• silverwhisper said on Oct 05, 2007....

  you know, i don't know what to say: i'm horrified and part of me wants to judge her, harshly. but i haven't had to deal w/ being a parent, i don't know what it's like to adjust to having my sleep interrupted and carry a baby places while doing mundane, everyday tasks.
  
  ed

• botoni said on Oct 05, 2007....

  MissMimi.....I cannot imagine anyone doing such a thing. Maybe, just maybe, in a brief moment of total distraction due to a major amount of stress something like that could happen. I still think its a total lack of paying attention to what really matters. How can anyone 'forget' a child in a situation like that?

• MissMimi said on Oct 05, 2007....

  I feel as you do, Ed, that part of me wants to judge, and to be honest, to some extent I do judge.  The prosecutor declined to press charges, and many in the community are outraged.  I'm not sure how I feel about that.
   
  Exactly right, botty.  I can't even imagine it.  Not that I'm setting myself up as a paragon of maternal virtue, but I can't imagine being so busy that my baby gets left in the car.

• beyondtheveil said on Oct 05, 2007....

  mimi- I had three and can't imagine "forgetting". I'm not even the mom and I never forgot for a second if I had a kid with me. I did see one count recently where there was a miscommunication where I believe the father placed the child in mom's car and she didn't realize it. 

• uniquely-ironic said on Oct 05, 2007....

  I have had small kids in car seats and no matter how inconvenient it was to pull them out for a 2 minute trip to the post office or other store I did it.  Especially in the summer.  It only takes about a minute for the temperatures to reach deathly temperatures.  One usually finds that these parents were sleep deprived, drinking or doing something that impaired their judgement.

• secretlife said on Oct 05, 2007....

  you know, i can't even imagine how anyone could forget a baby in their car.
  if you work, then stopping at day care is part of the 'routine'.  so it's not just forgetting a baby, it's forgetting an entire routine.
   
  i have a hard time buying the excuse that someone could 'forget'. 

• namyogrl said on Oct 05, 2007....

  Miss Mimi, I heard this on the news as I was being a labor coach for a friend, it made me so sad. I have never once forgot any of my four daughters anywhere in twenty four years. Our people really that busy?? What cn be more pressing than your child? I think there is something else going on in these cases, leave your kid alone for 1hr, let alone, alone in a car. On the news report I saw they had a bear in the front seat to remind parents they had a baby in the back, cmon, reallly have we come to this that childrens parents need reminding that they exist? Sad sad sad.

• evil_twin said on Oct 05, 2007....

  I've heard about this sort of thing happening a lot. Way more than I would ever expect. I don't have kids, but I can't imagine forgetting that my baby was in the backseat and then locking them in the car all day. It would just never happen. Mostly because even if I did forget they were in there, I always look inside my car when I lock it. I have no idea why, but it's a habit I have. And I'd see the baby sitting there before I actually walked away. But I still can't fathom how these people pay so little attention to things like that. Especially when it's their child.
  
  -evil_twin LA
  

• confuzzledwife said on Oct 05, 2007....

  Miss Mimi

  I am a mom to 5 and nope.. I can't imagine leaving them in a car while I went to work or whatever.. a similar story happened around here not all that long ago, but it was a daycare.. they left a 2 year old in the van and went on their field trip.. when they came back he was dead-  they forgot him-  I just don't get it.. I will never be able to reason this out in my head-

   It seems WORSE for a parent to do!   As parents we all get busy, preoccupied, stressed, whatever..knowing this,  I can't think of a single excuse or reason to 'forget' my child... it's beyond reason... and the daycare workers are paid 'professionals' who are supposed to be watching your child.. I just can't come to terms with this no matter what.. 

  Wasn't this the same lady who made sure she stopped by Dunkin' Donuts  to buy donuts and coffee for all her co-workers?  Or maybe that's another one.. ugh. it turns my stomach.

   

• simplyklo said on Oct 05, 2007....

  Nope, no excuses and I can't be as forgiving as you are on this issue MissMimi ... maybe the mother was a good citizen and well educated, but no good parent would leave their child locked in the car ... especially with the windows up on a hot summer day.  Hell, I don't even leave my kids in the car if I run out to use the ATM; they are by my side!  And I know I've had stresses and crises and the like in the past ... nothing could ever make me forget about or neglect my children.  She may not have been uncaring but she was definitely irresponsible in my opinion.

• the_infernal_optimist said on Oct 05, 2007....

  I don't understand how this happens, either, and we're pros in the sleep deprivation parenting department. I'm not going to judge though, because I don't know what all she had on her shoulders - no, I can't think of ever being so stressed/distracted/exhausted that I'd forget my kid, but I only have my own experiences to go on. She must feel horrible beyond all description.
  
  That said, I've never forgotten either of my kids anywhere, and can't imagine doing so.
  
  ~Infernal
  

• Eilan said on Oct 05, 2007....

  Mimi, I was trying not to judge the woman you're referring to until I'd heard that she had a history of leaving this child in the car and had been warned not to do so.  I know there was outrage about her not being prosecuted, but the prosecutor was acting within the confines of the law.  The people who are so outraged should be lobbying their respesentatives for a change in the law if they don't like it.
  
  However, if I were in a situation where my actions caused the death of one of my children, any punishment the court could give me would be nothing compared to what I'd do to myself.
  
  BTW--mothers who do this tend to be punished more harshly by the courts than dads are.  In the eyes of the law, dads are apparently too simple to be trusted with too much responsibility, so when they do something like this, it's to be expected.  *rolls eyes*
  

• wakingharmony said on Oct 05, 2007....

  I am with a lot of the ones above about judging....There sare the unique circumstances where the comunication is totally mis understood..and one can say what is  the confusion the main priorioty is the baby or child...yet sometimes that same priority can cause the confusion "I got the baby Honey , No Ill get tthe baby your not feeling well " ok but I feel better" ok We are all Human and the Stupidest mistakes are the most awful. I don't think that anyone relizes that as much as the parent!!! And I myself Like to say I am a rather Smart parent... I never thought of putting my child in a car seat that had been in the sun w/o /cooling it and putting the metal to my face.... But I at one time had so many children in my car between friends my own 4 and my sister in law and nephew... I had to go back in the house after loading everyone in the car w/ sister in law....somehow my 5 yr old escaped the car...went to PO (right next door) with gramma and i didnt relize he was missing till half way to town!!! I said it is too quite! What is Ed Doing ?/Hes not here!!! PANIC! he was.......went back, he was sitting in PO with gramma Walton drinkin Coffee  (of all things) I was Lucky....I can only hope people learn from this.

• LadyGamer said on Oct 05, 2007....

  I am sure that the woman is probably going to punish herself more than the justice system ever could for killing her own baby.

  That said, I cannot imagine forgetting my baby. But this is something to which I am hypersensitive so  *shrug* I cannot know how others think.

   

   

• polarheart said on Oct 06, 2007....

  All I can say is, "please dear God let me never be a parent who forgets their child anywhere".
   
  ((((hugs)))) Polar

• quietone said on Oct 06, 2007....

  I agree that this mother will probably

• quietone said on Oct 06, 2007....

  as I was saying... will probably punish herself more than the justice system is right.  The justice system is failing these kids.  I can't beleive that a mother could "forget" their kids are in a vehicle...that is bull.  If I sound judgemental, so be it, but someone has to stand up for the dead children...they died a horrible death...and the parent gets away with "I forgot"??  NOT 

• queenparanoia said on Oct 06, 2007....

  oh my... that is horrible. so sorry to hear about this...

• skald said on Oct 06, 2007....

  Yes this is horrible. I can not understand how a well educated or in any case a sensible human being does not understand how hot it gets in cars in the sun. I have heard of cased like that and I must say I can not understand how anyone does not think of their child locked up in a hot car. 

• dyingman said on Oct 06, 2007....

  This is horrible to say....
  Is she a working mom?
  If you spend eight hours a day not needing to think a moment about your helpless child safe in a nanny's arms or a day care center, why should it surprise us she can forget all about her for an hour or two?  Even a tragic specific hour or two when the mind wandered when getting out of a car.
  
  The mom-radar that lets a mother know if the child is safe at almost any given moment takes PRACTICE.  parenting is a skill too often belittled by supermoms who are insecure about their delusion they can be just as good yet dedicate eight to ten hours a day less at the craft.  Such arrogance.
  
  On the other side, I recognize economic need explains some of it (less than many will admit), and still others because they are self-aware enough to know full time parenting would drive them to drink.  These are good parents in a different way.
  
  Not to let fathers off the hook, too many of them go off to work when if they'd get over their machismo, they'd realize they are better suited to raising their children than their wives/lovers/girlfriends/baby-mommas.  If a father does this we blame a lack of maternal instinct when the cause of such tragic, understandable mind slips are equal opportunity plagues; a lack of practice.
  
  

• pickersplock said on Oct 06, 2007....

  As, some of you know, I'm so forgetful, I'd forget my own head if it wasn't attatched.  That being said, I never forgot either of my children, ever.  I developed the Mom radar.  My older son thinks I can read minds, as well.
  Is it possible that in some women, this "radar" never develops?
  I think dyingman is right.
   
   

• LadyGamer said on Oct 06, 2007....

  I think Dying man is WRONG.

  I'm a working mother. Just because I prefer to work to feed my children rather than beg on the streets doesn't meam I haven't developed Momdar. I have seen rather a frightening number of Baby Factories who stay home and collect that monthly check not have half the mothering skill of a rabid ground squirrel.

  No. There is no excuse for what this woman did. But blaming the fact that she MIGHT work for a living.

   

  BULLCRAP.

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