It's no one's fault. No one is to blame. There is nothing to be done. Nothing that can be done.
But tonight I sit here in my comfy arm chair.
On my own.
And the emptiness is immense.
I have so many things to be thankful for, and I am, but it doesn't change how alone I feel right now. The gaping chasm between where I am and where I want to be seems too vast to be crossed, and I know it is selfish of me but I am tired of being lonely.
When is it going to end?
Alyss posted on Oct 26, 2007
| views: 314
Comments
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silverwhisper said on Oct 26, 2007....
i don't think anyone can answer that, alyss.
but you sound like you could use this.
[hug]
ed -
lfbno7 said on Oct 26, 2007....
I noticed with Evil Twin and Destiny Diva that they were very sad before life turned around and made them very happy, so you never know.
Maybe you're not thinking of something that would be good.
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varada said on Oct 26, 2007....
Alyss, there is a sad note in your blog. Loneliness is something which is boring and subsequently you get fed up with. But solitude is enjoyable. It all depends upon our attitude in approaching. After series of misfortunes I am alone now. I got accustomed to this solitude. I enjoy this condition. It all depends upon our attitude towards our condition. Why make life miserable to us and to others around us. I take full advantage of my solitude. I spend maximum time on the computer, read newspapers, mail, blog, chat with friends etc. Had there been somebody, I would not have been able to do things as I please. Now I am fully in control of me.
Read all new books. You can get books from the library or you have online books aplenty for free reading.
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polarheart said on Oct 27, 2007....
(((((Alyss)))))
I hope you find the strength and the drive to pull out of this well, Alyss. I realise that sometimes we feel (and I know from personal experience) just too tired and drained to move, let alone change our chain of thought. Right now I am fighting a battle in my own mind, but we need to take those depressing thoughts captive. We need to allow hope to be rekindled in our hearts and minds, to allow ourselves to believe that there IS better for us and that THIS CURRENT state of affairs is NOT the be all and end all or our existance.
I hope you will feel uplifted very soon!
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Alyss said on Oct 27, 2007....
Thank you, I was tired and out of sorts last night and eventually just gave in and went to bed. I couldn't even face reading which I love to do and rarely have time for these days. Sometimes I need to just wallow in it (why am I imagining Reggie Perrin's MIL?) to find the energy to get up and get on.
polar, it is current and even as that it is a transient state but it is sometimes difficult to remember that. I suppose I have been disappointed too many times before but I will try to be more positive. I hope your own battle is resolved to your satisfaction soon.
varada, thank you for your interesting comment. I do enjoy my solitude and with small children I rarely get it so appreciate it much more when I do. I can keep busy and have plenty of interesting books to read, letters & articles to write but for some reason that simply did not appeal last night. Today is better though and I am trying to make better use of my time to avoid any more self indulgent twaddle. ;-)
ah, lfbno, I am thinking of good things but sadly they are out of reach right now. Perhaps I should focus on things which are more immediately attainable. I am hoping for a turn round too. Thank you for stopping by again.
ed, thank you. You are a good friend.
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LadyGamer said on Oct 27, 2007....
Wallowing is good for you as long as you pick yourself up after a bit. Which, of course, you will do.
One foot in front of the next, Hun. No tunnel is endless.
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carmachu said on Oct 27, 2007....
As the lady said, its one step at a time. One day at a time. Or hour. Or minute. Whatever gets you through the day. -
EvilTwin said on Oct 29, 2007....
You are not, and will never be alone, dearheart. I know that those are only words, and that it is difficult to feel them over such a distance and after so long a time. But I do love you. And as there is a part of your soul within me, you carry a part of my soul within you. Always...Gen Melin A'maelamin. -
Alyss said on Oct 29, 2007....
LG & Carm, thank you.
{hugs} ET
Comment on "Lonely"
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