one of the things that will never cease to depress me is the way a lot of people drive. and i gotta be honest, it drives me nuts. no, strike that: it pisses me the hell off. yes, i just ended a sentence with a preposition: right now, not so much with the caring.
1. please don’t subject me to your stupidly and unnecessarily amped up bass. my car windows don’t really need the stress test. neither do my ears, schmuck, and if i really need to get your attention by honking at you, you won’t be able to hear it, and that’s vastly more important, you selfish, self-involved moron. i don’t give a crap that you’re slowly rendering yourself deaf: that’s your problem. i do however give a crap if you can’t hear me honking when you slowly drift into my lane because you aren’t paying attention, oaf.
2. there’s other drivers on the road, so pay some damned attention when you’re behind the wheel. don’t be scouring your CD holder to look for the next disc to throw in, don’t fiddle with a map while cruising along in the passing lane on a highway, and for god’s sake, do not use your mobile phone unless you’ve got a hands-free kit—and even then, continue to fucking pay attention to the road. i don’t care if you kill yourself, but if you injure me in the process, you better believe i’ll take it out of your hide. and bank account.
3. about the oft-neglected turn signal: its function is to alert other drivers that you’re changing lanes or turning. don’t try to be captain stealth and keep us guessing why you’re slowing down, because now you’re begging for an accident. i don’t care if my front bumper is usually my responsibility: it’s still going to spike your car insurance rates. and i’m a vindictive bastard: i will humiliate your sorry ass in court. in other words: turn signals, moron: look into ‘em!
4. SUV/minivan drivers: you guys take up a lot of space on the road. could you please drive like you understand this? is it so very hard to stay in your lane? do you need special 3-d glasses or something to see the dotted white line against the gray asphalt/cement of the road?
5. small car drivers: OK, you guys take up very little space on the road, and you know, that’s great. seriously. however, this doesn’t make you mario andretti, so get over yourself. the only thing you’re telling us when you weave through traffic is that either you really need to hit the john at the next rest area or you’re just compensating for your…shortcomings. either way, none of us want anything to do with you. go away. preferably at the next exit.
6. on speed limits: everyone knows that speed limit signs are just suggestions because the cops won’t look twice unless you’re doing more than 10 mph over the limit (except in certain special cases). so if you aren’t doing at least that while in the passing lane, especially on a highway, then get the hell out of the passing lane, now! you may not be in a hurry, but i am, schmuck.
7. rubberneckers, this one’s just for you: is a traffic accident so very fucking interesting? does it give your life meaning to look at some stranger’s maimed body or car? drive! it’s called an accelerator: step on it! get out of my way! go satisfy your necrophiliac tendencies when you aren’t fucking driving!
8. speed trap warnings: it seems some folks have forgotten that it’s common courtesy to tell your fellow motorists when you see a speed trap. you communicate this fact to others by flashing your headlights at oncoming traffic.
look: most of us are driving because we have somewhere we’re trying to reach. can we at least all agree that maybe, just maybe, it would be nice if we all could not prevent one another from doing that?
this driving rant brought to you by,
ed
silverwhisper posted on Jul 27, 2006
| views: 947
Comments
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Zayda said on Jul 27, 2006....
9: Turning ~ If you are turning right out of the right hand lane (unless you are turning right on red) there is no reason to come to a complete stop to turn into that flipping parking lot!!!!! (BTW, Silver, that rule about ending a sentence with a preposition...it's stupid. Break it as often as you would like.) -
JadeLondon said on Jul 27, 2006....
10: Right turn on red. Just because you are allowed to turn right on red doesn't mean you own the road. Pedestrians and people turning with the green arrow still have rights before you. 11. Honking. Honk your horn for emergency reasons (or at least, a really good reason). It is not for saying "hi" or for taunting the pedestrians. To silverwhisper: If my husband was reading this, he would be your number one fan. In fact, if I didn't know better, I would have thought you were him (at least concerning your views on driving--road rage). -
Alyss said on Jul 27, 2006....
LOL @ 5. Loved the Mario Andretti reference. You left out parents or other allegedly responsible adults who do not have their children appropriately secured in the vehicle. -
Zayda said on Jul 27, 2006....
The parents or other responsible adults who do not have their children appropriately secured in a vehicle makes my number 1 spot. Nothing makes me want to slap someone more than seeing them in the car next to me with a toddler on their lap in the front seat. Or to see a toddler or small child standing up in the backseat. GRRRRRR.. -
JadeLondon said on Jul 27, 2006....
Me, too (three?)! In fact, I'm surprised that I didn't think about that myself. Of course, whenever I b*tch about it to my husband, he responds with "survival of the fittest". -
silverwhisper said on Jul 27, 2006....
yikes...i've said that, but only about people driving like idiots who are alone in their cars. that's just a tad misanthropic if extended out to kids. as a non-parent, i didn't even think of child safety, but that should go at the top of any list. consider it rule 0. ed -
purple said on Jul 27, 2006....
Just this morning I was going 40 mph down a street with red curbs on both sides when the car in front of me stops in the traffic lane to let out a passenger. All I can figure is that driver feels entitled to put every other car on the road at risk for the convenience of her and her passenger. -
happykat said on Jul 27, 2006....
Ah, the driving rant. I guess I'll take this opportunity to add to the list. ~the passing lane if for passing, you dingleberry! Don't get in the passig lane and set your CC to 55mph just because you have a clearer view of the road. Pass someone and get the frack over. ~Just because you have a Mercedes doesn't mean you can cut over three lanes of traffic. The highway knows no economic hierarchy. Your Mercedes will get hit and smashed just as much as a rusted-out Chevy Citation. ~GET OFF MY ASS! That's right, you sphincter-head. Driving two inches away from my back bumber will not make me drive faster. I have more to add, but not the time. {arnie} I'll be bock{/arnie} -
carmachu said on Jul 27, 2006....
Dumbass, you live in NJ, what did you expect. I'm not giving my horror stories of NJ, again. YOU folks just plain suck at driving there. No wonder your insurance rates are among the highest.... -
Alyss said on Jul 27, 2006....
Plenty of other places in the world where driving is a potentially life ending event, not just the American States. Of course the fact that you drive on the wrong side of the road can't be helping matters... -
silverwhisper said on Jul 27, 2006....
[trout-smacks alyss] :p -
LadyGamer said on Jul 27, 2006....
I hate traffic. Always have. How about the ones who turn left by pulling out into the turn lane and then sit with their noses in one lane and their tails in the other, waiting for a hole they ALREADY made with their stupidity? -
carmachu said on Jul 27, 2006....
I hate the ones that pull into the -E-Z pass lanes, then realize they need a money lane and try and squeeze in blocking like 3 lanes. -
mockmog said on Jul 27, 2006....
Driving sucks. I once drove outside my home country, the speed limits are pretty high 60-70miles per hour, well in my opinion. And you can't even drove below those limits or you are definitely being *honk* at. I tell you, driving that fast is peaceful. Oops, did I say I was driving outskirts in the countryside? Haha! Back to home country driving, limit is less then 65KM per hour. Sucks? Try highway, 110KM per hour. Even worse? Try pedestrians walking across the whole dang streets as if they own them!!! This is crazy. Add to the sum, the motorists roaring through the streets cutting left and right and also right in front of you. Getting the picture? Every time I drive a car here, I get more and more frustrated. No wonder there's a lot of road bullies out there. The frustrations ate into them and turn them gentle drivers into brutal bully. -
anonymous said on Jul 28, 2006....
No you idioit speed limits are not suggestions they set for a good fucking reason. It is anal self centerd people like you that drive 50 miles an hour down my street which is posted at 25 becasue it is residental with many cross walks which are used by a lot of people. Lord help me if someone ever runs my daughter over because they left late for ______________ !!!!!!!!! Is getting where you are going so important that you are willing to live with the fact that you killed someone because you just had to get to where you are going 4 minutes sooner. -
londontemptress said on Jul 28, 2006....
Hi all, Am loving this, just one complaint though. No one has had a dig at Nissan or Rover drivers yet lol - possibly the worst drivers on the planet! I'm not one to typically stereotype, but have been driving for 6 years now and this is one consistency I can honsetly vouch for. It seems people who are nervous on the road, and find driving a worrying feat, all tend to buy nissan micras and rovers! I suppose it's a good thing that we can at least identify them in advance and make necessary adjustments(ie prepare to overtake), but please for heavens sake, if you're a newvous driver, you're a dangerous driver. Why on earth do you need to brake at random, or when a car is coming the other way on the othere side of the road and is not going to even come anywhere the hell near you???? I think the gov need to pass a law to secretly revoke licences of anyone who buys a nissan or rover and sends their v3 off to be registered in their name. That, or at least give them higher insurance rates and 6 points on their licence simply because by that point we'll already know they'll be a menace on the roads! -
londontemptress said on Jul 28, 2006....
Oh yeah, and on the speed issue... Granted, residential area limits should be adheared to. These are for the saftey of pedestrians, cats, foxes and squirrels. All of which shouldn't be in the fucking road in the first place, but don't have the mental ability to contemplate that fact. However, the UK national speed limit of 70 mph(which applies only to roads where peds generally don't/shouldn't cross) was set at a time when 70mph was in fact the fastest speed the average car could possibly go. Times have changed and cars can now go faster than this. The germans have realised this and it helps increase driver confidence, because they get the chance to practice driving at higher speeds which requires more attention to detail and greater driving skill. By removing the national speed limit on motorways, we'll also get all nervous drivers off the motorways, reducing traffic problems and solving many different issues all in one go. Also, on stopping distances. These are based on cars made 30 years ago without ABS, traction control, and 30 years of technological advances in braking. My car typically stops 3 times shorter than the stated stopping distances. I've tested it. This doesn't mean people should drive bumper to bumper, no - people should still leave a comfortable and reasonable gap. This does however mean, you don't need to leave a 2km gap between yourself and the car in front, can't you feel the uuber-rage of the people behind you building up, you bleedin' imbicile?!!! Close the gap, drive responsibly and intelligently, or get the hell onto public transport and leave driving to those who do it properly. Thanks(ooh I feel much better now thanks!) -
anonymous said on Jul 28, 2006....
To the imbecile that said people don't belong in the Fucking Road well here in US we have Cross walks for a reason and no it is not to slow you down. Pedestrians have rights. A Driver's licence is a privilege and does not give you the right to drive as you damn well please. I think it is absolutely insane that someone would think they have the right to drive as fast as they want drive however they want but lord help the person that drives the way they think they should. Well that is different they don't have the right to drive that way only the imbecile behind the wheel of the car that feels he is the king of the damn road can drive that way. Only he needs to be to ______________ no one else has to get anywhere. Those emergency vehicles don't need to get anywhere and even if they do well to bad I need to get to the pub, bar, store etc. -
hotaka said on Jul 28, 2006....
Each week I tell myself not to write a blog about bad driver examples because it would be an on-going blog of its own. I have driven in several places and I'll have to say that in Saskatchewan and in the Scottish countryside I encountered the most considerate drivers. Both around Vancouver and Saitama, Japan I have seen some of the most stupid examples of poor drivers ever. I couldn't believe it the first time when I saw someone go into the left turn lane and then blast through the intersection when the light turned green, just to get in the front of the other cars. Then there are the people who look left before turning right onto a road but fail to check for pedestrians coming from the right once the vehicular traffic has cleared. I have pounded on a couple hoods before to say, "Hey, I'm crossing here!" Even worse are the people who don't stop at the stop sign or the edge of the crosswalk and rush right up to you before stopping a metre from your knees when you are crossing at a crosswalk. And last (for now) how about the third and forth car turning through the intersection after the light has already gone red? My light is green and my lane is starting to move forward but still one or two guys more have to turn in front of me. Do you want to be hit? -
WeirdWorld said on Jul 28, 2006....
silverwhisper, if you are online can you do me a favor please??Can you please message that jerk TNP(slimey-creepy-crawly) to read a blog, i have written especially for him, cause he seems to think that i am messaging him using another ID. And i am blocked from his blogs, i cant do it. I know you dont want to message that creep also, but please i am asking you for a favor, message as Anonymous, but please do it. And tell him that also whatever i want to say about him i have put on my blogs already, i dont need to create another ID for him. -
sweetums0001 said on Jul 28, 2006....
the cops where I live DO enforce the speed limit. It sucks!! They seriously lay in wait amongst car dealer ships and in bends in the road waiting for the unexpecting speeder to happen by. Unfortunately, I have fallen pray to these tactics in the past. -
Alyss said on Jul 28, 2006....
LOL about the Micras & Metros. One of my sibs had a micra. It was _the_ most unrelaible car ever and the security engine lock kept engaging even though she had the keys. It would initiate even when said sib was driving. It was part exchanged for Ka. Now there's a car with a pretentious name. -
'smereldazfriend said on Jul 28, 2006....
...and please pedestrians, yes you do have the right of way... in the cross walk! If you must jay walk (which is also a ticketable offense) then do so quickly, not at a saunter. -
silverwhisper said on Jul 29, 2006....
i love how anonymous folks think their opinions matter. :> ed -
PencilDragon said on Jul 30, 2006....
May I respectfully suggest a switch to decaf? You are going to spend entirely to much time on the road as it is, so driving should be made as fun as humanly possible. 1. I agree, for the most part I like what I am listening to better than what you are listening to, so you listen to what you want to and I'll listen to what I want to. 2. Apparently silverwhisper is stuck back in the days of DOS and has never heard of multitasking. Driving can be done quite happilly while eating, talking on a cellphone, listening to CDs, changing CDs and whatnot. Though I will admit it would be better if CDs had bigger labels for ease of telling at a glance. 3. Maybe you should inform auto manufacturers turn signals are supposed to stay working with only minimal maintenance? That said, if your turn signals don't work, pay special attention to your manuevering because it is harder for the other guy to figure out, make sure have plenty of space and whatnot. 4. I actually fully agree without comments. 5. Playing Mario Andretti is fun, and I'm torn between admiration and fear of those who do it regularly. 6. Agree fully. 7. Driving is boring. Anything that leavens the routine is worth looking at. But that's okay, I'll slow down a bit to look at anything interest. On a related note, if you are going to put hard to read bumper stickers on your car you should forfeit the right to complain about someone driving atop your bumper to read them. 8. Fully agree. Unpopular or not, I posted this under my own name. Cheerio -
silverwhisper said on Jul 30, 2006....
pencildragon: 2. people's multi-tasking skills generally [i]suck[/i] and IMX range from poor to non-existent. and multi-tasking while driving is just bad. :> ed -
hotaka said on Jul 30, 2006....
I had to give up peeling potatoes for dinner while driving because it was just getting too risky while choosing what winter wear to order from the catalog. -
Alyss said on Jul 31, 2006....
[color=deepskyblue] ROFL @ hotaka. I am supremely skilled at multi tasking but would no way attempt to multi-task beyond the essential whilst driving. If I am behind the steering wheel, the mobile is switched off, the cd changer is loaded, so no fiddling with the radio and the kids are expected to be quiet.[/color] -
silverwhisper said on Jul 31, 2006....
new addition: if you are driving [i]below[/i] the speed limit, the road does not permit passing and there's only one lane of traffic going in that direction, [i]pull the fuck over[/i], shithead. ed -
hotaka said on Aug 01, 2006....
silverwhisper, you are always such a gent. This rant thing is the one blog where you lose your cool and your whisper is neither a whisper nor is it silver. I am not passing judgement. I am merely making an observation. And smirking while doing so. I am glad to see I am not the only one irrited to hell with those cranium excretia. Bring on the BIRD - both barrels! -
silverwhisper said on Aug 01, 2006....
[chuckles] thanks, hotaka. you're kind to say so. :> ed -
hotaka said on Aug 01, 2006....
Are you just being kind because I have two loaded birds? Ha, ha. (sigh) Ah, there's a joke about drunk chicks in there somewhere... -
silverwhisper said on Aug 01, 2006....
LOL! -
ecofriendly said on Aug 05, 2006....
Well I did see a Volvo change lanes three times before completing an actual single turn in dual turn lanes. I didn't think it was actually possible. As a motorcyclist, these Volvos seem to be the least of our worries these days. I have a picture of a Volvo on its roof going up to the snowfields. Australian drivers are just as damn stupid. As a courier, I've seen some interesting things on the highways. One guy was actually reading a newspaper as he was driving on the freeway heading into the city of Melbourne. I thought he was a drunk driver but was horrified when I realised the real reason for his swerving vehicle. I've seen lovebirds pashing on when they are exiting off the freeway to merge into a main road...not just a little kiss either! Had heard of a driver changing seats with the passenger in one of our main tunnels, don't know if this is factual. Love driving! It's a buzz to stay alive out there. -
schreist said on Aug 16, 2006....
Heh well I'm stoked to find we share another common thread in our minds as well as in posts. ||{1}|| :D -
silverwhisper said on Aug 16, 2006....
that's really funny! or weird...take your pick. :> ed -
crybabylu said on Nov 01, 2007....
Lots of pet driving peeves, but if I had to name just one, I would
say, someone turning a U Turn right in front of you without any warning of what they intend to do. I don't care if it is where U Turns are allowed but if they are cutting it that close in front of me, then at least give me some indication what they are about to do.
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silverwhisper said on Nov 01, 2007....
that drives me berserk on the rare occasion that i witness it. i mean, c'mon--this is what turn signals are for!
ed
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