• JadeLondon said on Jul 29, 2006....

  Good job, Dad! I think you should leave it be. I think he is displaying a boy's normal curiosity, especially for his age. Being that he is 14, he would probably be greatly embarrassed. We all know by that point in our lives that it took our parents having sex to create us--but we certainly don't want to view them as sexual creatures. Because we can not view them in a sexual manner, we certainly wouldn't want to discuss it (sex) with them. It is one thing if you want to discuss it with him because he is a guy, too. I honestly see no purpose in discussing it with your wife, unless it is in passing. If it may ruffle feathers, I would just tuck it under your hat. It seems pretty harmless to me. If you think it would upset your wife & cause unnecessary conflict, leave it be. Besides, your son sounds somewhat shy. You wouldn't want him to develop a complex. If it were something more hardcore, then I would be concerned.

• yoho said on Jul 29, 2006....

  I have been married for 19 years yesterday and still cannot predict my wifes reaction to things. I know her better than she knows herself but damned if I can figure her out. Women gotta luv em.

• yoho said on Jul 29, 2006....

  I hope he hasn't seen those pics of his mom... He better stay off my computer hard tellin who he might see. You mean women aren't objects? They are to me... Objects of my affection.... objects of my desire... etc. All in how you look at it I suppose. As for "the talk" I asked him with a shit eating grin on my face if he thought I should tell mom.... You can guess his answer... This way he knows he can count on dad not to rat him out to mom. That way maybe when it really matters maybe he will talk to me about something important. I am somewhat of an unconventional parent but have three of the best sons anyone could ever ask for. I must be doing something right..

• hunter_boyce_chandler said on Jul 29, 2006....

  Good Dad....been there, done that.

• ALIENated said on Jul 30, 2006....

  Hard to say. If you are comfortable with the way you handled things, that may be the only requirement you need to fulfill. You will have to deal with any consequences that arise as a result of your actions. I am pretty sure every boy gets to the point of being curious about the opposite sex. Some men look at women as objects while others look at them as works of art. I fall into that second category. Sounds like you do too. That may be what you want to impart to him--you can look, but you should not harm.

• LadyGamer said on Jul 31, 2006....

  Good job. This supports a good solid ground of trust. YOu didn't freak out about the lesbian videos...maybe you can help with problem X... Go you! Me...I'm still trying not to bug out when I fourteen year old daughter freely calls her nemesis "That psycho B*tch from hell".

• yoho said on Aug 01, 2006....

  Thanks LadyGamer, That is my thinking, trust is very important. My sons know they can talk to me. Besides if I save being a real hardass for more appropriate times it will have more impact. TNTbefree & ALIENated seemed to imply some sort of connection between this and possible negative view or mistreatment of women. I fail to see the connection, & until they show some signs of this I will assume my sons know better. I do know this is a problem in society but if they follow the example I set they will let women wrap them around their little finger just like dad.

• silverwhisper said on Aug 01, 2006....

  personally, i think you handled that ideally. i think it's cooler though that you're the one helping him with his computer, rather than vice versa. :> ed

• quidnunc said on Aug 02, 2006....

  a little explanation to put things in perspective would not hurt... for example, a clarification that the images seen on the video is not necessarily the "norm" could enlighten the mind of a 14-year old...otherwise, you handled the matter well...

• Piranha said on Aug 02, 2006....

  Hehe, The embarrisment alone is punishment enough. One thing that i have noticed, especially the last 10 years or so is that it's mostly the quiet introverted guys who have had very few (maybe one or two) girlfriends got their girlfriends pregnant "before time". I could be wrong, or it could be a coincidance, or it could be a fact, but i'm sure it is something we could look into more. In my opinion, I would let him explore, give hime some space, after all the harder you are on the poor kid, the more he will rebell and ruin both you life and his!!

• eksebhaledo said on Aug 02, 2006....

  Some degree of openness is welcome.I would not trust moms to ignore harmless adventures of adoloscent sons

• happykat said on Aug 05, 2006....

  You did what i would have done with my boy. It's important to have the trust and understanding. You can bring up sexuality and the exploitation thing at some later date. And when you do, maybe your boy will trust you enough to be completely open with you.

• anonymous said on Aug 10, 2006....

  So how were the vids?

• jhanok said on Sep 20, 2006....

  That's a good one..
  
  Nice technique of approching your son.
  
  This is also applicable to mothers out there.
  
  That's what i am planning to do with my future child,used that technique.Not to hurt them both physically & emotionally.though i know they might be ashamed of what they've done,but in a nice way of approching them,they will understand you & they wont have nothing against you...
  

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