late last week, some friends and i met for what would have been an unending session of chattering. but it turned out to be just me and another friend. the rest ditched for some reason or another.

this friend of mine was 5 years my junior and she has finished her graduate studies... oh no, don't even start to ask my age there... she's single, and well, me... i'm not. at least not anymore

we went to this place where margaritas and tequilas are served. over a glass of frozen margarita and a couple of onion rings we started talking about our frustrations and how is it her being single with a boyfriend out of the country and me, not being single anymore. i would want to say now that i am married, because the fact is, i am. and it's been over 6 years now. but very recently i'm beginning to think if my partner really thinks that way too. so, i guess i will just have to settle for the "me-not-single" notion, temporarily.

so my friend asked me if i was happy where i am right now... i took a sip of that bitter-sweet frozen thingy in front of me before i answered her with the ever practiced "happiness is a choice" mumbling i do everytime someone throws that question to me. to my amazement, a glass of margarita does bring out a lot of whimsical thoughts in me. i realized that i was telling this younger friend about choosing to be content with the things that i had at this point in my life, if wanting and longing for other things would make only make me feel small and unfulfilled. well i guess there were other things we talked about but sober as i am at this time, i couldn't recall them all. perhaps, another glass of that bitter-sweet icy stuff will make me remember the rest of the night and the story that went with it.

as for now, i'm just trying to capture some of my jumbled thoughts before i retreat to bed.