luci-fur's tags:

fog's flooding agony
descends upon the victim
smothering the exits 
momentarily paralysing movement
dense heat engulfs 
swallowing precious air 
stifling breaths
and erupting implosions of hopelessness 
and tortuous panic

gasping for a moment's reprieve
searching for a pill, a switch, a prayer
any fucking remedy
while outside, the world basks
in the glorious sun....
laughing, playing, delighting in
the sweet lightness of dancing bubbles of joy
....oblivious.

(the torturous tears of oblivious)

the world passes by
some scurry across the roof of the fog
by mistake
holding in their brightly coloured beachbag's
a delightful array of 
appropriate words of distaste for the sticky heat
they feel under their havanahs
backing out 
in case the fog 
stains their perfection 

welcome to the repulsive truth on repeat.








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Comments

  • crybabylu said on Nov 05, 2007....
    sounds a lot like fog.
  • silverwhisper said on Nov 05, 2007....
    you know, that last stanza surprised me with its naked hostility towards happiness, luci-fer. are you all right?

    ed
  • luci-fur said on Nov 05, 2007....
    hi there,

    yeah, i'm ok. i promise, i don't  go around scowling and lashing out at happy people.  Yes you're right though, sometimes i am quietly resentful of people who's life has been beautiful with lots of automatic loving, hugs etc. my issue. 

    this poem was painting a picture of these inner feelings i have deep down. How one person could be experiencing or re-experiencing the pain of (eg) rejection or severe deprivation, and no one else in the world is aware of it. That person in that moment is isolated and alone, disconnected, unable to reach out, unable to even know how to reach out, perceiving that if they did they'd get more knock backs anyway, knowing that most people do not have the ability or inclination to understand because most people don't experience what they have experienced. and no one (i can guarantee this to you) is interested in 'hearing' or 'listening' to the people who suffer like that. if they did understand, there's that little somethng that stops most people from intruding anyway. So that person in that blackness is truly alone. Well that's been my experience anyway.    And yes, it's up to that person now they are older to pull their socks up and get on with it. I understand that more than anyone. But the feelings are  often still there and get triggered by people. And what to do when they are. i dunno. i'm still working on that one. my still horrible tendency is to hate with as much force as i can muster. but i know this is not the answer of course. it's the worst scenario. it's just knee-jerk. but i'm working on it.

    thanks i like your comments, they make me think.
    luci. 
  • Fallyn said on Nov 06, 2007....
    imagery i have often lived with in my own head.......thankyou luci fer for expressing it so vividly.

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It is harder to share pain than it is joy. Sometime with the help of friends and family, we endure our pains. But sometimes we have to stand alone. But if you maintain a postive outlook and endure cheerfully, we will find more company along the way....

And

and...
I suppose, anyway, just quit looking at my coffee ... that'll get you into trouble and you don't want trouble....
uggghh...
for my love....