I've always been a hopeless romantic. When I was younger I pictured my life and how it would be with my significant other. We would be madly in love; always together doing cute couple things, completely happy, laughing all the time, enjoying the outdoors, going horseback riding, etc. My friends would adore him and be jealous of the type of relationship we had. He and I would have similar interests and have many things in common... Well, things didn't really work out that way, and now I'm left just feeling hopeless...
I love my boyfriend. I truly do. I've spent many years with him; about seven to be exact. I met him in High School and was totally smitten after about a month and a half of getting to know him. Seven years later, we are still together and have been living with each other for over a year. He is a good guy; honest, true, charming, has never cheated on me, my family likes him, he can be sweet, and so on. We have been through a lot together, and I care for him greatly. Recently there has just been things that have been really bothering me. Some of my friends find him "rough around the edges" so to speak, and I can't really blame them. He isn't a people pleaser at all, he does what he wants when he wants to. He says whatever is on his mind and never really holds back. He isn't too big on manners either, talks with his mouth full, doesn't open doors for me, or pull out my chair, things that are kind of insignificant but have always been important to me. I don't want to change him or try to make him something he's not, but I just wonder when he will grow up. Lately we haven't been very loving towards each other at all. There is absolutely no romance, no sweet cards, no flowers, no cute little notes, nothing. We are more like friends and room mates. We hang out at home together and we spend most of the time just watching TV, playing on the internet, or goofing around calling one another names like jack ass, jerk, dumb ass, idiot, etc. We are never serious when we talk like that, but are girlfriends and boyfriends supposed to speak to each other that way, even if they are kidding? We don't go out on dates because we are strapped for cash, when we do go out with friends together (which is extremely rare because I just usually go out with my own friends alone), usually the night ends up in a fight because he bitches about wanting to leave or something to that affect. This has just been really taking a toll on me. I ended up writing him a page and a half long letter. I expressed most of my feelings, and asked him to write me back or to just talk to me. Well after he majorly screwed up one night, he finally addressed that he agreed with everything I said in my letter and that we should really work on things. Part of me thinks the only reason why he brought up the letter and "agreed" with me was because he knew his ass was in hot water and that was his way of trying to get himself out of trouble.
I don't know what to do anymore. I feel like a broken record. Things tend to get better for a short period of time, and then they slip back into the same old routine. This is not the type of relationship I pictured myself having. I want to be happy, to be able to bring him around my friends without it being awkward, I want roses and champagne sometimes, I would like it if we had things in common, to just be able to go out without me begging for him to come along, and going out without there being tension. I love him, but am I settling? Are we settling? I don't want to give up because there are good times, and because we have a lot invested into our relationship. But at the same time we are just so different. I would like to make it work, but I don't know where to start... help!
