I feel like talking about it because it was just so crazy i have to get my thoughts together.    so.  this summer, I started out living with my parents, like I had my entire life.  My mom had given me a curfew of 1:30 and I was ready to party it up.  Graduation night, I went to a party.  Got pretty drunk, hopped in a car with this guy I knew who had just graduated.  We went out to a littel dirt road called Stoner's Road.  I lost my virginity to this guy.  I actually thought I was goin to be pregnant for a couple weeks.  stupid of me.  He was really cute... but if he was about a foot taller at least, he would be soo hot.  but anyways.... he moved to Nebraska and I haven't talked to him since.  so then, I got into the huge fight with my parents, and moved out... then I moved back to dighton with my grandma, and during backyard bash, I hooked up with this guy Id known for a couple of years for a one nighter...  he was engaged... oh yeah the other guy was engaged too.  but this guy, after sleeping with him that night, I talked to him the next day and he told me that his fiance had just decided to dump him out of the blue.... so He asked me out.... but he said I couldnt tell anyone for a while.  So i kept it a secret, except for my best best friends.... I was scared that I was becoming nothing more than a fuck buddy.  He never kissed me, or anything. he just wanted sex....  a couple weeks later, I was at his appartment watching a movie with him, and he said that his ex had called him and asked him to take her back.... and he said he was thinking about it.... I havent talked to him since then... I was lucky enough to... well not really meet his ex, well now fiance again.... but see her... I went to the local sports bar with a friend, and he was up there with her playin pool.  she looked like she hadn't slept for weeks, she was short, and she was constantly laughing really stupidly and loudly, and all I could think was, what the hell's wrong with me that he would want her over me? then I thought, I don't give a flying fuck about what he thinks of me, because he's not worth it... it still kind of upsets me tho, because he's the first "boyfriend" ive ever had.  and it was nice to think that someone loved me like that... even though it wasn't real.  so, that was my summer... recently i saw him at kwik shop, and he scrunched down in his pick up and tryed to hide from me, pulling his cap down over his eyes.  if I wouldn't of been with my mom, I would have went over there and called him on it,  but my mom didnt need to know all that, and he wasn't worth it anyways... besides, he's 19. what kind of 19 year old guy watches she's the man and that fried worms movie anyways?  ugh.... guys....