I should have done many things today, but I didn't accomplish much at all. I was in kind of a funk. I didn't feel so good. I've been awake since 4:00 a.m. this morning. I was plagued by nightmares last night.
My dreams were of violent acts against me. They were really horrible. They were the sort that feel real and you have to take a moment to shake them off convincing yourself they didn't really happen. It was unsettling to say the least. Of course, I couldn't go back to sleep after I woke up. I suppose they were brought on by this pickup that keeps driving by my house.
The dogs outside are barking non-stop tonight. It always makes me wonder if he is around in that pickup. You never know with dogs. It could be a deer or a human and they still would be barking. I get a little spooked. It's very dark out here in the country. There is just one pole light near the garage and that's a ways from the gravel road in front of the house where he passes by. I can't really see what they are barking at.
My sister has been texting me all evening from my nephew's football game. She and I agree that he is a football stud. :-) I am really proud of him. He has great speed and when he breaks away from the pack there is no catching him. It is so fun to watch when he does that. Tonight was his last freshman/junior varsity game and I hate that I have missed them all because of my foot. He knows I would have been to them all if I could have swung it.
The great thing is that he is not cocky about his talent. He would be blushing right now if he heard me speak of how great I think he is. I tease him that he just has to take it because I'm never going to stop being proud of him. He would then say, "You know it. That's how I roll." I couldn't love him more if he were my own. Somehow this summer he has grown from a little boy into a young man right before my very eyes.
I'm also a little worried about my dad tonight. He is also diabetic and I hear through my sister that he has injured his foot by not wearing socks with boots. Grrrrrr. He is so stubborn about not wearing socks. I tried to gently nudge him to wear them last Thursday when I saw him, but all he would say is that he still has feeling in his feet. Well, hello! So do I! Yet can't he see where a blister got me? Of course, he left this little nugget of information out when I talked to him yesterday. I know he didn't want to worry me...or get a scolding...probably both. He got one from my sister...maybe he wanted to get the other barrel on another day.
My blood sugar was within range and pretty stable today. It didn't go up or down much at all. That's good considering how I have been in this weird sort of mood. I'm eating like I am supposed to. I need to get on top of the mental aspect. I know that is where my true victory lies.
That's been the highlights of my day so far. Thanks for reading.
CW
CreativeWoman posted on Oct 08, 2007
| views: 379
Comments
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gingersoul said on Oct 08, 2007....
CW.....i am sorry you are still shaken from that pick up scare.....i would be too....i can see you typing while outside the dogs are barking and the night is dark and you have so many thoughts in your mind....I wamted always to say that your writign style reminds sometimes of Margaret Atwood......she is able to read about the most horrible things with a chilling quietness...
I am guessing that specially with your foot in this conditions you migth be afraid you couldn't even run properly in case you have to...
But dont worry...its ok......its just another night like many other nights that will come...teh dogs always barks at the moon...
you will go to sleep and you will have sweet and pleasant dreams....tomorrow the day will greet you and your health will be improving a little bit more, your business will go good, your friends will call you and your fans at Sc will flood your posts...
be safe and be well, CW....good night....sleep good..... {hugs}
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Fire_01 said on Oct 09, 2007....
CW.....hang in there..... -
MissMimi said on Oct 09, 2007....
I'm sorry you had a rough night, CDub. Dreams like that can really shake you up. Nights like that, it's a relief when the sun comes up. {{{{{hugs}}}}}High school sports are just the greatest! I loved going to my daughter's soccer and softball games. I love hearing moms and dads and aunts and uncles cheering for their kids.Sweet dreams, CDub... -
CreativeWoman said on Oct 09, 2007....
ginger,
Thank you. You hit the nail on the head. The dogs were barking as I was writing. Maybe it will inspire me to write a chilling short story to release my fears. Hugs to you too.
Fire,
Thank you. I will.
Mimi,
I woke up to another scary dream this morning. My subconscious seems to be working over time.
I love watching my nephew in all of his activities. It's great to root for him. Hugs to you too.
CW
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hillbillygirl said on Oct 09, 2007....
I hate having dreams like that...they just seem to stick with you to they are hard to shake off sometimes. I have woke up with tears literally running down my face before. Hope you can get some better sleep. -
uniquely-ironic said on Oct 09, 2007....
Your mind must be a busy place these days! I hate having bad dreams that involve me being attacked. They always leave you with a bad feeling. I do hope your dad takes your concerns seriously for his sake. Your nephew sounds like a real great kid. Is this the nephew who made your day out so fun?! Hang in there CW! -
CreativeWoman said on Oct 09, 2007....
hillbillygirl,
I hate those kinds of dreams too. Last night I woke up trying to scream, but nothing came out. I would call that one a night terror. Hopefully tonight will be better.
UI,
I hope my dad listens too, but I don't have high hopes that he will. Hopefully he is keeping his sugar low enough that he won't have problems. The nephew that I speak about here is the one that made my day out fun. He really is a wonderful kid.
CW
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skald said on Oct 09, 2007....
CW. That man in the truck, I don't like him one bit. Yes, it is strange that the dogs are baking.
Horrible to have such dreams. I hope you don't have them any more. When real dreams like that happen to me. They don't come again for months. So, I hope you are the same.
You can be proud of your nephew and I hope your dad will be O,K. It´s good to read that your blood sugar is stable now.
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CreativeWoman said on Oct 09, 2007....
skald,
I hope you are right about those dreams. I don't like them. I hope they pass soon. I don't like the man in the truck either. Thanks for all your kind thoughts. :)
CW
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silverwhisper said on Oct 10, 2007....
jeez, CW, i'm sorry to hear about the nightmares. i know what you mean though about being scared by 'em--i've had ones that just messed up my whole day.
i hope you slept better last night?
and i think you and your sister should coordinate and let your father have it, both barrels, on the phone, one right after the other. he should know better than that!
ed -
CreativeWoman said on Oct 10, 2007....
Ed,
I didn't have any nightmares last night, but at the same time I could not sleep. It was well after 2:00 a.m. before I drifted off.
Believe me, the foot issue is not over with my dad. My sister and I will not rest until we can get that stubborn man into some socks. :-)
CW
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queenparanoia said on Oct 11, 2007....
i hope you feel okay now CW...
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