I’m not sure what’s going on, but in the past couple of months middle aged women have been approaching me in thrift stores and trying to make me their newest BFF. I even had one lady give me a hug and a kiss on the cheek! No, I’m not putting out, at least for women, so drag your sorry minds out of the gutter.
The kissy lady and I struck up a conversation over in the used books. I really didn’t mean to, but since she asked about a book in my hand I felt it would be much more rude to ignore her. So, after the minimum amount of small talk I escaped to another corner of the store. When I was checking out, she magically appeared behind me in line and wished me good luck and God’s blessing as she hugged me and gave me that peck on the cheek. I’m glad I didn’t stay and have a real conversation with her or I might not still be a lesbian encounter virgin.
Yesterday while rifling through the sweaters a woman commented on a sweater I had paused to consider. Too frilly for me, though the color was nice. She then put down her basket and started running her potential purchases by me, bringing up her concerns about color, style, etc. (!!!!!) I am by not stretch of the imagination a fashionista. I barely can coordinate my clothes on a day to day basis. I edged away slowly and sighed in relief that she didn’t trail me. Again, at check out, (maybe I need to stop buying things at thrift stores) she was behind me. Since our last encounter she had picked up a couple of items and showed them to me for approval. (they were nice, if about a million sizes too small for either of us and she still had the salmon pink dress shirt to torture her son-in-law with)
I’m going to have to either perfect my pissed off or my brain damaged look so that these women leave me the hell alone. I might even have to be rude. (believe it or not, it pains me to think about being rude to strangers) That, or I’m going to end up with a Bevy of middle aged, middle class stay at home women as my constant shopping companions.
