Sometimes I just don't understand what parents are thinking. Sure I can appreciate names being passed down from generation to generation, but come on, you also have to think about whether or not a name will lead your child to be easily picked on at school!
I met a guy in college named John. Nice guy, normal name. Then one day I learned his last name was Johnson. Well, how lame can parents be? Was there no creativity, no thinking? Maybe we should all keep it simple and shorten our last names in some manner to come up with our child's first name!
I'll never forget a boy who was in my class in 3rd grade. He always smelled bad. Not to be too cruel, but you know kids at that age are, but he was not fully potty-trained. The reason he smelled is because he often shit his pants ... no, not pee, but full on number 2, yes, poop, kucka, doo doo, whatever the hell 3rd graders call it.
How do I know? Well, we were in Mrs. Lovejoy's class. And one day, we were standing in two lines competing at flash cards. All of a sudden the normal smell we were accustomed to when Robert was near got worse. I looked down to see that there was shit on the floor ... I have no idea what kind of underwear the poor kid wore if any, but he took a dump and some went right down his leg, out his pant leg, and onto the tiled floor for all of the kids to see. Well, this poor boy's last name was Cooper. So suddenly he became known as "Robert Cooper the Pooper Scooper". Poor boy - he moved after only going to my school for one year ... I wonder why?!!!
My favorite ever however was a basketball coach I had at summer camp. This guy was mean, yelling at us constantly, making us do extra sprints ... his name was Dick Hunt. Yes, innocent enough depending on how you say it. Given that my friends and I were all in middle school however and just learning "bad words" we got an extra laugh behind this man's back ... the emphasis we put when pronouncing his name made it come out Di Cunt!
Kids can be cruel. Hell, so can we. So, for any of you out there that haven't faced parenthood and naming your baby yet, think about it!
Any funny or disturbing names you've come across out there?
