• crybabylu said on Nov 13, 2007....

  I guess I am confused.  I thought he had already done that because how else did it go in his favor to even keep the kids now, unless juristiction had already been established in Colorado?  I guess I need to go back and re-read your posts, because I have missed something for sure.

• Mamie said on Nov 13, 2007....

  what did your lawyer say that was encouraging...lets focus on that? And if you say nothing...then we need to talk about a different lawyer....*hugging you****mamie

• Fallyn said on Nov 13, 2007....

  this is my "different" lawyer, i fired the one that got this whole mess started......and it was her secretary that called.....and no there wasn't really anything positive.....my lawyer is as confused by my case as everyone else is....she's just going to give it her best
  
  she's the best lawyer in the whole county.......men are scared of her.
  ive never been friends with women like that.......but i'll take one for my lawyer!
  
  
  

• silverwhisper said on Nov 13, 2007....

  fallyn: OK, some questions:
  
  1. what is your attorney's view of the likelihood of jurisdiction being changed? and why would colorado law favor him, since that's the only reason to change jurisdiction?
  
  2. you need to demonstrate that he's an unfit father. can you and your attorney try that?
  
  ed

• Fallyn said on Nov 13, 2007....

  we set up a meeting for this thursday.....i will bring these questions to her then.
  
  he knows what society expects...and he's a VERY good actor when he tries.
  i'm sure he is taking excellent care of them and following all the rules he needs to follow.
  
  it isn't that he doesn't know the rules of society and how to get by in it........he believes he's a level higher than that ....but he'll do it when it suits his needs.
  
  the guy is very intelligent.....his IQ is around 160 or 180 or something.
  intelligence, megalomania and psychopathy go OH so well together.
  

• uniquely-ironic said on Nov 13, 2007....

  If your divorce was in your jurisdiction perhaps you should file a motion independant of his to keep jurisdiction in your area.  At the very least it will tie up the case if not take precedence in the custody case.
   
  Also, SW is right.  You need to start building a case for him being an unfit parent.  Talk to friends, old coworkers of his, see if you can get any sort of opinion, professional or not, that he would not be the best parent.

• Fallyn said on Nov 13, 2007....

  we were never married.....this is ONLY about custody.
  and jurisdiction has already been established here....he's trying to get it officially moved.
  

• silverwhisper said on Nov 13, 2007....

  FWIW, IQ tests are not accurate much beyond the 160 or so range.
  
  don't be intimidated, fallyn. your kids will be better off with you than the indoctrination he will almost certainly foist on them. be angry, be confident and be utterly merciless with him.
  
  ed

• uniquely-ironic said on Nov 13, 2007....

  If the custody issue is in your jurisdiction now I'd definately make sure that the judge who hears his motion to change venue knows that since he may try to get a judge in his jurisdiction to hear the motion.
   
  Also, just as a side note.  Get anyone and everyone who is willing to come in and give testimony lined up to tell the judge that you are the better parent. 
   
  I can imagine how awful this feels.  (well, sort of.  No one can ever really know)  This is what he wants, to make you feel scared.  You need to pull yourself up by your bootstraps and give him a fight that he'll never forget.

• Fallyn said on Nov 13, 2007....

  ed......i do know that....but i've seen demonstrations of his intelligence....it's an odd sort....like....an idiot savant? in many ways......but more functional than that.
  
  UI the judge will be the same one we had for our hearing the first time....oh goody.
  
  and fighting for all i'm worth is what i'm prepared to do.
  i'm taking all the scars stories i posted here into my lawyer...so she can have a full picture of what i've gone through and can help me develop the best strategy to use it against him. I'm going to have to testify in open court.
  i've never told anyone all the details....except for here.....and my love.....my counselor knows most of it......i haven't shown her the stories yet either.
  that's going to be the hardest part.
  talking about all of it in front of my family and friends and strangers.
  

• Fallyn said on Nov 13, 2007....

  on his intelligence also.....he is a highly respected contributer to sites like /.  (slashdot for the uninitiated) and wikipedia.(i believe he's a moderator on one and an administrator on the other) ......i'm not giving him more credit than is due for his intelligence. it is a fact i have to live with through this. i am NOT stupid.....i'd say my intelligence is high......if that's not being too presumptuous .....but i can't match his, and especially not in debate. his intelligence is what truly scares me.

• silverwhisper said on Nov 13, 2007....

  don't worry, his supreme arrogance is his vulnerability. your lawyer will know how to make the best use of that.
  
  ed

• Fallyn said on Nov 13, 2007....

  i sure hope you are right.

• CreativeWoman said on Nov 13, 2007....

  I just wanted to offer my support, Fallyn.  The others said it better than I could.
  
  ((((Hugs))))
  
  CW
  

• Fallyn said on Nov 13, 2007....

  thankyou CW..

• uniquely-ironic said on Nov 13, 2007....

  Being very smart does not make him the better parent.  If this were true, many of the centuries geniuses would have made good parents.  In fact, most did a dismal at best job of raising children.  It's how you love and nurture a child that makes you a good parent and from what I've heard, you're the better parent.

• pookiedookie said on Nov 13, 2007....

  funny about intelligence, Fallyn.   I would've put you somewhere close to what you say his is.

• Fallyn said on Nov 13, 2007....

  UI...i know that.....he just knows how to play the system it seems....the intelligence to do that and make people believe him is what scares me. he had me convinced of my own insanity for YEARS....how easy will it be to convince someone else?
  
  pookie....*grin* i don't want it......everyone i've known....and the circles i run in i've known more than my fair share......who have THAT high an intelligence....are SEVERELY lacking in some other area. .....my intelligence was tested at 2 years old.....at 115.....i think it's at 135 now or something close to that.....i firmly believe that a high intelligence has caused some problems for me...one of them being a severe lack of common sense. .....as has been demonstrated by what i've been through.
  
  i do not wear intelligence as a badge of honour that reflects all of who i am.
  and i have known more people of extremely low intelligence who have more heart than anyone i have ever known....intelligence is just a number.....NOT the sole defining factor of who you are or how you live your life.
  

• designedmoreforpublic said on Nov 13, 2007....

  Just wanted to offer my yhoughts and support, too.
  I've never been through what you're going through- so I have no words of wisdom to offer- just good thoughts for you.
   

• Fallyn said on Nov 13, 2007....

  thanks designed. i appreciate it...and welcome to soulcast.

• dazed_and_confused said on Nov 13, 2007....

  I am gonna pray for you Fallyn. I hope that things would become better for you. Hugs... Hang in there! :D
  
  Praying for you,
  dazed
  

• rupert7 said on Nov 13, 2007....

  Fally.....This is a traumatic mega suck for you.I have no knowledge of USA law and not much more of Aussie law for that matter so I don't know what to tell you,except this-- any good advice here should be taken. I really wish for the best possible outcome for you and the kids..((((((((hug hug)))))))))

• Fallyn said on Nov 13, 2007....

  thankyou SOOOO much rup! *HUGE hugs*

• rupert7 said on Nov 13, 2007....

  I really wish I could help! I am...what do you Yanks say....rooting for you? or ids thaat only is sports? hot damn ya git ma meanin don't cha??

• wombat said on Nov 13, 2007....

  I have no good advice, of course.  Just concern--and lots of it.  I am still hoping for the best for you and your girls. 
   
  ({{{{{{{{{and lots of hugs and prayers}}}}}}}}}}}

• Fallyn said on Nov 13, 2007....

  *grin* absolutely! :P
  
  and yeah...rooting for you works. *laughing* thanyou rupert.
  

• Fallyn said on Nov 13, 2007....

  thankyou wombie! *HUGS*

• queenparanoia said on Nov 14, 2007....

  oh my... i'll pray for you...

• pickersplock said on Nov 14, 2007....

  I was checking in and I wanted to wish you luck.

• RollingC said on Nov 14, 2007....

  I will keep you in my prayers.....in the meantime get your lawyer to play the delaying game that all lawyers are good at...be strong before your lawyer because if you give up then he's not going to try so hard.  Keep the jurisdiction here and make it sound it's for the children's welfare....you know....their parents are splitting up...a new change will leave emotional scars that will effect their development...etc. etc.
  God bless and good luck
  Rc
  

• skald said on Nov 14, 2007....

  Oh Fallyn. I hope it will all go right. ((((((Hugs))))))

• vacantmind said on Nov 14, 2007....

  He is trying to move this to Colorado so that you lose support. He suspects that anyone who would stand up for you in court wouldn't be able to make this trip. Which tells me he is a bit scared to fight on a level field.

  Sit with your attorney and see how you can stop this. It might not be possible because he has your children and he can claim them as a reason for the change. So, you might want to discuss what you can gather in your defense. Like affidavits of your character witnesses because even in the best circumstances you are likely to lose a few if this moves and people's opinions change over time.

  Take a deep breath and remember your next move.

• Fallyn said on Nov 14, 2007....

  vacant i do believe you are right. he will do anything to hurt me.
  thankyou for the advice.
  
  thankyou everyone for your support. it means a lot to me.
  

• silverwhisper said on Nov 14, 2007....

  of course she's right! he might even in his stupid-assed clueless way think he's doing you a favor by treating you as harshly as possible to make you stronger!
  
  ed

• Fallyn said on Nov 14, 2007....

  ed...that's EXACTLY what he does. i think he even believes he's doing the right thing for the kids.

• silverwhisper said on Nov 14, 2007....

  i know, and that's what scares me for them!

• husbandhater said on Nov 14, 2007....

  {{{{{Fallyn}}}}}}} I'll say a prayer for you. How can he change juristiction if you and the kids established recidency in another state. A friend of mines had a simular case and they caught it in enough time. They told him they could not go by his state standards b/c they were lower, they had to go by the state the child LIVES in. Although this was a support case I imagine it couldn't be that much different from a custody case. He probably knows a little something about Colorado law so he wants the case moved there. Fight Fallyn. I hope you have lady tiger and I hope you give him hell. God Bless and goodluck!

• Fallyn said on Nov 14, 2007....

  husband...he has the kids...they are living with him...but it's only been two months.....so i'm not sure how that works with residency and stuff.

• blastfromthepast said on Dec 01, 2007....

  Just because he's got a high IQ doesn't mean that he's 'sane'.  It sounds as though the story you have to tell is too horrifying for someone like me to comprehend.  But tell it you should, for your own healing and because he expects you to be too ashamed to tell it.  And, Fallyn, remember that you are a 'survivor', and not a 'victim'.  Kick him where it counts so hard that he chokes.

• Fallyn said on Dec 01, 2007....

  it's very horrifying. thankyou so much.....i intend to kick him and HARD.

• blastfromthepast said on Dec 02, 2007....

  Atta girl!  Get those ducks in a row.  You have more than enough evidence to reveal what he really is.  As an afterthought, did it occur to you that he might be using your girls as a lever to get to you? 

• Fallyn said on Dec 02, 2007....

  i sure hope i do.
  
  he's totally using the girls as a lever...yes, that's one of the first things i thought of when this happened.
  he doesn't care about them. he's never spent time with them.
  he believes that he cares about them..but he really doesn't know how to.
  

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