• lfbno7 said on Oct 04, 2007....

  I saw a program on tv about childhood slavery in the Philippines.  It said that many young girls become servants in people's homes, and they are treated like slaves.
  
  Even though you had a female president, I have the image of the Philippines as a place that doesn't have enough respect for women.  It seems like a place where the powerful are given way too much slack, and the rights of the individual are not enforced or respected enough.
  
  The strong will bully and get what they want, unreasonable and unfair as it is.  The "weak", and by weak I mean just not in a position to shit on people, will get used and mistreated.
  
  I'm sure it's a generalization that applies to everyone, but does it apply particularly to the Philippines?  Do little girls really get treated like slaves there?  Is that the attitude that pervades the place?
  
  My mom was very different than your parents.  My mom "wouldn't take any shit from anyone" and taught that attitude to me.  In fact, if someone was big and powerful and obnoxious, that is exactly the person my mom would target.  I think I'll do a post about her now.  "Greatest hits" of my mommy.
  

• ellamae14 said on Oct 04, 2007....

  lfbno7: Childhood slavery is a reality in every country and I know that it is also happening in my country but not a general attitude. In the provinces and remote areas of our 7,100 islands -this has been practiced but only because they don't know anything better. The sad part is that in those remote areas- education and human rights are still foreign. The gov't is trying to educate everyone and do outreach programs to seek them.
  It's mainly the influence brought upon by spain that lowered the stature of women here in the philippines. But there has been a general awakening from these bad influences- and you'll be surprised to know of how much the filipina women have asserted themselves. Childhood slavery is a very sad reality, and I am very much against it. No self respecting filipino will accept it as a general attitude or practice. It's practiced by those few who have been victimized themselves and now passing the same treatment to the next generation. Which is very wrong. These people needs to be treated.
  I beleived my parents only wants to protect me from getting hurt but ended up doing the opposite. It's because they were taught that way too. I know better, so i'm changing it. You're lucky to have a mom like your mom.

• ellamae14 said on Oct 04, 2007....

  and also, childhood slavery in the philippines though a sad reality is not really gender specific. It doesn't target only the women. It just so happen that the ratio of female to male here is 4:1. The females make up 3/4 of the entire population.
  The media -radio, tv and news alike- have a way of making mountains out of molehill. free press in the philippines really means FREE PRESS. The gov't doesn't have control over them. They can report anything they want - the repercussions and social responsibilities came late after. It's both good and bad. good because it means we can be sure to know the truth of what is happening in the country and sad because -media exaggerates and they don't care about the impression they're leaving to everyone who will be reading or watching.
  We have a strong sense of justice and morals. And we don't tolerate abusive treatment and behaviors. I love kids above all. I pamper my nieces whenever i can. :)

• lfbno7 said on Oct 05, 2007....

  When I was a teenager, about 16, I met a little girl whose mother was Filipino and her father was Puerto Rican.  The girl's name was Geri.  She was so adorable.  I went out with her and took her to the movies.  Her mom loved me but her dad said that Anglos are only after one thing, sex, and he told her she couldn't see me anymore.  Her mom snuck her down in the elevator to go out with me, but then we had to break up.
  
  Her father was so wrong about me because I was a virgin at the time and wouldn't have done anything like that with her.  I just liked to kiss her and hold hands.
  
  Those were the only Filipino people I ever knew.
  

• ellamae14 said on Oct 05, 2007....

  lfbno7: i've been reading about the reviews of other country as well about the filipino society. and indeed they also think that the filipino society have pejorative expectations to women and children. this is upsetting and depressing to know. i keep on ranting about the pigheads and sexists pinoy males that I encounter in daily life, but it doesn't make up all of them. And I still want to beleive that women and children are highly esteemed in my country- and not all our males are abusive. My brother is not. He's one of the most responsible and sensitive person I've ever known, and if only for one pinoy i'm not losing my faith in my people.
  you've known two filipino- i think that's enough. Our trusting nature could also be one of the reason why we are perceived as easy prey. I also think the puerto rican father was wrong about you. I've known you enough to know that you're honorable and honest. whether you're in your teenage years or fifties.

• queenparanoia said on Oct 05, 2007....

  part of growing up as a person is accepting your flaws and turning them around. then decide what you really want in life. i'm happy that this is happening to you ella. it's time to say no and it's time to think about yourself. this is not selfish. this is self growth... =)

• Trinov said on Oct 07, 2007....

  Hi, I really loved this blog--because you are so honest--- and honey so good--don't let anybody tell you otherwise......... Life has to be a balance, and when we tip over too much either way we can crash down. There is a famous Hebrew saying by a sage named Hillel, who stood for the middle way. He said-- and pay attention to what is said first: "If I am not for myself, who will be for me, and if not now, when? And if I am only for myself, who am I?"..............So the first way to health, mental emotional or physical is that we take good care of number one, ourselves...... I have told so many harried mothers,-if you don't take care of yourself -you are hurting yourself and your children for you won't be there for them. You can't be a pitcher that pours out all its water and then is empty. You have to fill yourself up with your own needs and wants and loves and only then can you be really helpful to anyone else. ......Although I saw this in others it took me a long time to see this mistake in myself, until I looked into the mirror one day and saw the pain behind the mask (not a smiling mask but a mask) and realized that I was giving after I had nothing left to give.... I don't make that mistake anymore, and I'm not being as nasty as I was in the time I took to rebalance. Another sage, the medieval doctor Moses Maimonides said that that the middle way is the best way in everything, and if you are too much to one side, go to the other side for a while until you naturally rebalance. So someone who is too sweet needs to be hard for a while and then the balance comes naturally. And someone who is a selfish bastard has to be a softee for as while for the same reason. But both extremes are unhealthy and bad for us... So keep going your way, and don't ever worry about people not liking you, like yourself and others who like themselves will like you. You don't need to have jealous, mean, silly, stupid, unconscious people as friends, they can only drain you. I wish you good friends: people who are real and have a human consciousness and brains that they use and emotions that are real and healthy.

• ellamae14 said on Oct 07, 2007....

  queen: yes, i'm growing up. :) I hope you find what will make you happy too. thanks so much. :)
  
  Trinov: what you said really made sense to me. Thank you for taking time to read my blog and giving me your opinion. It meant a lot coming from you. i find you to be truly wise and full of wisdom. i've been reading some of your posts though i cannot relate on most topic. :) thank you for wishing me well. I also wish you happiness and good friends.

• Trinov said on Oct 08, 2007....

  Hi, I'm glad my comments made sense to you. You have a good brain and a good heart. I'm not particularly wise, but I've been through a lot in life, and I rely or try to rely on those that are wise. There have been so many people who have written books that give their life wisdom or their life knowledge and those are the books that I try to find and read and recommend. Gary Null, for example, gave me tools to understand people in a way that neither Freud or Jung or Rogers etc could give. Lowen and Laing gave me other 'tools' so did Suzette Haden Elgin in The Gentle Art of Verbal Self Defense--a book that I definitely think could be useful to you in dealing with people who are verbally nasty, and often have power over you, such as a boss or a teacher. .... And when we read these books to be able to use their wisdom, we don't have to understand every word or every concept--we are not taking examinations on them but using them to help ourselves understand the world...My tradition, the Jewish tradition has many wise men, and I try to take from their writings something that is understandable and useful for me, and I don't worry anymore if most of what they are saying is over my head. I take what I need, I'm not being tested on the material!..I would love to see schools turn into resource centers which teach how to learn and grow and not just examination and diploma factories...And thank you for your blessings also.

• ellamae14 said on Oct 08, 2007....

  Trinov: I have actually taken notes of the writers and the book that you have mentioned.I'm going to look for them. Thank you for sharing.. I have not been in bookstores for months. But my passion for reading a good book is still with me. I love reading books. :)
  you're right, sometimes when you read, and it is good stuff- you can get lost in it. some writers are soo good and their meaning profound that you spend too much time trying to understand it all. I guess, it doesn't matter if we understand everything in it as long as it can give us what we need at the moment. I wish schools will be like that too. with a wider approach that includes personality growth of each students. Thank you for saying that i have a good brain and heart. but honestly speaking i can't claim it because i'm just like everyone else trying to live and do what I think is right.

• Trinov said on Oct 09, 2007....

  Hi, if everyone in the world were just trying to live and do what they think is right then we would be living in Paradise and not in the mess we are living in now....If only there were more young people like you!

• ellamae14 said on Oct 09, 2007....

  Trinov: thank you for your kind words, I really appreciate it. :)

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