While I was semi-MIA from SC, my best friend (the male one) was here for a few days. You already know that he helped a lot with Halloween, giving little one her first trick-or-treat experience while I trailed behind them with the baby.
He was so good with both of them the whole time...it was a breath of fresh air, in addition to all of the wonderful things that a visit from a longtime friend always brings. Bff told me before he arrived that he wanted to get better acquainted with all things baby/little kid, figuring that whenever he finds his gal, she might eventually appreciate any abilities he picked up there.
Less diaper changes for me to do? You got it, pal! :-D
I think he was still a little nervous around linebacker baby by the end of the journey, but he'd done his share of feeding, changing, etc. like a champ, and both my kids adore him. Little one didn't even need a warm-up period this time - she just climbed straight into his lap as soon as he sat down.
I feel bad for my kids sometimes. They have one uncle and no aunts...but of course, that's only counting biological relatives. In our heart-family, they have at least four more uncles (parties willing, anyway) and at least one awesome aunt who loves them to bits. I think sometimes people define family too narrowly, and then they feel trapped within bloodlines to some degree. Not me. You don't earn a place in someone's family just because you were born into it, although I'm one of those people who takes familial duty of any sort very seriously (so maybe I'm a hypocrite there).
We also spoke of certain things that don't lend themselves to instant messenger discussions very well, and have come to an understanding on some of the things that quaked my soul at one time and still occasionally do. He is, in a very real sense, my mortal moral compass - it's not that he's infallible, but I know I can trust him to kick my butt without breaking me if I screw up along the way. He is a guide, a companion, in many ways the Morkeleb to my Jenny, if that makes sense to you at all.
I felt like a real loser a few hours before he left - I actually choked up (and he's never seen me cry - I do that alone, thanks) when I tried to say something about him leaving and had to stop talking for a moment. It sucks that he lives so far away, but we're already planning a holiday visit around the end of December. :)
Anyway, that's pretty much everything worth telling (and maybe more).
the_infernal_optimist posted on Nov 03, 2007
| views: 131
Comments
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silverwhisper said on Nov 04, 2007....
infernal, it's clear that not only was it important to catch up with him, but that more importantly, you needed to see him, needed the kind of succor that only a true friend can offer. so i am glad that you had that time together. :>
and yes, most emphatically: people often do define family too narrowly. IMHO, blood doesn't really mean that much, when you come down to it.
ed -
fearing said on Nov 04, 2007....
Infernal, Good to see you. I haven't been here much either but I missed you just the same.
I liked what you said about family not having to be biological. I am guilty of that narrow mindedness (that doesn't look like a word now - lol) myself. I have brothers and no sisters. I always wanted a sister. My brothers are the BEST uncles though. I have 2 good sis-in-laws and they are good aunts, one especially. Anyway, you made me think about my girlfriends and their roles as surrogate aunts..... good point.
One more thing, it is cool you have a best friend who is a male. I have one of those I love so dearly but most people don't get our friendship or they automatically assume it is more than friendship. I'm happy you have a friend like him.
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the_infernal_optimist said on Nov 04, 2007....
ed: As always (with the exceptions of Star Wars and diet soda :-p), you get me quite well. :)
fearing: It is interesting that people tend to assume things just because your best friend is male. Ugh. I have another "best" (you can't really ultimately have more than one of those by definition, after all!) friend who is female, but between the two, I'm closer to him than to her. It's good to see you, too. :)
~Infernal
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fearing said on Nov 04, 2007....
Infernal - I have 2 too - 1 male and 1 female. I find that I share different things with each of them so I don't know which I am closer to. -
Mr_Box said on Nov 04, 2007....
So your best friend is a guy? And that doesn't cause any problems with your husband?
I'm not saying it would cause problems with me either, but consider this subject something of interest to me lately.
I think it's cool that you guys had such a good time together and it sucks that he lives far from you. I'm glad you'll get together again soon though. It's awesome to have close friends like that.
I'm in the dark as to who Morkeleb and Jenny are though. Never heard of that.
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the_infernal_optimist said on Nov 05, 2007....
fearing: That makes perfect sense to me.
Mr_Box: Like fearing, I sort of have one of each, although I'm definitely closer to him overall. My husband strongly dislikes the guy (he has his reasons) but what's he going to do, tell me I can't be friends with this person or that one? That's a sort of control that I think we both realize would be unhealthy.
Morkeleb is a dragon in a series of books by Barbara Hambly, and Jenny is a witch who befriends him. It's kind of a gross oversimplification to say that, but to spell it out is more revealing than I can really do here.
~Infernal
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