The day we found out the commissioner had decided that they had to go live with their dad. I sat the girls down in the living room and told them what was happening.
all of us were crying.
my little one. only three years old. she climbs in my lap.....she's so tiny.
like a little bug.
and she curls up in a ball.....and she squeezes her eyes so tight shut......
she doesn't make any noise...and i just hold her and hold her, and i don't cry.....i try so hard not to cry.....
and the biggest crocodile tears are dripping out of her tight squeezed eyes. she doesn't sob, her body doesn't shake, she just lays so still in my arms, and her tight squeezed eyes just drip.
and she cries herself to sleep that way in my lap.
i HAVE to cry, i have to SOB.
so i lay her on my bed and cover her.....
and i go outside and i just bawl.
then i call her dad in colorado.
and i yell at him like i have never yelled at him before.
all the years of pain and torture come out in one tirade.
i probably shouldn't have....but it hurt so much.
my baby.
my littlest who'd never spent a night away from me.
will i ever stop hurting?
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Fallyn posted on Nov 01, 2007
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Comments
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queenparanoia said on Nov 01, 2007....
can you still get them back? -
Fallyn said on Nov 01, 2007....
the trial is set for dec. 10.
we are going to BURY him.
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Fallyn said on Nov 01, 2007....
he has temporary custody. -
rupert7 said on Nov 01, 2007....
Fallyn - my wife was awarded full custody of my kids,I know it is different for a woman but i think I have some idea what you are going through and feeling - I really hope this ends well for you! (((((hug)))))) -
Fallyn said on Nov 01, 2007....
thankyou rupert....if you've read my scars series you'll know why i'm so worried and scared for them....they are with a monster.
thankyou.
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the_infernal_optimist said on Nov 01, 2007....
How long has he had them, Fallyn?
~Infernal
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Fallyn said on Nov 01, 2007....
since the 7th of september. -
Twylarants said on Nov 02, 2007....
I just can't imagine what you're going through, Fallyn...
I can't wait to read your post the day you get the girls back.
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Fallyn said on Nov 02, 2007....
*laughing* when i get them back you can be sure i will be sobbing tears of joy. I am so eager to have this nightmare ended once and for all. -
uniquely-ironic said on Nov 02, 2007....
I just don't know what to say. I've been there and it's the kind of hurt you keep with you. I hope you kick his furry ass in Dec.! -
Fallyn said on Nov 02, 2007....
ME TOO!!!!!!! i have NEVER in my LIFE hated ANYONE.......and he and his mother are on the hate list now.......*sigh*
hate is hard to deal with...but i can't feel anything else towards him right now.
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uniquely-ironic said on Nov 02, 2007....
That's not entirely a bad thing. It certainly puts you into the right mind set to build a bullet proof case and get your girls back. The only caution I have for you is to not let that "enthusiasm" spill over where your girls can see it. Though incredibly hard, I have only had a couple of moments when I vented about my ex in front of my kids. It damages them, and you don't want that. -
Fallyn said on Nov 02, 2007....
no....definitely not.....
that would really hurt them.
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satyr said on Nov 02, 2007....
Good luck in December!!!!((((((((HUGS))))))))))) -
Fallyn said on Nov 02, 2007....
THANKYOU! -
moyz said on Nov 03, 2007....
Good luck in December Fallyn.... -
Fallyn said on Nov 03, 2007....
thankyou moyz! -
crybabylu said on Nov 04, 2007....
sending hugs and kisses your way.....LOL, Dee -
Fallyn said on Nov 04, 2007....
thankyou! *HUGS for dee*