VioletEyes's tags:
 
 
If someone you trusted, used your trust to stab you in the back, would you forgive them?
 
We all know we are supposed to forgive and forget, but is that not easier than said? What if someone you trusted used your trust, used it to stab you in the back? Used it to pry into your most private thoughts?
 
Say a close friend did something to you that you considered a gross disrespect for your privacy. On purpose. Would you be able to continue a friendship? Could you forgive them?
 
I suppose more importantly, if you had to make the choice, would you?
 
 


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Comments

  • pickersplock said on Nov 09, 2007....
    I don't think I could forgive something like that!
  • crybabylu said on Nov 09, 2007....
    a lot has to do on perception.  have u confronted this person?
  • VioletEyes said on Nov 09, 2007....
    Yes. They admit that they are in the wrong. And what's worse this picking of my personal thoughts, was all in vain, because I was so open with them. They didn't even learn anything new. And yet they felt they had to decieve me. I don't get it.
  • polarheart said on Nov 09, 2007....
    Yes, if they showed true remorse I would forgive them, but it would take time to rebuild the trust.  If they did not show true remorse I would still forgive them, but distance myself and not have such a deep friendship with them anymore.
  • VioletEyes said on Nov 10, 2007....
    Good advice, I believe he is truly sorry, however he didn't tell me himself, I had to accuse him first. But either way, it will take alot of time.
  • memories said on Nov 15, 2007....
    if you are talking about an ex, i would SAY to them that i forgave them if there were kids involved. never trust them again though. if there are no kids involved, cut all ties with them and tell them to FOSUAD ( fuck off shut up and die)
  • VioletEyes said on Nov 17, 2007....
    LOL Memories. Yes an ex, my child is not his. But I seem to be to nice to do that, although I do agree it could be considered appropriate. He's already started talking to me again, and I'm too polite not to reply..............
  • Mamie said on Dec 26, 2007....
    I'm with Polar on this one...forgive, move on. You can't really forget, ya know?
  • ramiemarston said on Jul 20, 2009....

    It is not uncommon for Christians to have questions about forgiveness. Forgiveness does not come easy for most of us. Our natural instinct is to recoil in self-protection when we've been injured. We don't naturally overflow with mercy, grace and forgiveness when we've been wronged.

    Is forgiveness a conscious choice, a physical act involving the will, or is it a feeling, an emotional state of being? The Bible offers insight and answers to these and many more common questions about forgiveness. We'll take a look at the most common questions and find out what the Bible says about forgiveness.

    Is forgiveness a conscious choice, or an emotional state?

    I believe forgiveness is a choice we make through a decision of our will, motivated by obedience to God and his command to forgive.

    The Bible instructs us to forgive as the Lord forgave us:

      Colossians 3:13
      Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. (NIV)

    How do we forgive when we don't feel like it? How do we translate the decision to forgive into a change of heart?

    We forgive by faith, out of obedience. Since forgiveness goes against our nature, we must forgive by faith, whether we feel like it or not. We must trust God to do the work in us that needs to be done so that the forgiveness will be complete.

    I believe God honors our commitment to obey Him and our desire to please him when we choose to forgive. He completes the work in his time. We must continue to forgive (our job), by faith, until the work of forgiveness (the Lord's job), is done in our hearts.

      Philippians 1:6
      And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns. (NLT)

    How will we know if we have truly forgiven?

    Corrie Ten Boom, a Christian woman who survived a Nazi concentration camp during the Holocaust, said, "Forgiveness is to set a prisoner free, and to realize the prisoner was you."

    We will know the work of forgiveness is complete when we experience the freedom that comes as a result. We are the ones who suffer most when we choose not to forgive. When we do forgive, the Lord sets our hearts free from the anger, bitterness, resentment and hurt that previously imprisoned us.

    Most times, however, forgiveness is a slow process.

      Matthew 18:21-22
      Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?" Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times. (NIV)
    This answer by Jesus makes it clear that forgiveness is not easy for us. It's not a one-time choice and then we automatically live in a state of forgiveness. Forgiveness may require a lifetime of forgiving, but it is important to the Lord. We must continue forgiving until the matter is settled in our heart.

    What if the person we need to forgive is not a believer?

    I have found that prayer is one of the best ways to break down the wall of un-forgiveness in my heart. When I begin to pray for the person who has wronged me, God begins to give me new eyes to see that person and a new heart to care for that person. As I pray I begin to see that person as God sees them, and I realize that person is precious to the Lord. I also see myself in a new light, just as guilty of sin and failure as the other person. I too am in need of forgiveness. If God did not withhold his forgiveness from me, why should I withhold my forgiveness from another?

    Is it okay to feel anger and want justice for the person we need to forgive?

    This question presents another reason to pray for the person we need to forgive. We can pray for God to deal with the injustices, for God to judge the person's life, and then we can leave that prayer at the altar. We no longer have to carry the anger. Although it is normal for us to feel anger toward sin and injustice, it is not our job to judge the other person in their sin.
      Luke 6:37
      Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. (NIV)

    Why must we forgive?

    The best reason to forgive is because Jesus commanded us to forgive. We learn from Scripture, if we don't forgive, neither will we be forgiven:
      Matthew 6:14-16
      For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. (NIV)
    We also forgive so that our prayers will not be hindered:
      Mark 11:25
      And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins. (NIV)
    In summary and in closing, we forgive out of obedience to the Lord. It is a choice, a decision we make. However, as we do this "forgiving," we discover the command is in place for our own good, and we receive the reward of our forgiveness - freedom.
  • anonymous said on Aug 14, 2009....
    Forgive someone who screwed you over? Nope. Same for those who steal from friends. Nope. God gets to forgive them, I don't. The progress I make is not to hold others responsible for someone else's mistake. I still have the ability to extend trust, love, compassion, etc. It's when holding a grudge against a specific person interferes with your ability to forge new connections that you've got a problem. Forgiveness is only part of the equation. You still have to be able to move on. Then there is the flip side, where the one that is never forgiven has no conception of the value of connections and destroys them while repeating the same patterns. Ramie Marston was convicted of STEALING from her employees and lying to and stealing from her friends. Ask THEM if they subscribe to her doctrine of forgiveness. I think not!
  • anonymous said on Oct 02, 2009....
    Agreed anonymous! Ramie Marston is the lowest form of life on this planet. I find it very amusing she called herself a christian, when she "found God" simply to inflict pain and suffering on others. God is forgiving yes but I believe the saying goes.."do unto others.." that is exactly what is happening to her now and unfortunatly I believes she deserves everything she gets. After ruining countless lives in numerous states her nasty game finally caught up with her, ironically at her own hand. Play the system and it will catch up with you eventually. Thank God it did. I recently found out she duped yet another man into marriage, I believe that brings us somewhere near 8 or 9. Poor fellow he had no idea what he was in for. As well she was just arrested for stealing from her employer (see seacoastonline.com). This caused the buisness to fold. All of this after she plead guilty identity fraud weeks earlier. I hope they throw the proverbial book at her! See you in 20-35 years Ramie!
  • Ivorywitch said on Oct 02, 2009....
    I am married to the father of her two boys. It's so sad to see such a good dad (he had custody of his two older boys, now grown) be deprived of the opportunity to be a father to his own sons. She's only taken money from others, she's taken time from them...all of them, the boys, their brothers, and time as a family by moving them all over the country, from TN to NC to CA to NV to UT and now to NH and ME. She only moved up there because her current last name was so prevalent...apparently she wanted to be thought a member of a prestigious family. I'd be interested in any info on the boys if you don't think that's out of line. Their father is desperate to know exactly where they are. We don't even have the court ordered physical address. the child support goes through the state and goes straight to a prepaid visa account.
  • Ivorywitch said on Oct 02, 2009....

  • anonymous said on Oct 04, 2009....
    Ivorywitch, as far as I know she was arrested on mon 9/28/09 and is being held in Strafford county jail (NH) According to court documents she was living in Kittery ME (which is literaly just over the NH boarder) with the new husband (David Sullivan) and his son. I don't know if he has the kids or they were taken by DCPS. You should try and contact US Postal Inspector Al Rubega as he was the one in charge of her federal case. I hope this helps. I'm sure those boys could really use their dad right now.
  • Ivorywitch said on Oct 04, 2009....
    Thanks, Mr. Rubega is not returning phone calls it seems.  We did contact the Kittery police but still could not get an address....which is what we have to have in order to file for emergency temporary custody.  We're not certain it would be best, but we're certainly here if the woman has managed to truly screw up and goes for a long time.  He wants so badly to have a relationship with his sons.  It seems one must be loaded or mortgage the house and clean out the 401k to play ball in court.   It's just wrong...what do you support children with when the lawyers are done?
  • anonymous said 2 days ago....
    Ramie Marston is lowest of low!!! I have no forgiveness for this person! She should rot in hell and stay in jail where she is now. she has totally screwed up her 2 boys heads! I feel so bad for her boys. they need haircuts, clothes etc. I truly despise this ugly woman!! and she IS ugly. I hope she is getting beat up on a daily basis in jail. that poor husband of hers - david sullivan, got conned into marrying her and now has to take care of her kids and from what I heard, he is another piece of work. Ramie has ruined so many peoples lives it is not funny, how dare she comment on forgiveness?
  • Ivorywitch said 2 days ago....
    If you feel charitable enough to help them, we could use some further information. Please call 865-405-8164 and leave a message. If your number is blocked it won't be answered, so a message is the only way we could connect. Thank you for posting. You will never know just how important small details have been.
  • anonymous said about 5 hours ago....
    what is your email?
  • anonymous said about 5 hours ago....
    sorry, I am just another victim of hers and very cautious about people now, for all I Know, you both could be in cahoots. Dont the boys have diff dads also? If u are for real, I would love for you to get custody of them, maybe then they would be shown real love

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Can you trust a referral based on gut, not experience?...
Well...the last post was just me rambling and lamenting a bit.

Thanks everyone for your comments and suggestions. I like the idea of a supportive community.

But I wasn't really clear about what my goal is with submission. W...
Teacher hitting on me and my boyfriend blaming me for it....