hey, im writing after a very long time.. and it seems kind of odd..

 there is so much happening in life, that im finding it difficult to understand wat to write and where to start... im totally at a loss of words to explain wats happening in my life right now...

i started going out with my ex bf 3 months bak, we decided to spend 3 months together , and then part ways , cos hes getting mrried in a few months... i know it sounds real weird and unreal, but so is life... u can never really explain wat happens , just look bak with amazement at wat has happened.. i agreed cos i really love him and i wanted to spend time with him even wen i knew it wud bring unbearable hurt and pain alongwith it...

the past 3 months hav been amazing, i've been so so happy after such a long time.. we've done it alll , gone out for coffeees, long drives , movies... had the most terrific sex sessions... had the most amazingconversations ... but now the fairytale is over.. we've agreed to talk for another week and then call it quits... and i cant make out wat i feel right now..

im happy , sad , hurt , feeling deprived , feeling blessed all at the same time... im terrified of wat i'll hav to face once we stop talking , but a small part of me believes that i'll manage... but another stronger part of me is shattered thinking o him with someone e;se... my hear beats faster , my fingers quiver and my mind goes blank thinking of him marrying someone else, him doing stuff with someone else which he's meant to do only with me...

sometimes im just left wondering wat is life ???