so the separated husband (now being referred to as SEP) and I have decided to spend a whole weekend together here in one house.. he's stayed for a night here and there w/out problems in the past several months, and since I noticed some really good positive changes in him, I offered to let him stay here the weekend, and even thought in my head- possibly more....but certainly didn't tell him this.
But after today, I am reconsidering, I don't know if maybe I'm making more out of this than I ought to be, or maybe I'm right with how I feel- I think staying here made him feel like he could start sneaking in some of his ideas about how I should run the house...
I woke up, went to the bathroom, and when I came out sep was getting the boys breakfast- ok, great.. I came to the computer to read some emails and he said "someone left the ice cream out last night it melted all over the counter so I wiped it up". I said OK, then why bother telling me? Turned out it was my 13 y/o. he's known for leaving things out. oh well, accidents happen .. he said "I just wanted to let you know".. um ok.. so I said "I threw the boys dirty clothes down the laundry chute, then I emptied a bag of trash from the kitchen, then I mopped the kitchen floor"- he looked at me sideways like "huh?".. I said "well, why are you bothering telling me something so mundane, I clean up messes 24/7".. he said oh okay yeah.-
then like 10 minutes later sep said "maybe we (notice WE), should get a dog door for the cats so they can come in and out".. (if I haven't mentioned it before, I have 5 cats.. I had mom and she got out, got pregnant before I got her fixed, and had 4 kittens that I won't part with)
..
Sep knows I won't let the cats out.. he knows.. and still suggested I get a dog door.. so I said NO, they're not going out.. he said "well I thought it would be easier on you not having to clean the litter box as often"..I said "I never complained about the cats"-
he's lying, this isn't about making life easier on me, it's because he HATES cats- one is ok, but 5? nooooo.. he doesn't like cats THAT much.. which is why I kept all 5 in the first place.
An hour later, sep says "maybe you should let the cats out they could use some fresh air".. I yelled at him at this point and said "NO didn't you just hear me?, they are NOT going out!".. he said "oh yeah".. this went on and on, he said it maybe 10 times throughout the day .. this is how I spent my day - he's an idiot.... and I told him when he talks this way, referring to "we" and "us" and "our"...when I never made the promise of a future together, and attempting to tell me what to do with my cats- I feel like it's his way of trying to regain control of the situation, relationship, I don't know.. maybe it's me.
