This weekend I've been down. Feeling sorry for myself and all that, the usual. I found out today I got a D- or high F on my midterm in one of my hard classes. I also have a 52 in my super hard class, but that doesn't really matter since they mostly count the final as your real grade, but it doesn't help. I really tried to study for that midterm too. I went to see the teacher even and asked the things I thought I didn't know. I thought I understood it pretty well, I went in there feeling ok about it too, I definetly didn't think I'd fail it. I came out of it thinking I did the best that I could. I wasn't super confident or anything though, but I definetly put in a good effort for myself into studying. If that's not going to cut it, why am I wasteing my time here? So what if the class average is a C- or high D on it.
My motivation is totally shot now, and I have tons of homework waiting for me to do, bad timing. Maybe I'm just not suppose to be doing this, maybe I don't belong here. I'm not a quitter, I love that about myself, but if me putting in a reasonable effort and thinking I did the best I could on this test isn't going to get me anywhere, then maybe I need to move on. It is one test though, but it really bothers me that I don't think I could have done anything more to do better on it. Was all this just so that I could find out I need to do something else? What a waste.
