I don't know what to do anymore ... I guess I'm somewhere between concern for my oldest daughter, depression, and total anger at the moment.
If any of you read my post back along about my ex-husband telling other parents that I was dating a cocaine addict and making it sound as if I am holed up in my house doing lines all the time or something, then you have the most recent background. Hell, I hardly know anyone who's never tried cocaine - well, anyone other than myself that is. And if I didn't experiment in high school or college it's just not going to happen - I am in my mid 30's now - hell he even knows (or knew) that my only vice is alcohol occasionally ... oh and my writing and exercise of course.
Anyway, so the e-mail I sent him to try to point out the fact that our daughter could be hurt by the rumors he spreads obviously blew up. I knew it could but I was hoping that an e-mail would cause him to think about things and be less volatile than if I'd tried having a discussion ... we honestly cannot talk. His response was "You have no morals! I don't care what you think!!!"
So now, weeks later, it's getting worse.
We separated before our daughter started kindergarten. Any time that school photos or any other important event fell on his day with her, I always got to go to his house and help her pick out her clothes and do her hair. He at least tried to leave his issues with me aside for her but now he won't. School photos are tomorrow morning and of course it's his night with her. When I asked her if she wanted me to come do her hair, she acted a bit strange, like she didn't want to answer my question. So, I asked him. "I can do her hair. You put our daughter in danger and you are not allowed in my house!" he said angrily. I then pointed out that he didn't even send the photo order sheet over to my house so I could order a package too. His response? "Go to the office and figure it out yourself!"
Fuck! We were only together for 7 years and only married for 3 of them yet 5 years later ... yes, it's been over 5 years since we separated ... he is just as bitter - maybe even moreso. And to think that he was the one who told me he wanted a divorce and I should go file! I did the very next morning after those words came from his mouth!!!
Anyway, that's not the point ... I fear for how our daughter could be affected. I also fear that I trusted him awhile back and shouldn't have ... when I shut down my start up company just over a year ago, I struggled financially for awhile - I am still getting back on my feet actually and make significantly less than I used to. I talked to him as things got bad and told him my financial situation honestly. I told him I could no longer afford to pay the monthly child support to him or I'd never be able pay my bills and feed my kids. (Oh, and yes, I have a second child who I had on my own after our divorce and I never went to court to have my payments to him reduced even though I could have based on that!!!)
Anyway, at the time, I told him I couldn't afford to pay him but I also couldn't afford to hire an attorney to fight him in court. He told me that he would never want the mother of his child out on the street because it's not in his daughter's best interest, so he agreed to work with me.
Well, needless to say, and I guess I shouldn't be surprised, that was thrown in my face tonight too. He says I owe him $5,400. Well, I really could kill him ... I have some opportunities right now that could put me back at the six figure plus salary I'm used to, but who the hell wants to fucking take them when a little weasle is waiting with his hand out!!! He retired when I filed for divorce. Then, when he blew threw the $250k he received in a lump sum alimony payment, he tried being a mortgage broker. When he was given 30 days to accomplish certain things or lose his job, he packed his desk immediately and didn't even try. Hell, by taking in a roommate and continuing to get child support from me, he did okay ... he is now running a carpet cleaning business but from what I hear his Jeep can be found parked outside of local bars any afternoon that I have our daughter ...
Okay, I'm rambling - I'm sorry. I am in tears and also so angry that if he were here right now (without our daughter present of course) I would punch him in the mouth as hard as I could!!! So what do you think? Get an attorney with the money I don't have right now just to face any consequences of not paying him and having a verbal agreement up front and then get protection from the law by having the terms redone based on my current financial circumstances???
Oh, I will admit that before he hung up on me, I did totally lose it on him. He called me while I was on vacation this summer to ask me if I realized it was the 5 year anniversary of my filing for divorce ... I told him "No, but happy divorce!" Tonight I believe I told him something to the effect of "get therapy, get a hooker, and move on already!!!!!!' Oops ...
Oh, I will admit that before he hung up on me, I did totally lose it on him. He called me while I was on vacation this summer to ask me if I realized it was the 5 year anniversary of my filing for divorce ... I told him "No, but happy divorce!" Tonight I believe I told him something to the effect of "get therapy, get a hooker, and move on already!!!!!!' Oops ...
