Why do I feel like such a negative person?
I know that many of the choices I have made in my life may not have been the best, but I made them and now I must live with them. I chose to do medicine. I chose to study it and become a physician. Then, why do I try to convince others not to do it? Some of my friends actually do feel the same way, but just today I spoke with someone who was in med school with me and dropped out and decided to do business.
I was telling him how I wish I had done the same, and he responded by stating that he regrets not finishing med school everyday and is so proud to see his brothers now pursuing medicine. That was not really the response I expected from him.
His story was very different though. He was forced to go to med school straight out of high school because his fiancee's parents demanded it (otherwise he could not marry her). Yes, they were very very young.. she was even younger (14 or 15 i think at the time). He absolutely HATED med school and goofed off all the time. Finally a couple of semesters later, he decided to leave and do other things in life. He ended up still marrying his sweetheart and all worked out. But I thought he would have been happy.. I was just surprised to hear that he regrets not finishing.
My story is that I was raised to be a doctor. There really was no question. That is what I was meant to do, as spoken by my parents. When I went to college, I was pre-med and there was no choice in the matter. I remember during my second year taking a few business classes and absolutely LOVING them.... not to mention I made A's in them while business majors were failing! I even went to the Dean to ask if I could enter the business program. He said it was too late for that year, and I'd have to wait another year. So, I decided to forget it and keep going down the med path.
Well, I didn't get into a med school the first year. It was very difficult. I started working at that time, and really enjoyed it (pharmaceutical work). Then I got in after one year, but I always had a feeling I should do something different with my life. Going to med school also tore me away from my fiancee. He lived in another country so we didn't see each other for 1 year at a time. It was awful. I hated medicine, i hated being apart, I hated everything. I almost feel like I got so used to hating things that I tend to "hate" things very easily. And that makes me more negative.
I don't know. I wonder if people can see the negativity shine through my smile each day...I hope not.
