I thought I'd use this blog to say a little bit more about myself, to let readers know where I'm coming from...  Well, i'm 17, and I live in a tiny little town called Dighton.   I pretty much hate Kansas.  The wind...  ugh.  Today we had a wind advisory actually. lol.  So... about the only thing in my life right now that I feel is truely worth doing is my job.  I work at a daycare, and it is the best feeling to be on one side of the door feeling down and depressed from todays endless shit, and then walking through to the other side with loving shouts of your name and hugs.  It's beautiful.  I'm a senior in high school, so right now I'm very stressed, because no one understands why I don't want to go to college.... it's like my peers and the faculty are all looking down on me like i'm a complete waste of education or something.  Honestly I really don't see how college would benifit me...  I'll be the first one in my large ass family to graduate high school since my grandma anyways.  That's my goal, and I'm finding it hard enough to do without having people ask me, why aren't you going to college, and all that crap.  My family.... wow.... well, I really do love them all... Love isn't something you can forget, or turn on... well i suppose you could, but I can't.  My grandma... sweetest old lady in the world.  Just turned 70 yesterday... She's getting scatterbrained as ever, but I love her none the less.  Even if she pisses me off sometimes... My dad.  Recently brought back into my life because of me.  I never got to see him all that much growing up, because he was a bit of an alcoholic, and my mom hates his guts to this day.  He's doing alot better now though.  Spends time with me, calls me, I even lived with him for a little bit, but I'll get to that part later.  My mom... I love her, but right now I'm so pissed off at her I could hardly care less about her.  I recently moved out of my house because I went with my dad to go shopping, and didn't ask permission.... i sent my mom a text, but she didn't get it til she woke up, which was right before we got back into town, and she got super pissed off, and said she was goin to call the cops and file kidnapping charges if I didn't come home right away.  So, I called one of the cops, and he said she couldn't do it... and up to this point in my life, I have never said no to anything my parents have told me to do... But I am 17, and I am perfectly aware of things... 18 isn't a magical age where your brain just starts to work and you become smart enough to make your own decisions.  So, after refusing to go in the house so my parents could scream at me, they said fine, you can just go live with your dad.  Then they found out that I was the one that had busted them for smoking pot.  I don't have any problems with stoners, but I'm not going to pay for pot that I don't smoke.  And I'm not going to pay for bills and shit that a kid shouldn't have to pay for while my dad was just sitting on his ass for 3 years.  So I moved in with my dad.  I wish now that I would of stayed with him, but things always happen for a reason.  So... my step-dad, who I grew up knowing as my "dad".  I love him alot too, even though he's toying with my mom's emotions big time right now...  He ran away, feeling "suffocated" to washington to his daughters...  who he has pretty much ignored up until now...  It's cool that he wants to finally be there for them, even tho they're all over the age of 20 now, but he needs to grow a pair of balls and tell my mom that he's staying up there....  My cuz Wendy...  she has the craziest life story you'll probably ever hear in your entire life, but It's not mine to tell... I just want to say that If I ever had a sister, I would want Wendy to have that position.  I love her and her BF Jimmy so much...  And I wouldn't of ever gotten to know her probably if I hadn't moved in with my dad.   So see, things do happen for reasons unknown sometimes.   Chris, my boss... I love her like a second mom... She will never replace my mom.  But I do love her alot... She has helped me so much over the past year.  If it weren't for her, and her boyfriend's support, I would probably be at home right now smoking pot with my parents and becoming them.  Thanks Chris and Erin.   So yeah, here I am, writing this blog, a senior in high school, trying to get motivated enough to graduate, and trying to figure out what to do with my life.  I'm stressed to the limit it seems, and not too many things are going my way right now... At least not how I would like them to go.  But oh well.  So.  This is me in a nutshell.  hope you enjoyed.