Last night you asked me if I remembered.
I remember the day as if it were yesterday actually.
Clear and crisp - the sun was shining and the leaves just beginning to change.
My mother had put a St Joseph's statue outside on the deck because she heard it would make the weather good....she wasn't leaving that to chance....oh noooo.
I remember my sister knocking on my bedroom door at 7 am......and then sneaking into bed with me like she used to when we were little girls....and the two of us talking about how this was going to be the most beautiful of days....
My mother was too nervous to eat breakfast, and at 9 am, the stylist came to the house to do our hair. The kitchen was transformed into a beauty salon. All of us running around in bathrobes....putting on make-up while we waited our turn...
The photographer came and snapped a picture of me in my corset and stockings and high heels!
That was silly, and i was laughing.
Then more pictures before the limo arrived; 15 minutes late!
I didn't want to be late! In fact, I was outside waiting and pacing when they finally arrived....
As we pulled up, I saw you standing out front with your brother.
You looked so handsome in your tuxedo......
that face- not classically handsome, but the most handsome one to me-
that smile - not actually a full blown smile but a cross between a grin and a smirk-
Your eyes dancing with the knowledge of possibilites.
Then you went inside out of my view, and they opened the limo doors and let us out.
They played the music as I stood with my father.
He was tall and so strong.
And he held my arm and guided me to you-
They call it giving away, but it was more of a gathering you in-
Joining two worlds into one.
I remember he lifted my veil and kissed my cheek.
His face was pale and i knew he was thinking how things were going to be changed forever....
We said the words-
But I'm not so sure we understood their true meaning.
We thought we did-
We were in love, and believed with whole hearts that it could conquer all.
We knew nothing of the trials that would come.
We knew nothing of loss or of sadness.
We couldn't even imagine lonliness or failures or betrayals....
What did we really know of disappointment?
And by the same token we thought we knew joy--- oh were we wrong there! we'd barely had a taste of it.....
Our parents were right there in the front pews-
We acknowleged their tears chalking them up to sentimentality. We couldn't understand what it really meant to raise a child to adulthood, and to see this moment where they begin a new life of their own....
I remember hearing the singer's voice
Oh, a man shall leave his mother, and a woman leave her home.
They will travel on to where the two will be as one.
As it was in the beginning, is now until the end,
woman draws her life from man
and gives it back again and there is love.
Mom had a tissue out and was wiping her eyes.
Your mom and dad were holding hands.
Your dad needed tissues that day too....
Our sisters and brothers stood together...all of them. Beautiful in their youth....
My brother had a full head of hair then-
And it was that white blonde that now belongs to his son.
We didn't know that soon one of us would be gone forever-
Or that all of these years would pass and we would have to say goodbye to so many-
We only knew it was a happy day....a grand day.
We stood together- there on that altar. Hands joined.
And when we were finished being blessed we walked past friends and family.
Into our future.
Of course I remember that day-
It was the day I said 'i do'.....
