I had this nice post all typed up and accidentally blew it away with a single keystroke.
Ooops. Guess it wasnt meant to be.
Anyway, I wanted to talk a bit more about my marriage relationship. I deeply love my husband and i am sure he deeply loves me. We care about each other and each others happiness.
But we have separated that from our sex lives.
Sex is a statement of our love to each other, but we have come to understand that it can also be done as a recreational activity.
Now there are limitations. I dont think either of us would like for the other one to have a steady girl/boy friend., or any kind of romantic type relationship.
But just sexual experimentation seems fine to both of us.
He has a low appetite in that area and i have a big appetite, so it is hard for us to keep each other happy in the area of sex.
I have talked more with him after posting. The posting, and comments, helped me gather my thoughts and helped me to better articulate things.
He did repeat his permission to me. I have his approval to have sex with others. Now he knows im not going to go off the deep end and fuck someone every other day ... or even every week. I think that has a lot to do with it.
i really am a down to earth person with a life ... i can do other things :)
He did surprise me a bit though by saying that he would like to watch me with someone else. Online i have read about a lot of men liking that sort of thing, seeing their wives with other men. Its a turn on on many levels ... there is the idea of your own personal porn movie live ...and men enjoy seeing their wives have pleasure.. there are probably other areas as well.
He did say earlier to me that he didnt want to know about it, now he says he would like to watch... hmmm maybe he is warming up ?
I dont know
He knows that I may have but he does not know about specifics.
I wonder if i should tell him i have already done it ?
He seems to have the impression that i have not as of yet.
im not quiet sure how to ask that question :)
simply because he did say earlier that he did not want to know ..
i guess i can ask if he still does not want to know .. but even asking that implies something doesnt it ?
lisa
lisamay posted on Oct 30, 2007
| views: 1676
Comments
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TexKelc said on Oct 30, 2007....
The big unknown right now is how he will react when presented with the reality of you having sex with someone, when he's not involved. For instance, telling him that you already have...If you have permission, then why are you reluctant to tell him?There could be many reasons, and you may have more than one concern... -
lisamay said on Oct 30, 2007....
If you have permission, then why are you reluctant to tell him?main reason is that at one point he said he didnt want to know ... now that seems to have changed.does that make sense ?im just not sure if he really wants to know or not ? -
Fallyn said on Oct 30, 2007....
i think part of the men wanting to watch you be with another man is because it verifies that you are desirable.....it ups his ego to know that someone else wants you.
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lisamay said on Oct 30, 2007....
true
he did seem interested in that .
i may just encourage him in that, and unless im totally sure he really really wants to know, i may not tell him about previous ones.
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lisamay said on Oct 30, 2007....
true
he did seem interested in that .
i may just encourage him in that, and unless im totally sure he really really wants to know, i may not tell him about previous ones.
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Fallyn said on Oct 30, 2007....
would you be okay with him watching? -
lisamay said on Oct 30, 2007....
would you be okay with him watching?
i think so ?
but im sure i would be very self concious and find it very hard to concentrate or to get into it ....
probably take a time or two to get used to it ?
but i think i could work with that scenario.
anyone have any experience in that area ?
lisa
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Fallyn said on Oct 31, 2007....
haven't had anything in that area....i really don't think my love would be into that....unless i was with another girl.....but i don't think then even he'd just be satisfied with watching. :p -
silverwhisper said on Oct 31, 2007....
you know, i'm glad you and your husband discussed this, lisamay. i think that was the responsible thing to do.
i wonder if he's always had this interest in watching you be with another man and only now feels comfortable with telling you about it. indeed, i'm wondering if perhaps this hasn't been where he's been trying to go for a while.
i don't have any experience in that area myself, but i think it requires a great deal of trust by both of you for this to happen and for both of you to be happy about it afterwards. what i'm also curious about is how he's going to feel when you and he have sex afterwards, and how that will make you feel in turn.
ed -
Fallyn said on Oct 31, 2007....
superior amounts of trust. -
lisamay said on Oct 31, 2007....
SW .. yes it does make me wonder too, if this isnt where he has been headed.
We do wonder how we will feel during and afterwards. I guess there is no way to know really, until you get there.
And the how he will feel about sex with me afterwards, and how i will feel about that is another great question.
I am not sure there is any way to know before hand. Im sure we will talk that out.
From what I have read , most problems arrive when one partner doesnt really want to do it , but is doing it for the other, or is doing it under durress.
We do trust each other a lot. I believe that even if we are both very upset and miserable after ... that we will call it a lesson learned and move on.
the question becomes .. is the risk worth the reward.
I can say that I felt better about myself and more confident after my little indiscretion. I also enjoyed it with my husband just a little bit more...
So hopefully that trend will repeat itself.
Just a small thing about trust. Last night I had to go to a work related meeting. Very boring, very tedious and completely useless, but ... we all had to be there. A man - co worker - picked me up and we rode together. We got back nearly an hour after I thought we would.
Husband asked me if the meeting ran over - and if it was as boring as i thought it would be. I said yes to both. That was that. I could tell he was totally satisfied with my answer and did not question whether anything else had gone on. Nothing else did, by the way :)
But the point was, there was trust.
He - husband - did get interested in a little touching , kissing and such, and for a moment i thought i might get laid ... but alas. no.
i may copy this as a post, its getting much to long :)
lisa
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silverwhisper said on Oct 31, 2007....
i see that you've done so already. :>
ed
Comment on "relationship and sex"
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