Ever have one of those days when it feels like you're invisible or something? Where everything you say gets totally ignored by everyone? I hate days like that. I should have known the day was going to suck right off the bat. Apparently about 5:30 this morning I was talking in my sleep. I rolled over and exclaimed, "oh shit!" very loudly. Only I have no memory of doing that, nor do I know why I said it. But Natalie assured me I did in fact say it and I woke her up.
And I guess when she asked me what was wrong, I told her, "everything..." and then I went back to sleep. Go figure? I have no idea what that was about. But by the time I got to work, that statement seemed to make sense. It seemed like everything was going wrong, and when I would make suggestions on how to fix something, no one would listen.
One person in particular makes me want to gouge my eyes out with a spoon, and then shove my discarded eyeballs down his throat. He's one of those people who when you say something to him like, "hey, you should do this like that instead," he'll nod his head. Then he'll pretend to think about it for a moment. Then he'll go, "yeah....you're right....but I'm still going to do it this way."
You just want slap the shit out of him because he insists on doing everything the hard way. If you give him a shortcut, he refuses to take it because he says he has a 'system'. But his system sucks and I wish he'd just fucking listen to me.
And then there's this other person. I call them the Useless Debater. No matter what you say to him, he refuses to see your point. I'm not saying he has to always agree with me, but I'd like to be acknowledged at least. We were having a discussion about something that he said he wanted my input on. I gave my opinions, which I happen to think we're really good, and he never said anything about it. He just countered my opinion with his own.
So I reiterated what I said and tried to get him to understand what I was saying. Then he asked me what I wanted him to say about it. I don't know! Anything would be start. It would be nice if he'd at least tell me I had a valid point, even if he didn't agree with it. It's like talking to a wall and you wonder why you're even wasting your breath. I just kept thinking about a scene from Pulp Fiction while I was talking to him.
It's the scene where Jules and Vincent get shot at but they escape harm completely. And Jules is arguing with Vincent because he refuses to understand what he's trying to say. And when Vincent asks him what he wants him to say, Jules tells him, "we just witnessed a miracle here and I'd like you to fucking acknowledge it!"
Sometimes that's all you want. Acknowledgment that you actually have some sort of reason for bothering to speak your mind once in awhile. People often tell me that I don't speak up enough or that I'm not assertive enough about my opinions. But when I am? No one acknowledges it. It's like I never said anything at all. So my usual reaction is to go back to keeping my thoughts to myself. Why bother to share them?
But then I admit I get really annoying and just won't talk at all. About anything. I was so irritated after both of these encounters, that I just locked myself in my office. And when someone came to ask me something, I just said they could do whatever the hell they wanted because it's not like anyone gives a shit what I say.
Childish? Yes. But the frustration gets to me sometimes. I need one of those little stress balls you squish when you get mad. Or a punching bag. Or a dartboard with pictures of the people I hate pasted on it. That would be sort of fun. But for now, I'll have to settle for writing a boring blog about it instead.
-evil_twin LA
evil_twin posted on Sep 25, 2007
| views: 415
Comments
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PAPERBACKWRITER said on Sep 25, 2007....
Found this Website for you, ET . . .
SQUISH
I think, I will give this to someone I personally know O.O
the person needs major unwinding. . .ermmm, I jest :D
I wish I can utter words of wisdom, but I too would love to pound on something at the moment. . .squishing will not give me any release. . . XD
And yes, I have been there where you have been. . .here in Germany, they call it like talking to a wall. . .when no interaction whatsoever exist. . .communication should be alive and dynamic, shouldn´t it?. . . common courtesy, and all. . .you listen, and expect a teeny-weeny spark of . . .yeah, respect.
SIGH
But, I think, more SoulCasters would chime in, and share their own sentiments regarding this utterly frustrating one-sideness of communication, as it can often happen. . .
Warmest Regards,
paper~
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PAPERBACKWRITER said on Sep 25, 2007....
*you /one shares and listen to a person. . .
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secretlife said on Sep 25, 2007....
hey here in the US they call it banging your head against a brick wall!lord knows i've done that often enough-i actually think up caricature personnas for the people i work with ---king kong ken - who thinks he can push and push and push and use his strength to change your mindwillful wade - who whenever i deal with i have to have a strategy for how to make him listen to my ideas and walk away thinking they were HIS..patty panic- self explanatory.....a fire drill a minuteloyal larry, kooky kathy, share-it sherry, answer-man andy.....LOL....it makes me feel better to make up those names!!! -
evil_twin said on Sep 25, 2007....
paper--I absolutely love that squishy boob ball! That's hilarious! But I don't know if I'd wanna take out my frustrations on a boob. I prefer to touch those much more gently. But I have to say, it would distract me nicely and I probably wouldn't be mad anymore! But thank you for reading this and acknowledging me! What a great feeling, isn't it?
secret--I like making up names for people like that too! It's very therapeutic, isn't it?
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the_infernal_optimist said on Sep 25, 2007....
Ugh - feeling ignored/unacknowledged is awful! I tend to get pretty mad about that too, to the point where I just shrug when asked what I think. Not so helpful, maybe, but it really gets under my skin after a while!
I hope tomorrow is a much better day. It sounds like you work with some real gems - of the prized-by-dung-beetles variety.
~Infernal
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Battycat said on Sep 25, 2007....
It's a pain when no one listens to you, hope you have a better day tomorrow -
evil_twin said on Sep 25, 2007....
infernal--That's how I react a lot too. I'll just shrug or something rather than actually speak. Maybe it's a bit of a sulking session but I get so irritated, I figure I just won't even waste my breath!
batty--Thanks, I hope tomorrow is better too!
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tizzygirl said on Sep 25, 2007....
well Kyle.....that might be the whole reason I talk to myself. I acknowledge what I say without fail....it's never dissapointing!! I hope tomorrow is better to!! -
uniquely-ironic said on Sep 25, 2007....
I hate when you talk with someone who you know will disagree with everything you say, just because you said it. Worse yet is the person who interrupts you to rebut your unfinished and wrongly assumed conclussion with their own pile of crap opinion. Unfortunately I've caught myself being the "debater" on occaision. Sometimes I just have to keep my mouth shut, smile, nod and say "uh huh" while giving them an imaginary swift kick in the groin. -
lfbno7 said on Sep 25, 2007....
Oh you should hear my wife. She'll take the opposite side of anything I say. Once we had a guy in the house trying to sell us a huge freezer, and we don't need that, and I said so, and she took the guy's side, and then as soon as he left, she said we don't need a freezer.
It's a knee jerk reaction with her. She MUST take the opposite side of whatever I say, even if she agrees with me. If I say I want to go to a farmer's market for fresh fruit, as I said recently, she'll say that the supermarkets get their fruit from the same place. Like she has a PhD in farmer's markets.
There is only one certainty in her head. I'm wrong. Whatever I just said, it's wrong.
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PAPERBACKWRITER said on Sep 25, 2007....
Yes, ET . . .it is nice to be acknowledged. . .gah, I have not been doing that to comments on my blog at the moment = (
. . .procrastinating...and I was doing the talk about common courtesy [bad paper]
. . .and yes, that was the idea with the boob ball - hehehe...why squish when you can caress?!
thanks for acknowleding my comment :D
= ) paper
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queenparanoia said on Sep 25, 2007....
oh i know what you mean... i had days like that. like today... and it sucks... -
evil_twin said on Sep 25, 2007....
tizzy--It's true that when you talk to yourself you don't run the risk of being ignored. Maybe I'll try that next time!
uniquely-- That's how I feel with these people at work. It's like they only disagree with what I say, because it was ME who said it! It drives me crazy! Pretty much everything you said, I agree with.
lfbno--I feel your pain. Not only do I deal with this crap at work, but my brother is exactly how you described your wife. He will argue with me about anything, just because he likes to say the opposite. If I say it's hot outside, he tells me he's cold. If I say the sky is blue, he'll say it looks purple to him. Anything to contradict me.
paper--I think your boob ball idea was brilliant! Just looking at the picture made me smile.
queen--I'm sorry your day sucked too. Hopefully tomorrow will look up!
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queenparanoia said on Sep 25, 2007....
i just woke up evil... and that was yesterday... i still feel down... =( -
skald said on Sep 25, 2007....
No not childish at all. Well you must not let those guys get to you. Queen was talking about being positive and now she says she woke up evil. lol. Just think this is going to be a great day Evil and I am going to be heard. I´m sure it will work. -
evil_twin said on Sep 25, 2007....
queen--I forgot about the big time difference! Well, I hope today looks up for you and tomorrow too!
skald--Thank you. I try not to let these people get to me, but sometimes I just get so frustrated. I'm sure tomorrow will be much better!
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gingersoul said on Sep 25, 2007....
Paper....so funny you show up and what you do? You offer boobs ball to squeeze....lol..
It must be your pregnancy hormones skyrocketing?? How are you doing, girl? {{{{{hugs}}}}}
ETweenie......In Italy we say that these people "have ears wallpapered with prosciutto".....lol... or that they are a bouncing wall.......everything you say bounces back to you, no matter what you say...
Highly frustrating...
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nursecutie said on Sep 25, 2007....
Awww........sweetie :) I know how much this frustrates you but I always listen to what you say!
We already talked about this but I'll say it here too. I have this problem at work ALL the time. No one ever listens to me!
Grrrrr........it's so maddening! And the part I hate the most is when I say something, and everyone says it's not a good plan, then they do it anyway and it works well. And when it's time for credit to be given, no one mentions it was my idea!!!!
Hopefully someday our kids will listen to us sometimes........LOL we probably should not hold our breath though!
{{{{hugs}}}}
xxoo natalie xxoo
ps~Paperbackwriter, that boobie squish ball was hilarious!!!! LOL! I need to put that in Kyle's x-mas stocking............
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CreativeWoman said on Sep 25, 2007....
Evil Twin,
I'm sorry you had such a rotten day. I agree that a little acknowledgment goes a long way sometimes. I understand that feeling completely. I hope tomorrow is much better for you.
...And by the way, your blog is never boring. :-)
CW
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rupert7 said on Sep 25, 2007....
Yup, know what you are saying - thats pretty much my life. Mr invisible! -
evil_twin said on Sep 25, 2007....
ginger--I like how you put this: "have ears wallpapered with prosciutto" That's funny! And yes, it is very frustrating!
cutie--That is definitely the worst when someone else takes credit for your ideas! Especially when they said they sucked in the first place. They're just trying to steal your thunder. And really? I'm getting a boobie squish ball in my Christmas stocking? :-D
CW--Thank you for saying this wasn't boring! It's funny because I almost didn't even post it. I had the mouse hovering over the back button, then I just decided to post it at the last second! And you and I are in agreement. Sometimes acknowledgment goes a very long way.
rupert--I'm sorry you can relate to this, but at least I'm not alone! We can be invisible together.
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silverwhisper said on Sep 26, 2007....
CW's right: it isn't boring at all. :>
i know people like this too (don't we all?) and yeah, they're frustrating, no question.
when i encounter people like "system guy", i find that the best way to handle them is to use their system to my benefit. usually, i know their system b/c it's irritated me already at some point.
with "useless debater"...honestly, i just ignore 'em. it makes my life a bit easier, i find.
ed -
evil_twin said on Sep 26, 2007....
silver--System guy just frustrates me because I can't stand to watch him implement the sucky system, so I have to walk away! The useless debater guy always reels me in. He'll ask me something and I think he actually wants to hear my side, but he doesn't. And I fall for it every time... -
silverwhisper said on Sep 26, 2007....
i know what you mean about system guy. but with useless debater, perhaps developing selectively bad hearing is in order?
ed -
evil_twin said on Sep 26, 2007....
silver--From now on, if he asks me what my thoughts are on something, I'll just tell him, "I don't even have opinion." It's not like he listens to it anyway, so why give him something to ignore, right? -
silverwhisper said on Sep 26, 2007....
yep, there you go!
ed -
nursecutie said on Sep 26, 2007....
Hope you're having a better day today sweetie!!!*kiss*xxoo natalie xxoo -
evil_twin said on Sep 26, 2007....
Hey cutie :-D My day is much better actually! Very slow, so I'm playing around here instead. Are you going out soon? I wasn't expecting you to be here until later. It's a nice surprise :-)
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simplyklo said on Sep 26, 2007....
I hear you ... I used to wish I could put a dartboard in my office and paste the faces of my least favorite colleagues and bosses ... it would definitely relieve a lot of stress. Maybe a better way to do it would be a company sponsored kickboxing class or something where you can partner with one of these people that has really pissed you off that way when they hold the bag up for you to punch or kick, you can take it out on them!!! -
nursecutie said on Sep 26, 2007....
I'm glad your day is better!!! :) I did go out which is why I didn't see this until just now! LOL I just wanted to sneek on earlier and say hi to my favorite man :)
xxoo natalie xxoo
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moonriver said on Sep 26, 2007....
moonriver k'ung fu-tzu want to squish something too, real bad. a couple things actually. but not do them like stress balls, that would be so brusque. :-)
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UnknownUser said on Sep 26, 2007....
aaaaaah......the Useless Debater.....Don't ya just wanna choke the crap out of em sometimes? lol I've worked with the types you described. I actually got where "good morning" and "bye" was all I ever said to them. Then I found a better job. hahaha Was real hard not to say "bite me" as I headed out that door for the last time.
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evil_twin said on Sep 26, 2007....
simplyklo--I like the idea of a kickboxing class! That would be a good stress reliever.
cutie--Your favorite man thanks you for stopping by :-)
moon--Hmm, are you talking about the boobie stress balls? Because you definitely wanna squish those a little gentler!
unknown--Yes, I do want to choke the crap out of him! That would give me great pleasure sometimes.
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moonriver said on Sep 26, 2007....
definitely, dude, definitely... ;-)
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