Help Me Change

How can I

begin to say

the things I want to say to you

How will I

get over this

stupid fear of hurting you

Right now my heart's

at war inside,

and I can't cry, I wonder why

these things I keep inside of me

I'm sick of the hypocrisy

saying that I hate this shit

and then I do it, guess I've hit

rock bottom and it's hard to see

true feelings down inside of me

so help me change

relieve my pain

I've lost control

my heart is full

of anger towards your selfish acts

hopefully the pain will pass

and I won't hate you anymore,

and no more will my heart be sore

and I won't be a hypocrite

falling deep into a pit

of cold and darkness signified

by my fake acts and small white lies

But it's so hard to change my ways,

when all I've heard are your okays

and I just smile and nod my head,

and then at night, I cry in bed

wondering why I lie to you

when there's nothing you can do

to me no more, but still I'm scared,

of hurting you, though I don't care

So help me change

relieve my pain

I've lost control

my heart is full (of pain)

So help me change

relieve my pain

I've lost control

my heart is full...

© Davina Beeson