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i'm the queen...

queenparanoia posted on Nov 13, 2007 | views: 297 | Tags: queen paranoia, special, Once Shy Twice Bitten, mean girls, proud
when i was in high school i met a girl whom i thought would become my bestfriend. she was really nice to me and i thought i could trust her with everything.
 
that happened when i went to college too. i also met a girl who i thought would be my friend...
 
but you know what these girls do? they stab you in the back. they talk bad behind you. they spread gossip about you...
 
for so long i thought the problem was me. i mean it happened to me twice! i thought i know better...
 
you know the movie "mean girls"? those girls exist for me in real life. torturing me mentally. making me feel bad about myself. making my self esteem low.
 
but not this time...
 
i already build a defensive wall around me that i would not let this kind of people bother me anymore...
 
what consists of these walls?
 
my family.... who loves me no matter what eventhough i may bitch about them sometimes. yeah i know they love me and i know we could pass through the ordeals in life.
 
my friends.. yes my friends in real life and in soulcast. the people whom i respect and the people who i love. i know who they are know...
 
my faith in myself... i know who i am now and i know what i can do. and i won't let these people ruined me...
 
and lastly, my faith in God... this is the strongest wall. my faith in God.
 
with the walls protecting me i wondered... why do these girls hate me? i mean i was nice to them... i helped them with their problems... i thought i was a good friend to them...
 
i asked a very good friend about this...
 
she said... "that's because these girls are jealous of you and they have low self esteem."
 
what??? jealous??? why????
 
i'm not pretty!!! have you seen my pimples lately???
 
i'm not sexy!!! have you seenm fat body?? i'm not ashamed of it but i'm honest about it... i'm fat! fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat!!!!!!!!!!!
 
i'm not rich!!! i just quit school and i dont have a job...
 
i'm not smart!!! yeah i may be slow sometimes...
 
i'm still a virgin!!! and a very frustrated one... hehehehehe at least i'm not a whore.....
 
i'm not special!!!!
 
then why???? for goodness sake are these girls jealous??? picking a fight with me like they thought they could win....
 
because...
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
i'm the queen of paranoia...
 
i'm fucking fabulous...
 
so if you think youre better than me then why????
 
oh why???? 
 
would you hate me??? i didnt do anything wrong to you...
 
well, at least it's out of my system now...
 
i dont know what happened to these girls. and i dont need to know...
 
i have more problems to think about than this...
 
and i know there are people out there who would be like this...
 
to these people...
 
don't hate the queen of paranoia...
 
you may not want to know how powerful she could be...
 
 
bwaahahahahahahahahaahahaha (me in my evil laugh)...
 
p.s.
 
to all my soulcast friends. thanks for the love and support!!! =)


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Comments

  • rupert7 said on Nov 13, 2007....
    If you are a virgin then you are special! remember that! 
  • queenparanoia said on Nov 13, 2007....
    eheheheheheheheh thanks rupert!!! =)
  • hotaka said on Nov 13, 2007....
    My favourite queen. Never say you are nothing special. All the people you mentioned who love you, including your SoulCast pals like me, think you are special.
    I am very glad to read about your self esteem. Yes, that's why those girl's are jealous. They are weak and feel bad about themselves somehow and that's why they have to treat others poorly. I hope they can grow out of it. As for you, pimples, fat and all the rest, awww... let me give you a big hug and a kiss on the cheek.
  • queenparanoia said on Nov 13, 2007....
    hotaka: oh thank you my sweet panda you are so nice!!! i blog this because i want it out of my system... =)
  • pickersplock said on Nov 13, 2007....
    Hey, twin!  There are some people who just like to spread misery.
    Just like here on SC, most of us are going about blogging and commenting, agreeing and/or disagreeing, but there are those that just like to try to create havoc.  To bad you can't block them in real life with a quick click of your mouse, huh?
  • queenparanoia said on Nov 13, 2007....
    pickers: hey there soulcast twin!!! dont worry abou tme i'll be fine... i'll just  ignore them.. =)
  • MsStar39 said on Nov 13, 2007....
    Queenie,
    you are very special, there is always people jealous of others, I call it
    the green eyed moster always waiting to rear it's ugly head.
  • skald said on Nov 13, 2007....
    Never say you are not special. You are very special. They envy you because you have a strong personality. A good family, Charms and so many things.

    Don't loose faith in good people just find out what kind of people they are before you get friendly with them. The people who talk sweetly are not always kind people.

    I do like the first part of  you post. About the believe in your self. Now you know your self better and about your family, friends and faith. I don't want you to say that you are fat. You really don't see your self as you are Queen. You might have a few kilos too much but it is not all about that. So many of us have a few kilos too much and I think it is better than many kilos too few. You are a lovely girl and don't forget that.
    The latter part of you post is your shield. Luv.
  • CayenneMan said on Nov 13, 2007....
        queenparanoia , How are you doing today? I just wanted to tell you that I find that Filipino women are amongst the most beautiful women of this world.
        Several years ago, I lived on the water on the east coast (U.S.A.) A Filipino family was  living a few houses down  I knew the daughter of the family and she often came over to shoot pool (things were different back then- weirdos had not arrived yet .) I hope you know what I mean. She was young (about fifteen) and had the blackest hair I have ever seen. I love black hair. I really don't know if her father still lived with them. One morning her and her mother were driving past the front of my house and I whistled (the hey your cute whistle-2 notes) This women was beautiful (the mother) I need you to know I treated her daughter as if she were my own.The whistle was intended for the mother.
               A couple days later the daughter came over to my house and said that I scared her mother by whistling. She said she explained to her mother that I was
     only complimenting the mothers beauty . I just hope she understood because it wasn't long after this incident that they moved.   I worte  this message to you  as a comment to avoid  .  .  .  .
  • Fallyn said on Nov 13, 2007....
    some people can ONLY feel good about themselves when they squish people under their feet.....this is why i didn't have many girlfriends growing up...i couldn't trust them.
    putting other people down seems to make them feel better, prettier, smarter...etc. than they really are.
  • mobil said on Nov 13, 2007....
    I have four daughters Queenie, girls are the worst for back biting. It's just awful and I have no idea why it goes on.
     
    Boys can be assholes, but they don't do the sort of crap you are talking about. Hang in there Queenie, positive, be positive always.
  • queenparanoia said on Nov 13, 2007....

    MsStar39; dont worry i'm ignoring them.. =)

    skald: oh that is so sweet of you dear.. so sorry if my post might sound negative i just have to let out my anger twards hese people.... you are special to me too.. =)

    Cayyeneman: oh i gues they misinterpret it...

     

  • CreativeWoman said on Nov 13, 2007....
    queen,
    Long ago, I took my niece to see that movie Mean Girls.  After it was over, I asked if she knew that we really shouldn't treat people that way.  She said, "Well, duh!"  My point is that you know better too.  You are taking the high road.  That's a very good thing.  I'm proud of you.

    CW
  • queenparanoia said on Nov 13, 2007....

    Creativewoman: thanks CW... =)

  • CreativeWoman said on Nov 13, 2007....
    queen,
    You are welcome.  I meant it.  :-)

    CW
  • Lioness said on Nov 13, 2007....
    bwahaha.... (echoes queen's evil laugh)

    queen, you are more than meets the eye. Your confidence is radiating. Keep it up girl!!


  • dazed_and_confused said on Nov 13, 2007....
    I know what you mean by 'mean girls'. When I was back in high school there were lots of them, remember I went to an exclusive sosyal high school. Thankfully though I don't have friends who stab me in the back.

    I can sense your beautiful aura radiating through my screen. =) Go girl!

    Cheers
  • Fallyn said on Nov 13, 2007....
    girls fight and it escalates....and escalates...and pretty soon you're surprised someone hasn't ended up dead from all the spite.

    guys will just give each other a bloody nose...shake hands and be done with it.
  • wombat said on Nov 13, 2007....
    Once again--you show your inner strength when you are "down" about something, then pull yourself right out with positive thoughts all in one lump sum.  This is one of the things that is special about you!  I need to get a pen and take notes from you! 
     
    This reminds me of something I may have said before--I think I read it in an advice column here (Dear Abby)
     
    A good comeback to people like this.....
     
    "You are not in my audience!"
  • queenparanoia said on Nov 14, 2007....

    CW; that means a lot... =)

    lioness: ate thank you po... =)

    dazed: oh i remember your post abut them dazed!!! ia hate those kind of girls!!! buti na lang hindi tayo ganun!!! =)

    fallyn: youre right about that... shows that girls are more mean... =)

    wombat: wombie!!!!!!!!! i love that!!!!!!!!!!! thanks wombie it means a lot to me... =)

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