The Illusion Appears To Be A Mirage
Well, I finally had that date with the "Optical Illusion" seen outside of LensCrafters Optical Center, a few weeks ago.
I met him on the Sunday before Halloween as I was exiting LensCrafters, when he invited me to dinner and offered me his phone number. He, of course, asked for mine, which I didn't share at the time, but I did promise to call, in only to acknowledge his invitation, even if I did not accept it.
I thought about whether or not I wanted to pursue this... He wasn't my type, so I wasn't immediately attracted to him, but that never stopped me from forming some type of relationship with people in the past.
I decided, "Why Not?"
"Mr. Optical Illusion" Flakes Out
I waited until the Thursday after Halloween before calling him. We talked and had a pleasant conversation, and we agreed to meet the coming Saturday (a week ago at this publishing). I recognized a few personal preference red flags that might suggest he and I wouldn't be compatible, but nothing overt to nip it so soon. He was 43, a good ballpark age for me. I thought, maybe I'd make a friendship out of it if nothing else. He also repeatedly made references to his newly revived Christian faith.
The next Friday night, he called, and I briefly spoke with him, but my roommate had informed me that she'd invited several of our coworkers over to socialize, so we were in a mad dash to clean up the place before they arrived. I asked "Mr. Optical Illusion" if he minded my saying good night for now but asked him what plans he had for our Saturday date? He said he would call me Saturday afternoon to make the arrangements for our date, but asked if I could call after our guests left. I told him I wasn't sure how late we would be entertaining, but if I could, I would try to call him back. The guests didn't leave until 1 a.m. and I was tired. I didn't call him, but still expected to hear from him for our date Saturday night.
He never called. Instead I got a call from my old standby FWB who was in town, and enjoyed a very pleasant evening with him.
"Mr. Optical Illusion" Attempts Redemption
Sunday night, at a quarter to midnight, "Mr. Optical Illusion" finally called. He informed me he was driving home from church. I was already dozing, and tried to keep it short, but asked why I never called him. I reminded him it was he who was supposed to call Saturday and that I never promised I would call after our guests left. I said if I could, I would.
It was clear he thought the reason I didn't call was that I might disturb him by calling at such a late hour and he reassured me he was awake waiting for my call. Did it occur to him that "I might not be awake enough to hold a conversation at that hour?" and told him so. I ended the conversation, giving him a second chance for the following Saturday night, and informed him that my boss would be in town all week and that I may not be available much if at all until she left at week's end.
What did he do? First thing Monday, he called me right in the middle of our very busy workday. I reminded him of my boss' week-long visit and asked if he could hold the calls until Friday after she left and work was over.... 6 p.m. should work.
Mind you, the red flag tally was mounting. Now, it's only the third conversation that lasted less than 10 mins that I had with him, and he was already making comments like, "Mmm... I really love hearing your sexy voice... I'll be dreaming about you when I sleep tonight baby. Will you be dreaming about me?"
"No. I don't know you." I'm really thinking I should just blow this guy off, but I promised a second chance. It's not that others haven't used language like that on me before, but not before some level of familiarity had been established. This guy seemed to be revving from 0 to 60 mph in no time.
Friday night came, I spoke with him long enough to determine the arrangements for our Saturday night date. He wanted me to pick him up at his place. In past conversations, he purported to be an actor, and with the Writers Guild of America strike making work for him slow, I was sensitive to this and agreed.
Traffic and a few accidents made me late, but I stayed in contact by phone. When I arrived, parking was a nightmare, so I called to let him know I was there, and asked if there was some special place I was to park. He rushed right down to help.
Thinking he would just point me in the right direction, I asked again where I should park. Instead he wanted to jump in the car with me to find a parking spot. Clearly it will be a hunt, and I suggested since he's already in the car, that we just go and not bother parking. (I had intended on driving to the restaurant location, again sensitive to his slow work week resulting in an assumed monetary reduction.)
He looked at me perplexed and repeated that he'd help me find a parking spot. I reiterated that I didn't mind driving to the restaurant and that I REALLY didn't want to wage war to find a parking spot right then. It was more practical to just go from his drive way. He made some excuse that his wallet or something of need was still in the apartment and he'd have to go up and retrieve it. "I said fine, I'll wait."
Again, he pressured me to park and go up with him. He wanted to drive. I acquiesced. It took nearly 30 minutes to find a spot some four blocks away. I am in fairly comfortable heels, but heels none-the-less. Not fun. The walk back to his place, he immediately grabs my hand and holds it. No subtle brush against it to test my willingness. No polite, "May I hold your hand?" Just a very clumsy grab. Soon after, he releases his hand only to wrap it tightly around my waist and yank me closer, again not so subtle or smooth.
Misinterpretations Or Mis-Intentions?
During this stage of any new interaction, often one or both parties don't want to misinterpret any actions and will yield in lieu of confrontation or impoliteness. I'm from the south and I'm always polite and try not to assume anything. At that stage, he mostly seemed eager and excited I was going out with him, even if my body language clearly showed I wasn't as sure of the evening as he was.
A very tiny studio apartment, I remained standing very near the door while I waited for him to retrieve his things. We walked down to his car, and for a moment, I noticed some glimmer of expectation in his expression. He actually wanted me to be impressed with the fact that he drove a Mercedes convertible -- A very OLD Mercedes convertible. I showed no reaction other than to thank him for opening my door.
In my mind, I'm recalling his insistence at my parking and coming up. I wondered why it was such a big deal, and now I'm thinking the entire ploy was a means to impress me with his Mercedes. I am assuming his intention here and may be wrong, but if so, I wasn't impressed.
He had the radio tuned to some rap music. Sincerely interested in learning more about him, I asked what music he liked most, expecting him to light up and share. Instead, he says, "Oh, I'm going to find something more suitable. Don't worry." Huh?
Again, I asked.... "Well, that's fine, but I'm still interested in what type of music you like?" Again, he replies with a non-answer answer. "This will be pleasant. Don't worry." Care to venture a guess at his selection? Seduction music!
Soon, we arrive to an Italian place on a very busy Sunset Blvd. Most establishments on this very trendy, touristy spot can be pricey, and before we entered, I flashed on his modest studio apartment, remembered his mentioning work was slow, and offered him an understanding out to go to a more affordable establishment. He assured me it was not a problem and just after we parked, he leaned in and tried to give me a very active tongue kiss. I turned my cheek towards his mouth in time for him to retract the writhing appendage and switch to a peck.
We went inside. It didn't go better there either. He berated the waitress, was irritable and either silent or monosyllabic despite my attempts to make conversation. I did manage to get him to answer what he likes to read: The Bible.
Dinner was good, and turns out not all that expensive. We finished around 9:45 p.m. I thought he might have intended for us to walk along Sunset Blvd. following dinner, but instead, as soon as we got the check, he made a mad dash for the car. Thinking he had some movie planned, or other activity to fill the remainder of the evening, I didn't second guess this.
He walked around to my side to unlock the door, and instead, caught me off guard with both a quick yank around my waist to pull me in tight to his chest, and another attempt at a kiss. This time I was less prepared and was assaulted with that writhing appendage of a tongue. Not wanting to be impolite, I modestly kissed him back with lips mostly closed in an attempt to cage that tongue of his back into his teeth.
Octopus Hands Abound
We got into the car, thinking we were headed to part two of the evening. Soon, his hand was on mine and wandering within the general thigh region. Throughout the entire drive, I'm battling his hand placements when I notice the streets near his apartment and asked him where we were going? Were we going to a movie or some coffee shop? No, back to his apartment.
Envisioning the struggle against his octopus hands, I ask if he didn't want to do something else before the evening ended. (Trying to imply that arrival to his place WOULD INDEED end the date.)
Him: "Well, I thought we'd just go up for a few minutes to talk." (YEAH RIGHT?)
Me: "Are you sure you don't want to run get coffee or something?"
Him: "We're only going up for just a few minutes."
Me: "Look, chalk it up to my morality, but I really don't want to put myself in any position for temptation up there. I'm sure you will be a perfect gentleman, but it's only our first date. I don't mind going somewhere else to talk more, but I'm not interested in anything physical at this stage."
Him: "It's only for just a few minutes." (YEAH RIGHT!)
Me: "Let's just call it a night and we can make plans to do something more social some other time. Please take me to my car."
He protested a bit more, then drove the four blocks away to where my car was parked. I explained why I didn't want to move so fast, and asked that he respect that.
Him: "Oh I respect you." (NOT!)
R-E-S-P-E-C-T: Find Out What It Means To Me!
I gave him a window for a brief goodnight kiss. I'm sure he thought he'd go for broke and began extremely aggressive attempts to make out again with that snaking tongue, those octopus hands, et al. Now, he didn't care. He's trying to cup my breast, reach between my thighs, and even reach into my blouse and bra for flesh!
"You are most certainly NOT respecting me!" I push him away and jump out of the car as quickly as possible in that tiny low convertible. As I'm exiting, he grabs my ass! As I get into my own car, I feel something poking my back. I reach back to discover he's UNDONE TWO OF MY BRA HOOKS! Some Born-Again Christian!
The hilarious part -- "Mr. Optical Illusion" called me again today while I was writing this post. I didn't answer and he didn't leave a message! Good riddance, "Mr. Mirage".
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Well, I finally had that date with the "Optical Illusion" seen outside of LensCrafters Optical Center, a few weeks ago.
I met him on the Sunday before Halloween as I was exiting LensCrafters, when he invited me to dinner and offered me his phone number. He, of course, asked for mine, which I didn't share at the time, but I did promise to call, in only to acknowledge his invitation, even if I did not accept it.
I thought about whether or not I wanted to pursue this... He wasn't my type, so I wasn't immediately attracted to him, but that never stopped me from forming some type of relationship with people in the past.
I decided, "Why Not?"
"Mr. Optical Illusion" Flakes Out
I waited until the Thursday after Halloween before calling him. We talked and had a pleasant conversation, and we agreed to meet the coming Saturday (a week ago at this publishing). I recognized a few personal preference red flags that might suggest he and I wouldn't be compatible, but nothing overt to nip it so soon. He was 43, a good ballpark age for me. I thought, maybe I'd make a friendship out of it if nothing else. He also repeatedly made references to his newly revived Christian faith.
The next Friday night, he called, and I briefly spoke with him, but my roommate had informed me that she'd invited several of our coworkers over to socialize, so we were in a mad dash to clean up the place before they arrived. I asked "Mr. Optical Illusion" if he minded my saying good night for now but asked him what plans he had for our Saturday date? He said he would call me Saturday afternoon to make the arrangements for our date, but asked if I could call after our guests left. I told him I wasn't sure how late we would be entertaining, but if I could, I would try to call him back. The guests didn't leave until 1 a.m. and I was tired. I didn't call him, but still expected to hear from him for our date Saturday night.
He never called. Instead I got a call from my old standby FWB who was in town, and enjoyed a very pleasant evening with him.
"Mr. Optical Illusion" Attempts Redemption
Sunday night, at a quarter to midnight, "Mr. Optical Illusion" finally called. He informed me he was driving home from church. I was already dozing, and tried to keep it short, but asked why I never called him. I reminded him it was he who was supposed to call Saturday and that I never promised I would call after our guests left. I said if I could, I would.
It was clear he thought the reason I didn't call was that I might disturb him by calling at such a late hour and he reassured me he was awake waiting for my call. Did it occur to him that "I might not be awake enough to hold a conversation at that hour?" and told him so. I ended the conversation, giving him a second chance for the following Saturday night, and informed him that my boss would be in town all week and that I may not be available much if at all until she left at week's end.
What did he do? First thing Monday, he called me right in the middle of our very busy workday. I reminded him of my boss' week-long visit and asked if he could hold the calls until Friday after she left and work was over.... 6 p.m. should work.
Mind you, the red flag tally was mounting. Now, it's only the third conversation that lasted less than 10 mins that I had with him, and he was already making comments like, "Mmm... I really love hearing your sexy voice... I'll be dreaming about you when I sleep tonight baby. Will you be dreaming about me?"
"No. I don't know you." I'm really thinking I should just blow this guy off, but I promised a second chance. It's not that others haven't used language like that on me before, but not before some level of familiarity had been established. This guy seemed to be revving from 0 to 60 mph in no time.
Friday night came, I spoke with him long enough to determine the arrangements for our Saturday night date. He wanted me to pick him up at his place. In past conversations, he purported to be an actor, and with the Writers Guild of America strike making work for him slow, I was sensitive to this and agreed.
Traffic and a few accidents made me late, but I stayed in contact by phone. When I arrived, parking was a nightmare, so I called to let him know I was there, and asked if there was some special place I was to park. He rushed right down to help.
Thinking he would just point me in the right direction, I asked again where I should park. Instead he wanted to jump in the car with me to find a parking spot. Clearly it will be a hunt, and I suggested since he's already in the car, that we just go and not bother parking. (I had intended on driving to the restaurant location, again sensitive to his slow work week resulting in an assumed monetary reduction.)
He looked at me perplexed and repeated that he'd help me find a parking spot. I reiterated that I didn't mind driving to the restaurant and that I REALLY didn't want to wage war to find a parking spot right then. It was more practical to just go from his drive way. He made some excuse that his wallet or something of need was still in the apartment and he'd have to go up and retrieve it. "I said fine, I'll wait."
Again, he pressured me to park and go up with him. He wanted to drive. I acquiesced. It took nearly 30 minutes to find a spot some four blocks away. I am in fairly comfortable heels, but heels none-the-less. Not fun. The walk back to his place, he immediately grabs my hand and holds it. No subtle brush against it to test my willingness. No polite, "May I hold your hand?" Just a very clumsy grab. Soon after, he releases his hand only to wrap it tightly around my waist and yank me closer, again not so subtle or smooth.
Misinterpretations Or Mis-Intentions?
During this stage of any new interaction, often one or both parties don't want to misinterpret any actions and will yield in lieu of confrontation or impoliteness. I'm from the south and I'm always polite and try not to assume anything. At that stage, he mostly seemed eager and excited I was going out with him, even if my body language clearly showed I wasn't as sure of the evening as he was.
A very tiny studio apartment, I remained standing very near the door while I waited for him to retrieve his things. We walked down to his car, and for a moment, I noticed some glimmer of expectation in his expression. He actually wanted me to be impressed with the fact that he drove a Mercedes convertible -- A very OLD Mercedes convertible. I showed no reaction other than to thank him for opening my door.
In my mind, I'm recalling his insistence at my parking and coming up. I wondered why it was such a big deal, and now I'm thinking the entire ploy was a means to impress me with his Mercedes. I am assuming his intention here and may be wrong, but if so, I wasn't impressed.
He had the radio tuned to some rap music. Sincerely interested in learning more about him, I asked what music he liked most, expecting him to light up and share. Instead, he says, "Oh, I'm going to find something more suitable. Don't worry." Huh?
Again, I asked.... "Well, that's fine, but I'm still interested in what type of music you like?" Again, he replies with a non-answer answer. "This will be pleasant. Don't worry." Care to venture a guess at his selection? Seduction music!
Soon, we arrive to an Italian place on a very busy Sunset Blvd. Most establishments on this very trendy, touristy spot can be pricey, and before we entered, I flashed on his modest studio apartment, remembered his mentioning work was slow, and offered him an understanding out to go to a more affordable establishment. He assured me it was not a problem and just after we parked, he leaned in and tried to give me a very active tongue kiss. I turned my cheek towards his mouth in time for him to retract the writhing appendage and switch to a peck.
We went inside. It didn't go better there either. He berated the waitress, was irritable and either silent or monosyllabic despite my attempts to make conversation. I did manage to get him to answer what he likes to read: The Bible.
Dinner was good, and turns out not all that expensive. We finished around 9:45 p.m. I thought he might have intended for us to walk along Sunset Blvd. following dinner, but instead, as soon as we got the check, he made a mad dash for the car. Thinking he had some movie planned, or other activity to fill the remainder of the evening, I didn't second guess this.
He walked around to my side to unlock the door, and instead, caught me off guard with both a quick yank around my waist to pull me in tight to his chest, and another attempt at a kiss. This time I was less prepared and was assaulted with that writhing appendage of a tongue. Not wanting to be impolite, I modestly kissed him back with lips mostly closed in an attempt to cage that tongue of his back into his teeth.
Octopus Hands Abound
We got into the car, thinking we were headed to part two of the evening. Soon, his hand was on mine and wandering within the general thigh region. Throughout the entire drive, I'm battling his hand placements when I notice the streets near his apartment and asked him where we were going? Were we going to a movie or some coffee shop? No, back to his apartment.
Envisioning the struggle against his octopus hands, I ask if he didn't want to do something else before the evening ended. (Trying to imply that arrival to his place WOULD INDEED end the date.)
Him: "Well, I thought we'd just go up for a few minutes to talk." (YEAH RIGHT?)
Me: "Are you sure you don't want to run get coffee or something?"
Him: "We're only going up for just a few minutes."
Me: "Look, chalk it up to my morality, but I really don't want to put myself in any position for temptation up there. I'm sure you will be a perfect gentleman, but it's only our first date. I don't mind going somewhere else to talk more, but I'm not interested in anything physical at this stage."
Him: "It's only for just a few minutes." (YEAH RIGHT!)
Me: "Let's just call it a night and we can make plans to do something more social some other time. Please take me to my car."
He protested a bit more, then drove the four blocks away to where my car was parked. I explained why I didn't want to move so fast, and asked that he respect that.
Him: "Oh I respect you." (NOT!)
R-E-S-P-E-C-T: Find Out What It Means To Me!
I gave him a window for a brief goodnight kiss. I'm sure he thought he'd go for broke and began extremely aggressive attempts to make out again with that snaking tongue, those octopus hands, et al. Now, he didn't care. He's trying to cup my breast, reach between my thighs, and even reach into my blouse and bra for flesh!
"You are most certainly NOT respecting me!" I push him away and jump out of the car as quickly as possible in that tiny low convertible. As I'm exiting, he grabs my ass! As I get into my own car, I feel something poking my back. I reach back to discover he's UNDONE TWO OF MY BRA HOOKS! Some Born-Again Christian!
The hilarious part -- "Mr. Optical Illusion" called me again today while I was writing this post. I didn't answer and he didn't leave a message! Good riddance, "Mr. Mirage".
