• uniquely-ironic said on Nov 04, 2007....

  I guess I would just question why you would do anything other than innocent flirting (like paying a sincere compliment) if you were really happy.  I think in RL and online that people do common flirting, that is meant to be nothing more than a very nice gesture to acknowledge that the other person truly is funny, cute, etc.  with no hope of returned flirting.  Letting it get out of hand could turn out to be a big mistake so I think it needs to be watched.

• destinydiva said on Nov 04, 2007....

  I think online flirting is harmless

• Mr_Box said on Nov 04, 2007....

  That's kind of what I'm talking about. Innocent flirting. Nothing out of control.

  Personally I get enjoyment from harmless flirting on the internet because I know it means nothing. If I tell a girl I think she's hot it's because I think she's hot.

  But I'd also be less likely to blurt that out if I wasn't online. Or if my wife was standing next to me.

  It still wouldn't mean I wasn't happy though. It would just mean I'm not dead and have eyes.

• Mr_Box said on Nov 04, 2007....

  Miss Diva....you posted when I wasn't looking.

  Thanks for your opinion. Do you flirt online?

• pickersplock said on Nov 04, 2007....

  I've said it before and I'll say it again, "never do anything online, you wouldn't do in your own front yard".

• uniquely-ironic said on Nov 04, 2007....

  I am usually more cautious online than in person.  You can't look a monitor in the eye and get the same feedback that you get from a person.  I enjoy a little harmless flirting, but don't want to have someone take it for more than that.
   
  When I first got married. (in the stone age) My cousin was appauled that I said something about how cute this guy we saw was.  It was a simple observation, I didn't even speak to the guy.  So, obviously other don't think harmless flirting or boy/girl watching is harmless.
   
  Me, I enjoy the banter.

• Mr_Box said on Nov 04, 2007....

  Ms. Plock......so then I guess you don't flirt in your front yard either.

• Mr_Box said on Nov 04, 2007....

  Miss Ironic......some people are overly sensitive about casual observations like that. My wife is cool though. For the most part.

  I don't get pissed if she thinks another guy is hot. And she doesn't beat me over the head if I notice another woman.

  But it's not as if I go out of my way to point out to her all the sexy chicks I come across every day. I work with models. They're hot. But I don't run home and describe them to my wife.

  I enjoy the banter too. To me, it's just fun. Hopefully nothing I say to anyone will be taken for more than it's worth.

• pickersplock said on Nov 04, 2007....

  Oh, D6fer tries to flirt with me all the time, but I just "put him in his place"!
  Hence the nickname, D6perv!
   
   
   

• Mr_Box said on Nov 04, 2007....

  Ms. Plock.....I'm not familiar with D6perv.

  But I will not try and flirt with you so I don't have to feel your wrath too. You sexy thing, you.

  Oops. I better duck and cover.

• pickersplock said on Nov 04, 2007....

  I, sir, am a lady!
  You, sir, are a first class cad!!!!!!

• Mr_Box said on Nov 04, 2007....

  My apologies, m'lady. I shall punish myself severely for disgracing you with my presence.

  [hangs head in shame]

• pickersplock said on Nov 04, 2007....

  You should be ashamed of yourself, you are a bad boy!

• Mr_Box said on Nov 04, 2007....

  I am a bad boy. A very bad boy....

  Hmm. I better shut up because this sounds like flirting too.

• evil_twin said on Nov 04, 2007....

  There is no good way for me to answer this without getting myself into trouble! I think that it depends on what type of flirting you mean. Telling someone they're hot isn't necessarily flirting. It's an observation and a compliment. But if you tell them they're hot and you'd like to see them naked, then perhaps you've crossed a line?
  
  I do think that most online flirting is harmless though. Especially if you keep it casual and don't start getting out of hand. Me, I sometimes go for a joke that could be taken as suggestive. But I'm really just trying to be funny. I have to watch myself sometimes.
  
  -Kyle
  

• Mr_Box said on Nov 04, 2007....

  Dude, you do have a tendency sometimes to go for the funny without thinking. I haven't seen you do it here because I haven't been here long enough.

  But in person, you come off as a huge flirt. You don't think you are, but you are. Girls follow you around like puppy dogs and your ass is made of dog treats.

  Of course this was before Natty. I'm sure you don't do that anymore. You guys are always together anyway.

  Except for at Starbucks when you seemed to have gained the affections of a certain gay coffee maker...

  [chuckles]

   

• uniquely-ironic said on Nov 04, 2007....

  ET - Do you think?! (hot and see them naked line)  LOL  I agree that making a simple observation is cool as well as the casual flirt.  Funny can save your ass when there's a question as to whether or not it was too much.

• evil_twin said on Nov 04, 2007....

  Uniquely, I was being sarcastic about that line! See, my humor sometimes doesn't come out right. Not online. I need a sarcasm font....but you're right that going with funny can sometimes save you when you're not sure what a person meant by what they said. That's happened to me a few times online, and I just pretend they're joking because it's easier that way!
  
  Jack, my ass is not made of dog treats. You're exaggerating! And it's not my fault the gay dude likes my sexy ass. I certainly didn't flirt with him!
  
  -Kyle
  

• Twylarants said on Nov 04, 2007....

  Mr Box- Would you mind if your wife flirted online?  Bear in mind how dangerous she can be if there are flammables nearby.

• Mr_Box said on Nov 04, 2007....

  I hope you weren't flirting with the coffee guy, Kyle. That would be a new one.

  Twyla......I don't know how I'd feel. I'm sure she does it. She has a My Space account and sometimes the comments she gets are definitely flirtatious.

  I guess I just have a healthy attitude about it. As long as things are kept clean, I think harmless flirting online can boost your self esteem and make you feel happier.

   

   

• silverwhisper said on Nov 04, 2007....

  i don't do it b/c i feel it's inappropriate. face to face, you know how these things are being rec'd: online is a whole different ball of wax.
  
  i try not to say things that would give my wife cause for concern were she made aware of them.
  
  ed

• Mr_Box said on Nov 04, 2007....

  You're a good man, Ed. I think you're smart.

  I may say some things that are flirty in nature, but I've never crossed any lines that I'm aware of. If my wife found out, I don't think she'd be threatened.

  I'm simply playful and I mean no harm. I think she gets that.

• nursecutie said on Nov 04, 2007....

  Kyle's ass is made of dog treats!!! LOL! I might have to agree with that though......I sure thought so when I met him! ;)

  I don't flirt with anyone online.......no one flirts with me either! Except for Kyle, but we are allowed to flirt w/each other. That's different. But I do think that saying someone is hot is not always flirting. It could just be that you are saying something nice to them.......

  And Kyle I have not ever seen you say anything to anyone here that would bother me. I think you are a good boy! And I always know when you are joking around.......

  xxoo natalie xxoo

• evil_twin said on Nov 04, 2007....

  Nat, I'm glad you can tell when I'm joking around. And you noticed the dog treats, huh? I just think that sounds funny. But I'm glad that my ass made an impression on you! It looked a lot better than my face when we first met, that's for sure.
  
  -Kyle
  
  PS: You're hot! :-P
  

• kelly said on Nov 04, 2007....

  silverwhisper: bingo

• nursecutie said on Nov 04, 2007....

  *giggles*

  You are hot too, Kyle!!!!

  xxoo natalie xxoo

• gingersoul said on Nov 04, 2007....

  Mr.Box.....i am an online flirter and i like receiving flirting comments...sometimes i dont even realize i have been that flirty (like Kyle said) because i can be very friendly even if i know you by few seconds....it comes back to the 'clicking" thing we were talking about yesterday.....this happens also in RL.....

  but i don't flirt with everybody......and....i dont like to receive flirty comments from anybody i dont like.

  I think online flirting is a lot safer than in RL......in RL you can start flirting with someone and then discover that person is a professional cheater or a trouble maker or a low self esteem suffering soul...its more complicated in RL...

  Online you have only words...that can be written or not written, answered or not answered...its alot easier deleting comments, avoiding hints, not going to their posts ....and so on....

  About the feeling of cheating.....no, you are not...its actually healthy, funny, stress relieving.....BUT if you start to chase that person , waiting for their comments, feeling excited in seeing their names, having fantasies of meeting them .well..we are already on a different level....the online crushes can develop in wonderful relationships, usully deep friendships....

  If you are already in a relationhip you have to know your own boundaries and respect them...not because online flirting is bad per se but because it can be dangerous.....very dangerous.

  In RL what i am jealous of the most is intimacy....you can have a one night sex ..i forgive you...but if you share intimacy with that person troubles arise....in virtual life its the same.......online flirting can lead to a more relaxed communication  ...that leads to a more deep sharing of thoughts and feelings..that can lead to develop affections.....this is the danger i am talking about..  

  So, bad boy......are in or are you out?....LOL.....

• Mr_Box said on Nov 04, 2007....

  Miss Natty I'd flirt with you but I think Kyle would kick my ass. But I will tell you that I think you're cute as a button. And that's not flirting. That's just true. My brother is a lucky boy.

  Gingery.....I think you make perfect sense. There is a big difference between harmlessly trading a few flirts back and forth, and developing an actual relationship with that person.

  That's where the lines get crossed.

  Me, I'm just having fun. I'm not looking to take anything further. I'm quite happy with my life just the way it is.

  I know that several people here seem to disagree with my thoughts, but to me, casual flirting is simply entertaining. It doesn't mean anything to me.

  [shrugs]

  I guess that means I'm in.

• gingersoul said on Nov 04, 2007....

  woo woo....lol....

• secretlife said on Nov 04, 2007....

  i flirt like crazy online.
  i don't think there's a thing wrong with it.
   
  of course i also flirt like crazy in real life.
   
  i'm not trying to seduce anyone (ok, maybe just a wee bit)-
  it's just alot of fun ...the banter between the sexes.....
   

• gingersoul said on Nov 04, 2007....

  Hey......Secret and I could even flirt with each other....LOL..

• secretlife said on Nov 04, 2007....

  watch out ginger - we'll have them all whispering...
  (like that's stopped us before?!?)

• gingersoul said on Nov 04, 2007....

  LOL......heck no.....bring it on, missy......lol...

• the_infernal_optimist said on Nov 04, 2007....

  ed said it well - I don't say things to guys online that might upset my husband (or get him wondering) if he read them. Neither of us is paranoid about the other's interactions with people, IRL or online, so that helps.
  
  ~Infernal
  

• lisamay said on Nov 04, 2007....

  i do not see online as real life , or even reality . so, flirting or even more, is fine with me .. i dont think it matters, or i think it shouldnt matter. there have been times whem im chatting on here and some guy tries to get me to cyber, sometimes ill call my husband over and we make up stuff to say to him ... and while im typing ooohhh baby yes .. yes ... we're both rolling on the floor laughing. so you never know :) this IS the internet .... whee you have no way of knowing who is really at the other end lisa

• silverwhisper said on Nov 04, 2007....

  never mind! :>

• Mr_Box said on Nov 04, 2007....

  Gingery and secretlife.......you're taking this to another level. Chicks flirting with each other?

  [stops to watch for a minute]

  Okay you guys quit before it got good. But that was almost interesting.

  I'm glad you can see the appeal in the harmless flirting, secretlife. It is fun.

  Infernal......that's an admirable quality. I think that you and several others here have different ideas of what's acceptable than I do. But that's cool. This is what I wanted to know.

  lisamay.....you made me laugh. You are absolutely right that we have no real idea what's happening on the other end of the computer screen. I think that's why it's fun to me. How can you really take it too seriously?

  Though I know some people do.

  Ed? Nevermind what?

   

• gingersoul said on Nov 04, 2007....

  Mr.B....i didnt say that i consider online interactions less important than the ones in RL.......i could actually put them almost on the same level...i dont play games in RL as well as online.....so what you read about me is what you would hear from me...

  I consider the people i meet here "real" people..i dont mess up with their minds, i dont treat them differently, i dont undervalue their feelings. Absolutely not. If i joke or flirt with someone here be sure i would do in RL too....

  Said so, i am aware that on the other side of the screen there might be a completely different person from the one i think i am interacting...this is the huge risk of online life...but...dont people lie even in RL?

  Up to now i have been lucky.....SC is the only site i visit.....its more than enough for me....:-0

• D6fer said on Nov 04, 2007....

  I should have known that pickers would launch a preemptive strike here!
  well well well my dear.....did a little editing did we?.....I re read your post on the subject here.....and there seems to be something missing!
  Does anyone remember?
  

• silverwhisper said on Nov 04, 2007....

  realized that i didn't really have anything to say so i deleted my last comment. :>
  
  ed

• Mr_Box said on Nov 04, 2007....

  Gingery......I know for a fact that people get attached to those they meet online. The interactions are quite meaningful sometimes. They are real people.

  But at the same time, it's like another world too. It's a fantasy world. So when someone flirts with me through a computer screen, I don't automatically assume it means more than just a little fun.

  Now if I were to get into a deep conversation with someone, I would value that no less than if it were spoken face to face.

  What you see with me here, is how I always am. Playful and a bit arrogant sometimes. I love to joke around. But I'm also capable of intelligent and serious conversation too.

  D6fer.....I believe Ms. Plock called you D6perv. Nice to meet you. I'll have to check out that post you linked and see what's up.

• gingersoul said on Nov 04, 2007....

  What are you implying, D666?.....lol....

  that Picker deleted some comment from her post....comments about YOU????

• one_wired_kitty said on Nov 04, 2007....

  As for me - I don't care if my husband flirts  with anyone online. I don't have a problem with it until it starts turning sexual (who wants to do what where). Know what I'm sayin?

• wombat said on Nov 04, 2007....

  Innocent tease/flirting is ok with me.  I feel flattered and consider it having fun.  If it got out of line, I would get antsy and run....but not before I reminded the guy I was too old and ugly to be bothered with...

  Hubby doesn't get online, but if he did, I would be curious if he was innocently flirting.  I would keep an eye out for trouble..then tell the lady that he was like me--too old and ugly to be bothered with...ha!

  (You think that is why we are lagging in the bedroom department?  We are both too...well, you get the picture...lol!)

• pickersplock said on Nov 04, 2007....

  I will never talk! NEVER!!!!!!
  I can't imagine what D6flirt is talking about!

• gingersoul said on Nov 04, 2007....

  Well...now....Picker....why so defensive?....LOL...

• pickersplock said on Nov 04, 2007....

  I am not a crook.

• nursecutie said on Nov 04, 2007....

  Awww.......Jack you would flirt with me? LOL! You are sweet though saying I'm cute. I guess you are right that it feels good to hear that and it's fun!!! Even if it's not flirting.........LOL

  I guess I am just not as good at doing stuff like that. I think I'm a better flirt in person!! But now I only flirt with one person and that makes me happy enough :) This post was really popular though! I think you picked a subject lots of people wanted to talk about!

  I wish I could think of something like that but I can't find anything to say lately.......

  xxoo natalie xxoo

• Mr_Box said on Nov 04, 2007....

  Wired Kitty......I agree with you. I think if it's lighthearted and not sexual, it's harmless.

  wombat......I couldn't help but laugh at what you wrote. Too old and ugly. But that's why flirting online is fun. No one knows that.

  I have no idea what's going on with this D6, Pickersplock, Gingery thing so I'm just going to stay out of that.

  Miss Natty of course you're cute. No need to thank me. I certainly hope you hear that all the time from Kyle. But sometimes it does feel nice to hear it from someone else.

  I know firsthand that you are an excellent flirt in person. Not because you flirted with me, but I witnessed the courtship dance between you and Kyle.

  Nice work. Too bad it took him awhile to notice. But that wasn't you, that was him.

• wombat said on Nov 04, 2007....

  Mr Box:  Then, ok.  I am sexy, hot and gorgeous.  No one knows the
  difference....

• lfbno7 said on Nov 04, 2007....

  I think it's fine to flirt online. It's almost rude not to, if the other person would smile about it. And Wombat you are sexy, hot and gorgeous. It's funny but for all the important things that people would love to be praised for, like intelligence, generosity, greatness of spirit, nothing puts a smile on your face like being told you're pretty.

• preacherman said on Nov 05, 2007....

  Well, I came over here right now to leave a line or two, didn't realize I would get into a conversation on flirting.  Sounds like what most of you are talking about is plain harmless cutting up.  " Flirting online" to me is like going to the chat rooms and saying things to each other hoping to get some kind of "gratification" and to give the same.  To me that is a whole different thing.  Here, everyone seems to be like a family, and some tease each other, but I don't call that flirting.  good day to you ,now.

• MissMimi said on Nov 05, 2007....

  I think online flirting, if everybody knows the rules, and doesn't take it too seriously is a lot of fun.  Well, the other kind is fun too, but it sure can cause a hell of a lot of trouble that I would rather do without right now.

  Hmmm maybe I'll start flirting with Ginger and Secret, those little vixens...  woohoo!

• crybabylu said on Nov 05, 2007....

  I think sometimes people think flirting is only being friendly, and other times one thinks being friendly is realy flirting.  One has to decide for themself how they should conduct themselves online.

• talisman70 said on Nov 05, 2007....

  If you want an honest answer, then think about it this way.  Would you say those "suggestive" things to the other woman if your wife was standing next to you?

  Here's one:  Would it bother you if your wife was saying suggestive things about another man while you were standing next to her?

  Be honest with yourself, now.  Men are just as insecure as women these days and if you cannot do something with your significant other standing right there with you, then it's obvious that it's not right...or worth doing in the first place.

  Now, I agree that flirting, in its truest sense is non-sexual.  Flirting is just complimenting a person and showing them that they are attractive and interesting with no designs of hooking up involved.  That's flirting.

  Once you cross the line and start talking about sex, then you are no longer flirting, but seducing.  Bottom line is that if you are doing any online activity that involves the word "sex," then you are NOT flirting.

• Mamie said on Nov 05, 2007....

  well I think it is great fun and the more sarcastic the funnier! These comments are so funny too! I am keeping a raised eye brow to MM, SL, and GS...ya gotta watch out for these divas! good post Mr. B!

• Twylarants said on Nov 05, 2007....

  Dee got it right re: friendly vs flirting, I think.  My husband is very naive in that regard.
   Just before Xmas two years ago, he told me the cashier at the store flirted with him.  I was slightly skeptical, I mean, I think he's good-looking, but he was 58 years old for cryin' out loud!
  " Yeah, she was going on and on about my tie, nice design, how it brought out the color of my eyes" he said, getting all puffed up and smiley."
  "Uh, uh. And how old was this girl, Romeo?"
  " A college kid, you know...18? 19?"
  "Hon, I'm sorry to break this to you, but I'm pretty sure she was thinking ' Wow, that would be a great Xmas gift for my Dad!' "
  Popped that balloon!
   
  

• tizzygirl said on Nov 05, 2007....

  In the early years of my relationship I would have said no way jose don't you dare flirt!  BUT, flirting is just flirting, it makes people feel good.  I've told my boyfriend that if it makes him feel good go ahead and flirt, just don't come home and tell me about it, unless you made an ass of yourself or have a stalker.  But I think it's ok, just as long as the person knows you have a SO, don't "forget" to mention that, that maybe isn't ok.

• blossom77 said on Nov 05, 2007....

  I don't think there is nothing wrong with it. I find it to be very pleasant I have a few friends I flirt with online. I don't think there is nothing wrong with flirting long as it don't lead to anything more.

• lfbno7 said on Nov 05, 2007....

  We're hundreds if not thousands of miles apart and will never meet each other. I think it's pretty harmless. I like to do it with humor, like if a girl says she has some money, I pretend to be interested in her money. But then again, I'm pretty harmless. Maybe someone else's flirting wouldn't be so harmless. It's not like I'm advocating being a home wrecker. When girls fall in love with me, as they inevitably must, I tell them to be nice to their husbands. Cause I'm way worse.

• Mr_Box said on Nov 05, 2007....

  I've enjoyed all of these responses. Unfortunately, if I address them all, I think I'd just be repeating myself over and over.

  I'll just restate my thoughts on the matter. I think that harmless flirting is fun. It doesn't mean anything. But I don't count graphic sexual talk as flirting. That's something else.

  I know which lines I can't cross, so to me it's just a way to make myself feel happy, while making another person feel good too.

  Thank you all for answering.

• D6fer said on Nov 05, 2007....

  don't fall for pickers innocent act....she is a shameless hussy!

• pickersplock said on Nov 06, 2007....

  Hah!  What you really mean is, you wish I was a shameless hussy!

• destinydiva said on Nov 06, 2007....

  Sorry it took me awhile to get back here! mr box....
  
  yes I am guilty.....   I even got told to 'quieten it down ' by a few people when I was kinda in a relationship with someone....  but I think that is a culture thing too in that maybe english are more flirty??   dunno...
  
  I guess because I dont mean anything like" oh lets go get married I love you" when  I flirt online,or in RL, I see it as harmless, and I just assume the other person thinks the same??
  I enjoy flirting, so unless someone told me not too....  I will  !!  :-)
  
  I think preacherman made a very good point about the difference between flirting here and chat room flirting.
  
  And I think tizzy made a very good point about 'forgetting to mention you have a significant other"   I think that defo crosses a line!
  
  destiny xx
  
  
  

• pookiedookie said on Nov 06, 2007....

  ABSOLUTELY!  To flirt.

• Brunettebmshell said on Nov 07, 2007....

  
  
  Some of these responses are too funny...
  
  
  But in RL, I am generally an extremely friendly person. And that tends to get me in trouble. Just because I don't tell a guy to "F" off in a bar if he approaches me, he thinks its because I like him. My bf says I'm TOO nice, whatever that means...
  
  
  Lately I've been trying to really watch how "nice" I am so that I don't give anyone any false hope that I'm trying to come on to them. I love to laugh also, and I guess when I laugh at guys' jokes it makes some think I'm interested... when in reality I'm just easily amused, especially after I've had a few drinks. Haha! 
  
  
  A little flirting is ok, I think. Only if it is in good taste and completely harmless.
  
  
  BB

• NotReallyAnonymousAJ said on Nov 18, 2007....

  Sometimes, I'll address close male friends (both online and IRL) like, "Hiya, Sexy!"
  
  But it's just being goofy, and we both know it.
  
  Now, when I address my online friend, Russell, in that manner, it means just a teensy-weensy bit more than that!  LOL
  
  Of course, when it comes to having an affair when one or both of you is already taken, I think that this is wrong both online and IRL.
  

• lfbno7 said on Nov 18, 2007....

  But Desi, we ARE going to Albania aren't we?

• gingersoul said on Nov 18, 2007....

  Oh no....LF......you are going to Israel with me!

  .....LMPO....laughing my panties off......

• Mr_Box said on Nov 18, 2007....

  I callously abandoned this post. Sorry about that.

  I still thank you all for responding to it.

  And feel free to have fun in here. I'll just watch.

• gingersoul said on Nov 18, 2007....

  Oh, really?...you are a voyeur?.......uhmmm.....lol.....

• lfbno7 said on Nov 18, 2007....

  oh. I'm easily led. Will you order for me too? For one so opinionated, I can't seem to make up my mind what I want.

• gingersoul said on Nov 18, 2007....

  LF......oh, that it is a must.....i will order for you because i have the vague idea you will not even know where to start.....lol....but you have to taste everything i will put on your plate.....

• crybabylu said on Nov 18, 2007....

  0h..oh!  lfbno-no telling what is going to be added to that plate....dee

• gingersoul said on Nov 18, 2007....

  Crybaby...shhh......you are ruining the surprise....LOL.....

• lfbno7 said on Nov 18, 2007....

  hmm, looks ok to me

• WickedFlirt said on Apr 21, 2008....

  If you know where the line is why the anxiety. Enjoy and be clear about your "rules" so you don't step over your mark.Graham www.wickedflirting.com

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