• dailyachesandpains said on Sep 21, 2007....

  Oh Donna...I'm sorry!
  I always tell my friends
  NEVER marry a contractor, or anyone that can build.  Your house will never be finished.  You will actually have to hire people to do his job at home!
   
  My MIL is still waiting (2 years now) for my contractor BIL to put drywall up, after ripping it all down.  He's done a lot of other work there that he hasn't finished.  She couldn't get 50K for her house that is in a neighborhood of 400K homes!
   
  He has also started and not finished work at his own house.  My SIL is LIVID and he also does NOTHING with the children.  She can't drive his truck either!  She does all the shopping too and runs a daycare on top of it all.  My Husband (brother of MR. No good) always asks me "When do you think they'll finally get divorced.  When will she finally have enough of him!"  I honestly don't know since they've been together for 17 years and married for 10!  Doesn't look like it'll happen, ever. 
   
  {{{HUGS}}}
  Daily

• missdonna said on Sep 21, 2007....

  Thank you, I feel better just knowing I'm not alone in this. My husband thinks cooing at the baby 5 minutes a day is being a father. I jump into my work(poetry on line) every chance I have, it is also a source of releasing, venting anger.
   When I was p.g. I walked miles sometimes because Dan wouldn't answer his cell and I would be w/out a way back from appt's, etc..
   In the hospital after nearly dieing from a c-sec that was very difficult, I was in the recovery room awaiting Dan, I asked the nurses to please locate him as I thought he had got lost from the delivery room to the recovery room, they looked for him, called him on his cell, even paged him on the hospital speaker, he didn't show up.
  An hour later I still was awake and the nurses were amazed because with the medications I was given I should've been asllep, I guess my anxiety to find Dan was more potent(lol) because I wasn not at all a bit sleepy.
  I called home an hour later to tell my roomate to tell my daughter all was fine and I was so shocked when she told me how cute my newborn son was, I said "how do you know what he looks like?" She replied"well silly from the pictures Dan showed us" I infuriated that my husband had skipped the trip to the recovery room, hell he skipped the hospital, and went home.
  Was it just me overreacting to assume thata a new father would come to the recovery room and be with me for a minute to rejoice together over our beautiful healthy baby boy?
   That was only the beginning, he is not a father in no way at all,sad thing is that my 14 yr old daughter (her dad died when she was 16 months old) told me"Gosh mom, I feel bad for my little brother, and it kinda makes me happy in a way that even though my dad died at least I had a dad that loved me, my little brother had his dad here and still will never know him like me, but mom as both parents you've done a good job with me so don't worry, it's Dans loss as well as my brothers. I hate the fact that she has actually had to see that.  Donna

• CreativeWoman said on Sep 21, 2007....

  Wow, MissDonna.
  
  My situation is somewhat different, but I can understand your hurt a little even though I don't have children.  I get taken for granted by my husband every day.  I find it hard to leave because I don't have my own income.
  
  I do not think it is too much to ask for your husband to be with you after you gave birth to his son.  In fact, that is unforgivable in my book.  You needed to feel special and loved.  It doesn't sound like he shows any love toward the kids either.  You deserve better.  He's letting you down in a big way. Don't take the blame for any of it.
  
  CW
  

• missdonna said on Sep 22, 2007....

  Thank you very much for those words of encouragment.
   Every day my husband does something to annoy me and it got to the point that I moved out of our bedroom and into the kids room. He fits the title a narcissist. He is self indulged, selfish, always wants to be center of attention, needs praise, has no empathy, etc.
  He also is a liar who has had affairs, recently I read an email to him from a woman near his job site that I had my suspiciouns about, I read the email from him to her too, because I know how stupid and loud he will get if confronted, I didn't mention it until later that night, I asked him about that woman he denied even associating with her, he swore up and down, then I asked him to hand me some printing paper and there on top of the paper was a copy of the email, you wanna know how sick with lies he is?
  He became angry claiming I did that email to make him look bad, I tuned him out ..
  Recently I have been looking for a home for me and the kids, this is a big beautiful house but it doesn't matter, as long as he is here I am not happy.
  I look at him with so much disgust, he is a very very good looking man and has many women who in front of me flirt with him, I never react, I have much better things to occupy my time like my beautiful children, they are my world... Donna

• CreativeWoman said on Sep 22, 2007....

  missdonna,
  I hope that you can get away from him.  It doesn't sound like a good situation at all.  Best of luck to you.
  
  CW
  

• Battycat said on Jan 26, 2008....

  Good luck, I hope you can find somewhere happy and safe for you and your children.

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