• dailyachesandpains said on Sep 27, 2007....

  Hi Queenie! 
  {{{HUGS}}}
  I'm so sorry you're going through this again.  Try thinking positive, remember?  Think about the fact that if you set your mind to it, you can do it.  If you choose to change your major, find something that will allow most of your credits to transfer toward your new major.  If that doesn't work, can you make a list of pro's and con's of staying in school in this field?
   
  Yes, I have been where you are several times.  Think positive, you made it a lot farther than I did!  I did it about 4 times.  The one person I was trying to please...not myself, my mother.  My Mother had me working when I was young and it just seemed like more work on top of working.  It was too much for me. 
   
  You will make the right decision.  If you were in your 30's, I'd ask you...Would it matter in 60 years?  That has been my new thing, asking myself that question especially during a panic attack. 
   
  {{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}
  Daily

• sweet_cookie01 said on Sep 27, 2007....

  queen... i know how hard the test is going to be, i have met guys who graduated and didnt take the board exam at all out of fear that they might not pass... un ang sayang... dont worry too much... i know easier said than done... just study, formulate and reformulat problems to help you review... sometimes when you worry too much you get mental block and the more that will depressing for you...
   
  as a rule i usually study really hard weeks before the exams and then on the day before the exam i dont study at and rest my mind, pamper myself.
   
  you can do this...

• secretlife said on Sep 27, 2007....

  i think you should take those exams and give it your best shot.  you've come this far and invested the time, so i'd take them. 
  try not to think about what happens AFTER them.  worry about that bridge when you get to it.
  for now......study as best you can and do your best.  then you can't have regrets!

• queenparanoia said on Sep 27, 2007....

  daily: thinking positive might help, a little bit. i'll wait for the results next week. thanks daily.
   
  sweet: i really dont want to take the board exams... i hate it. i'll study though... thanks sweet...

• queenparanoia said on Sep 27, 2007....

  secrets: yeah i'm gonna give my best on this one. thanks secret. i'll try not to think on this too much... 

• silverwhisper said on Sep 27, 2007....

  queen, why in the name of all that's holy are you even studying engineering? never once in all the time i've known you here have you said a positive thing--ever--about the field. are you studying it b/c that's what your parents want you to study and you're being the dutiful daughter? b/c your mother obviously seems sympathetic to your changing majors.
  
  look: you've been killing yourself trying to make a go of this. i think it's pretty damned clear that engineering isn't for you. you aren't stupid--i've been reading you for long enough to think that.
  
  you've read trav. it's taken him two frigging decades to sort out what he really wants to do w/ his life. and i'm sure he'd tell you that you do not want to follow that example.
  
  having said that: i think you should finish the semester, do your best, don't fart around on SC: study your butt off. you've gotten this deep into it, it isn't much farther.
  
  when do you have to register for next semester's classes?
  
  ed

• queenparanoia said on Sep 27, 2007....

  ed: honestly it was my father's choice. at the time i graduated from high school i dont know what course i should take so i followed what he wants. personally i didnt enjoy it much. but i guess i was scared because i dont want to disappoint them. if ever i would fail my finals i would not study for the next semester. i would take a break for a few months and find myself. i dont know what to do ed. i feel so lost about this. although i would study hard for the finals.

• silverwhisper said on Sep 27, 2007....

  i've always wondered about that, thank you.
  
  look: he's your father, and you want to show him respect, honor him. i understand that pretty well, queen. but at the same time, isn't he going to be more proud if you can do well in your classes, graduate w/ a good GPA in your major?
  
  i think that you and your mother should coordinate strategies on this and discuss it with him. as a team.
  
  [hug]
  
  ed

• queenparanoia said on Sep 27, 2007....

  ed: i doubt it if i could do that ed. right now i'm not thinking what he wants or what my mother wants. i'm thinking about what i want. does that sounds selfish? i just wanted to be happy and not feel this way. all day long i feel anxious and sad. i hate this feeling.

• silverwhisper said on Sep 27, 2007....

  no, that isn't selfish: it's called enlightened self-interest. your major in some fields determines what jobs you wind up having, and when you come right down to it, you gotta have a job you like. if you don't, you're going to wind up not liking yourself even more. i did a job i didn't like. i don't like what it did to me.
  
  ed

• mobil said on Sep 27, 2007....

  Life is a crap shoot Queenie, to stay in the game we have to roll the dice. Don't let this stupid test kick your ass. Get in there and fight, otherwise you will run from things all your life.........that's no good Queenie.........FIGHT.

• skald said on Sep 27, 2007....

  I think my queeny that what Mobil is saying is very wise. Good luck. 

• UnknownUser said on Sep 27, 2007....

  Give it your best shot.  I would study like crazy before my finals and then take the last 24 hours to totally relax.  I found that it helps quite a bit to clear your mind those last 24 hours.  You'd be surprised how much it helps.  Try to stay relaxed and focused.  And NO, thinking about what you want is not selfish.  It's your life and you have to live with your own decisions.  I wish you the best of luck!

• queenparanoia said on Sep 27, 2007....

  ed: what's much more harder now is that they think they know what they want for me. well guess what it didnt work out for me. i'll give my best shot though.
   
  mobil and skald: i am fighting for this. it just it get so tiring. and is it worth it? i dont know if it's worth it anymore. i'm so tired of fighting for something that makes me unhappy.
   
  unknownuser: yeah i'll work hard for it. thanks for the advice.

• dazed_and_confused said on Sep 27, 2007....

  Hi queen. Kaya mo yan. I know that exams are nerve wracking and quite intense. In this life, some things are just hard to get and achieve, you have to work hard, at minsan ilang beses mong kelangang madapa pero once you have succeededt, the rewards are far greater than you imagine and the feeling of satisfaction is enormous. Sabi nga nila masarap makuha ang isang bagay na pinaghirapan (lalo na yung sobrang mahihirap na bagay). I guess, what I'm trying to say is that, kaya mo yan, kyang kaya mo yan, you just have to believe in yourself, give it 200%.
  
  Naalala ko before, when I was so down dati dahil sa mga exams and stuff, sinabi ko sa sarili ko, bibigay ko lahat, at hindi ko panghihinayangan ang effort na ibibigay ko kung hindi man ako makakapasa, dahil sa sarili ko alam ko na ibinigay ko ang lahat, in the end, masasabi ko sa sarili ko na hindi naman ako nagpabaya, hindi lang talaga marahil napapanahon, or merong bigger plans for me. Ganun lang ako magisip noon. I guess, that's what you call fatalistic? LOL. (joke) Basta queenie, give it your best and God will do the rest, no regrets!
  
  My prayers are with you.
  
  dazed
  

• ellamae14 said on Sep 27, 2007....

  I've been reading your rants about school, and It reminded me of the same paranoias and fears that I've had before. The fears and pressure of these exams are what making it difficult for you. I know that given your own time, you can passed all this with flying colors. Ok, i know this is not easy ( else I could have done it before too) but try to study without all the pressures and extra fears. It somehow reduces your brain capacity. You have enough in your hand already. Try not to think of any other things and focus. Really focus. They're right. Just give it your best shot. And while you're studying - picture it in your mind. That you've passed. It works all the time. And withdrew from people who are making it more difficult for you. When I was to take my board exam, I went to the province where my mom won't reach me. She's one big pessimist. Then after that, the week before - I stayed in my friend's house where we didn't study much and enjoyed like it's a holiday. Maybe you can go stay somewhere else while you're at it? A change of environment perhaps? Best of luck and may you be surrounded with all the positive vibes and be motivated enough to do it. Queen, motivation is the key.

• queenparanoia said on Sep 27, 2007....

  dazed and ellame: thank you for your support i'm still trying to do my best. my problem is does my heart tell me to fight to? i know i can do this if i study hard but i think this may not be right for me... it's still cloudy for me. i can't make any decision yet. but i will do my best to pass this exams... i will do my best...

• rupert7 said on Sep 27, 2007....

  queenie, who am i to say anything? Is this right or not? If you don't sit the exam it is the same as sitting and failing? So relax, sit it and do your best. What happens happens! But you have come too far to just give up. If you fail do not let it be because you were too scared to try. Anyway - I think you can do it!

• moonriver said on Sep 27, 2007....

  i agree with secretlife... focus on your exams now, and psyche yourself that you need to pass them at all costs. it isn't the right time to make a crossroads decision. rest well after the exams. life-changing decisions are best made with a clear relaxed mind... good luck, my friend :-)
  
  

• Lioness said on Sep 27, 2007....

  Hi queen, I guess they have said it all. Just believe in yourself, kaya mo yan queen, maybe this is the time that you face everything squarely and courageously. I know you will make it.

• Battycat said on Sep 28, 2007....

  Hi queen- give it your best and see how you feel after the exams, in the longer term, follow your heart, what does your heart want to do? Your parents will want you to be happy above all else {{{{{{hug}}}}}

• brown_sagittarius said on Sep 28, 2007....

  good luck!

• queenparanoia said on Sep 28, 2007....

  rupert, moonriver, lioness, battycat, brown_sagittarius, thank you for your support. dont worry about me. this is just a plan N for me if i fail my exams. so dont worry. i'll do my best. i wont give up without giving my best. thanks for the support guys... =)

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