One thing i have realized from posting , and from the comments ive received, is that this whole thing is much more complex than i realized.
I have had more conversations with my husband. This whole thing is bringing us closer together.
I have realized that I do not like secrecy, especially when it is my own secrecy.
I am realizing that i am uncomfortable keeping a secret. Yes, he gave me permission, and yes, i took advantage of that permission. He did say he did not want to know, but I dont like how that feels.
Anyway, we had this long talk about it. I didnt have to tell him. He knew. He could tell.
He knows me too well.
Thankfully, he is not upset at all. He is fair above all else, he said he realizes he cant blame me for doing something he gave me permission to do. His only concern was my emotional involvement ... once assured that i was not having an ongoing affair, he was fine.
he had a myriad of emotions about that, sort of a combination of jealousy, hurt and lust.
He wanted some details, which i gave him.
He was rather aroused by that. I was worried that he might get hurt, but he doesnt seem to be at all. He realizes that i love him and that any sex i might have was just recreational in nature.
Now he didnt want tons of details, just enough to get an idea of what happened.
We do agree that I did not have an affair, i did not cheat on him.
actually the thought of me with someone else got him very excited and he and i had a pretty nice time together :)
lisamay posted on Nov 04, 2007
| views: 1570
Comments
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silverwhisper said on Nov 04, 2007....
lisamay, i'm glad to read this. :>
i'll confess, increasingly i wonder if at some point he isn't going to want to surreptitiously witness an encounter you have with a lover. it's a common fantasy among men who become excited at the idea of their wives being with another man.
but the most important thing IMV is that you aren't keeping secrets from him and that he reiterated that you are free to go on doing this if you wish to do so.
ed -
lisamay said on Nov 04, 2007....
Thanks ed
i think you are right on both counts.
i have read many places, that many men do fantasize about their wives with others, and fantasize about watching. So ... time will tell i guess.
and yes, no secrets,i dont have any plans to do anything at the moment, but i do really like it that i have the freedom. maybe just having the freedom ... is enough ?
i do appreciate the responses i have gotten.
lisa -
Eilan said on Nov 04, 2007....
It's good that the two of you are communicating.
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Fallyn said on Nov 07, 2007....
i think communication is of the utmost importance...without it....things just drift and drift. -
seer said on Nov 26, 2007....
yeah try and let it out man. My girlfriend and I have just realised we're both about as sordid and kinky as each other and our relationship has grown immencely due to the taking down of a barrier. Plus, our sex life is out of this world now too!
Comment on "long talks about sex"
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