something that had been bothering me a lot- and I can't shake it.
I used to have a MySpace account, the reason for it was to keep in touch with out of state relatives and get to know other families with children who have Autism.
I got to know this one woman, a mother to 4 children, one who had Autism.. she lives in another state and we would send messages back and forth to one another mostly relating to Autism- my son was newly diagnosed at the time and I was going through a lot of hard times and she was pretty supportive and offered some kind words in the beginning.
After a few months I remember I was reading her blogs and they were filled mostly with complaints about her son with Autism- and how difficult he had become- how she wanted a "normal" life, things of that nature.. and although I understood her frustration, I didn't feel right about how she went on and on complaining about her child- one blog stuck out in my mind so much that I shared it with some family members of mine- she said "today my son took his diaper off and pooped on the carpet and I was livid! He left a huge mess and I am tired of cleaning up after him- When oh WHEN is this going to end!!!!".. I thought to myself maybe she needs more support, maybe she needs more education on Autism, maybe she needs to be a bit more understanding that her son isn't like her or her other "normal" kids- he doesn't know any better-
It just stuck with me .. I read blogs from the entire year and noticed her blogs from the month of May 2007 were all about complaining about her son with Autism- not venting, but complaining.
Then one day back in June she blogged that her son died earlier that day... she said she was in another room changing her younger child's diaper, and that her Autistic son ran out the door and drowned in the backyard pond. I was shocked, I mean, if that were my son I wouldn't be blogging the same day about it- maybe it's me, I don't know- but it disturbed me quite a bit.. the next day she continued blogging about her son but her story changed- she said that she was in another room with her husband and 3 other kids hooking up TV wires when he escaped.. but what really got to me was that she was complaining that she didn't have money to bury him and that she would like donations-
She didn't talk about her loss, but money- she said "we were lucky they didn't make us pay back his social security for this month".. this was days after her 5 year old son's death-
The biggest thing was that she posted pictures of her son, dead- covered in mud when he was pulled from the pond on her myspace page- I thought to myself, who would bring out their camera at a time like this? then later she posted pictures of him in his casket- and she made a video that is still on her page, she says she wants to warn other parents what could happen to them...
She said her husband pulled his lifeless body from the pond and there she was with her camera? Please- somebody tell me it's NOT me...
I am not an insensitive person- I understand everyone deals with death differently, I get that.. but this seemed odd to me.. then another mother messaged me and brought the same concerns I had and how she erased all her blogs complaining about her son... and she said she was suspicious of the child's death- well so was I. I don't know... the video is still available to watch- if I'd known there were pictures of this child covered in mud and later in a casket I wouldn't have watched... now I am having nightmares over this- I wish I never saw the pictures.. maybe I'm overreacting.
I am posting the video- but be warned..it's pretty graphic.. there is now a warning which wasn't there before about how graphic it is.
