular cat treat though. Several people mentioned that.
Mr. Box--Yes, I remember you telling me they tasted like potatoes. I actually did believe you, but I wasn't so crazy as to try it out! I didn't like potatoes that much.
ironically--I've had spiders in my bed before. I woke up once to find one sitting on my pillow! That was scary.
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kumarilata said on Dec 02, 2007....
you have lots of fun with that cat, don' t you. I love cats, and dogs too
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