Only a few people are reading me, but for those who are, I wanted to say that I took down some of my posts. I suddenly felt very exposed. And it hurt to see those words staring back at me on the screen so I put them in draft mode. Maybe I panicked at the thought of my soul being exposed like that? Maybe I was afraid someone would eventually find me here? I want to stay hidden.....

    Maybe tomorrow I'll change my mind again, and the posts will reappear? I can't seem to make up my mind about anything else, so why should this be any different? But for now, this is my choice. And it's a lot easier than the other choices I have to make, so maybe that's why I did it? To take back some control of my life.

    When I wrote all of those things, I couldn't seem to stop the words that flowed from my fingertips. My soul opened and everything spilled out onto the screen, as if someone else had written it. Like a ghostwriter. It was out of my control. And it felt good. Cathartic. Important. I know I made progress within myself. The writing had a purpose.

    It's like when you're mad at someone, and you want to scream at them and tell them how much you hate them. But you know if you do, you might regret your words later. They might be too painful to ever take back. So you write them a letter. And you say every single nasty thing you ever wanted to tell them. You hold nothing back. And it feels amazing. But you never send it to them. You read it over, you consider what you've said, and then you burn it.

    Your thoughts are released and you're finally free, but the words will never be read again. Because if the person you hated ever saw them, they'd never recover from it. And the person I hate here is me. I can't see the words anymore. My other self wrote them and released them, and the scared guy who was hiding all this time, can't read them now. If he does, he might not ever be able to forgive himself.

    So consider them burned....