• Battycat said on Sep 18, 2007....

  I actually can't remember, I had a cry the other night, but not the kind you're describing

• beyondtheveil said on Sep 18, 2007....

  I don't know if it meets your criteria, But Sept. 7th and a couple days after when Dakota died kept me busy. It just came on at the strangest times.
  
  And I don't mind in the least saying so.
  

• gingersoul said on Sep 18, 2007....

  Ed.... remember Holly Hunter in the delicious movie "Broadacast news" with that gorgeous William Hunt? She dedicates each day 5 minutes to cry: she focuses on the negative feelings and let them go out of her system. Genius.

  Well...i happen to do the same thing but without even having to focus...it takes very little ...like a song, a line in a movie, a trick of the memory, a sentence in a book, the sight of a sick child or a old couple....you name it......

  Its healthy, i think...its a cleansing tecnique....unless i am on the first stage of mental illness...

  Sometimes i cry so hard i surprise myself...it seems like i can't stop....and my crying is no very pretty to watch, believe me...i dont cry like a lady....big tears roll down my cheeks and my eyes get puffy and red..

  but i like my eyes after those crying raptus .....they shine and my lips seem always having done some collagene injection...

  i cried surely a lot in my life......i cried myself to sleep so many nights.....i cried to feel sick in the stomack and with no more air to grasp...

  Sometimes i feel so helpless and stupid finding myself crying out loud, alone in the middle of the living room.....and i think:.can you be more pathetic than this?

   

• the_infernal_optimist said on Sep 18, 2007....

  Kind of embarrassing, but:
  
  See, there was this disagreement between two friends of mine (here), and I was afraid (though I should've known better, and do) that that rift might not be fixed, and it just hurt my heart...
  
  I shall say no more, except "It got better!" ;-)
  
  ~Infernal
  

• uniquely-ironic said on Sep 18, 2007....

  I'm so suseptable to my eyes welling up with tears.  A sad movie, a song, a story, etc will set me off.  The type of crying you mention doesn't happen much.  The last time I had one of those was when I was frustrated, angry and hurt with someone. 
   
  I also had a nice therapeutic cry over my knee 3 months after surgery.  I waited until then, keeping the pain, fear and grief in so that I could work through the recovery more quickly.   I know I'm not the only human to have a major injury, but it felt good to have that cry.

• evil_twin said on Sep 18, 2007....

  The last time I cried like that was when my grandfather died. I get emotional about a lot of things, and there were tears in my eyes when I got engaged. But I really don't cry like you described unless something really horrible happens.
  
  -evil_twin LA
  

• Pontius_Pilate said on Sep 18, 2007....

  As I would imagine that doesn't suprise you, it has been a very very very long time.
  Many years.
  

• tbs230 said on Sep 18, 2007....

  hmmm, a couple of months ago. Maybe early August/late July.
  
  Just overwhelmed by memories and the fact that I don't allow myself to show pain physically...sometimes I just can't hold it in any longer.
  

• rmuxagirl said on Sep 18, 2007....

  Just the other day actually.  And of course it was over my uncle.

• Eilan said on Sep 18, 2007....

  May 2001.  I popped blood vessels in my face and everything--looked like I'd been punched.  I was crying because that was the moment that I realized that my first marriage was truly over, even though we'd been separated for nine months before that.
  
  April 2006.  I'm not comfortable with publicly sharing the reason.  I will say that I wasn't crying alone.
  

• MissMimi said on Sep 18, 2007....

  About three weeks ago.  Someone hurt me badly, for no good reason that I could see.

  I remember very clearly because I was crying while I was IM-ing with someone, even though they didn't know it.  It was very bizarre.

• sweet_cookie01 said on Sep 18, 2007....

  just now... my dog died of heart failure in my arms.

• quietone said on Sep 18, 2007....

  oh sweet cookie I am so sorry to hear about your dog.  :(  that brought a tear to my eye just now.

  ed ~ the last time I cried like the kind you are talking was when my sister died. June 21st2006. 

• rupert7 said on Sep 18, 2007....

  Not long before I married my present wife,I opened up to her as much as I am capable of doing. All the stress and tension of my seperation and divorce from my first wife, the sorrow over the death of my "soulmate" which I must say Jenny understands. Anyway the floodgates opened and I lay in her arms and cried like a baby,I sobbed my heart out. I could actually feel the stress wash out of me.Until then I did not realise  much how it had built up.

• Zayda said on Sep 18, 2007....

  Last night, and I'd rather not discuss why.

• lfbno7 said on Sep 19, 2007....

  I'm a big crybaby.  I'll cry at stupid things like if someone on a tv show shows kindness to someone else.  Sometimes a song can make me cry, bringing back a memory.  I'll cry during daydreams.  Wahhhhhhhhh.  I'll cry just sitting alone, feeling close to someone who died, like my mom, feeling her presence, or thinking about someone I love.

• inspiration2jms said on Sep 19, 2007....

  It will seem odd but about a week ago I borrowed a lawn mower as both my push mower and my riding mower were not running.  We did not have a rain for almost a solid two months and there was not much need of a mower until after the last rain came and the lawn went berserk. 
  
  The friend I asked came and offered to do it for me.  He had filled it with gas even.  I told him that I felt that if I did not use what strength I had, I would end up not having any at all.  I was feeling pretty darn good I assured him so he left.
  
  I mowed a small section that took about 20 minutes and was absolutely exhausted.  I began to cough that asthmatic hacking cough that makes it feel as though phlegm is stuck in your throat and there isn't anything.  I did not know if I would make it back into the house but I did.  About 2 hours later I went out to try again.  I mowed a smaller section, determined to finish that, I stayed at it too long again. 
  
  This time when I came in I sat at the front window and began to cry almost hysterically.  (Which did little to help me recoup.)  I was so disappointed in myself and my abilities.  I am so sick of being weak and sick all the time.  I sat there, feeling sorry for myself for a good long time.
  
  I started at it again the next morning.  I would mow for ten minutes each hour.  It took me a week but I got the lawn done - finally.  It is not quite an acre and just three years ago I could mow it in a day with a small mulcher.
  

• namyogrl said on Sep 19, 2007....

  I have cried more in the past week than I have my whole or at least it feels that way. Big fight with daughter where she let me know that I did a lousy job in parenting her, next day got fired,two days after that eviction notice, then my computer broke, and the next day my car died on the freeway. Ive been have a nice pity party for the last eight days. Lots of gut wrenching why me, why now, its not fair, tears rolling down my face. So much so my eyes are swollen and sore. I dont think I have anymore tears. So things must be on the upswing.

• tales2tell said on Sep 19, 2007....

  The usual. Some bastard who thought he was James Dean slept with someone else behind my back. And lied about it. I had to find out from the drunken girl.

  Only he wasn't some bastard. He was three years of my life. Gone. All of those memories, all of those soul cravings. Gone.

   

• fearing said on Sep 19, 2007....

  I'm not here.  A figment of your imagination.  I'm lurking, sporadically.  ;-p
  
  The answer is Saturday morning - 6:30 a.m.  Specific enough? 
  
  

• silverwhisper said on Sep 19, 2007....

  battycat: perhaps that's a good thing that it's been so long?
  
  beyond: of course you don't, you don't hold w/ that crap about keeping these things in. in you i see a brother-in-arms, beyond--i am the same way, myself.
  
  GS: oddly, i've never seen that movie although i'm not at all surprised you have given what you used to do for a living. :> i like that idea, kind of a mental health maintenance thing...and GS, should you ever find yourself thinking that, remember that you aren't pathetic. ever.
  
  infernal: o, i understand well how a disagreement w/ a friend can do that. i don't think there's anything in that about which you ought to be embarrassed, myself.
  
  u-i: your health is certainly a good reason for that, if you ask me!
  
  kyle: i know you get emotional about things. i like that about you. :>
  
  pontius pilate: you're right, i'm quite far from surprised to read that. :>
  
  tbs: i've always felt that holding things in a lot isn't healthy, myself.
  
  r: of course it was--but you already know what it is--that blog entry title shows that you do. to me, this is a good thing.
  
  eilan: you know, i don't think i ever knew it was possible to pop blood vessels in your face from that, and yeah, given the history of your first marriage, i can completely understand that. re: april, i am sorry.
  
  mimi: somehow, i'm not surprised that the other person had no idea.
  
  sweet cookie: i'm sorry about your dog cookie. he was a very pretty boy.
  
  quietone: yeah, loss will definitely do it--for any of us.
  
  rupe: there are few pains sharper than the end of an ideal, IMX. you're a fortunate man that jenny understands. :>
  
  super z: i am sorry to learn this. :<
  
  lbf: ah, but what about a full body-wracking cry?
  
  janet: i have some idea of how frustrating that must've been, but i don't think it's possible to understand it completely w/out having lived it: the sense of your body betraying you. i'm glad you were able to get it done, though and that you found a way to do so.
  
  namyogrl: holy hell, that's horribly crappy! say, have you met ladygamer? you two appear to have very similar luck.
  
  tales2tell: welcome to my blog and thank you for visiting, although i am sorry that such a thing is what brings you hear.
  
  fearing: wow, that's pretty specific. and i think i can guess why...
  
  ed

• Battycat said on Sep 19, 2007....

  ed - Not sure it's such a good thing really, there are times when i feel i NEED to cry like that, I just can't.

• silverwhisper said on Sep 19, 2007....

  battycat, perhaps the question to ask is why you can't. are you afraid of something?
  
  i realize i never answered my own question: 9/12/01 was the last time i cried like that, myself, for reasons that largely were unrelated to the mass murders in NYC, DC and western pennsylvania.
  
  ed

• Battycat said on Sep 19, 2007....

  Maybe i'm just afraid of letting go. Do you mind me asking  what happened 9/12/01 , or is it just too private?

• silverwhisper said on Sep 19, 2007....

  i had a suspicion that might be the case.
  
  i'm afraid that's not something i'm interested in discussing. :>
  
  ed

• Zayda said on Sep 19, 2007....

  Silver: Yes, well, Monday was a rough day.

• wombat said on Sep 19, 2007....

  I don't cry "hard" enough often enough, to get it all out.  Not like I used to. I used to cry until my eyes swelled nearly shut.   Maybe I am all cried out, or learned to just hold it in--which is bad.  A few weeks ago, I was really, really stressed and tired, and the only way I could feel better was a good cry.  But I knew I still didn't do it justice.I wish I could go to one of those places where you get a back massage and are expected to cry and let it all out.  Or maybe a padded room made for primal screaming! (but then would they let me back out?)    My last really good, hard cry was at a funeral.  The song they played tore me to pieces. 

• genalonewolf said on Sep 19, 2007....

  Just last week when I thought I was going to lose my pickle. We are going through some rough times and she didn't want to drag me down with her. I do it alone and quietly. solves no problems but does releive some stress.

• hidufel said on Sep 19, 2007....

  Thats a very personal question indeed. I've been going through a lot of rough times recently, and my answer would have to be recently. As in this month and last. The build up of long years of lonliness takes their toll at times.

• CreativeWoman said on Sep 19, 2007....

  For me it was yesterday morning (Tuesday).  It was over a mixture of things.
  
  CW
  

• Battycat said on Sep 19, 2007....

  That's fair enough :-)

• silverwhisper said on Sep 19, 2007....

  super z: [hug]
  
  wombat: is it weird that i've only been to a handful of funerals and never lost it at them?
  
  gen: holy cats, it's good to see you again, man!
  
  hidufel: [claps you on the back] say as little or as much as you like, dude.
  
  CW: i had a sense it was a difficult time for you. :>
  
  battycat: :>
  
  ed

• hidufel said on Sep 19, 2007....

  Thanks SW... i yearn for someone to hold at night, someone to speak to in a soft voice, and someone with whom i can help in the same way. and ive been lacking that for many a very long year... its all just so very oppressive, and the cracks in the dam sometimes give way. There are times when i lie to myself in order to make it go away, but then there is the reality, when it rears its head and bites me in the face. the pain becomes unbearable and thats when the dam has broken. But it gets rebuilt over, and over, and over.

• silverwhisper said on Sep 19, 2007....

  i understand, hidufel.
  
  ed

• Pontius_Pilate said on Sep 19, 2007....

  Dayumed hidufel... twice now your posts make alot of sense. :poke: lol
  I will admit on occasion there are times when I can feel one sitting there, and trying to rear its head. Most of the time, I just close off the door.
  Others, I try .... nothing, simply nothing.
  
  :shrug:
  

• nursecutie said on Sep 19, 2007....

  It has been awhile since I've broken down and sobbed my eyes out.........but a few weeks ago I did cry pretty good over something. I'd been holding it in for awhile so when I finally let it out, it felt much better.

  xxoo natalie xxoo

• sweet_rose said on Sep 19, 2007....

  It was just two weeks ago. I cried harder than I have in years. Then couldn't stop for about 4 hours. I wrote about it in my blog. "I'm ready to share" rose

• inspiration2jms said on Sep 19, 2007....

  • namyogrl said about 11 hours ago....

    I have cried more in the past week than I have my whole life.... Big fight with daughter ... I did a lousy job in parenting ...next day got fired...eviction notice, then my computer broke, next day my car died on the freeway. ...  my eyes are swollen and sore. I don't think I have anymore tears. So things must be on the upswing.
  There are always more tears and they seem to come when you least expect them.  I have had times like this namyogrl.  The last two years have been much of the same things that you have described.  I take comfort in the fact that I can take it and that the day will come when I will be able to help someone that is not quite as strong to make it through.  It always happens like that. 
  
  Well, that isn't exactly true.  Sometimes I think the hard times are the only things that make us sympathetic to others.  I remember times when I was not kind because I did not take into account how I felt under the same or opposite circumstances.
  
  Hold your chin up and plow right through it dear, you can get there and make it through.  We at SoulCast are pulling for you as well.
  
  
  Ed:  I imagine that it was pretty bad as I see you as a strong man that, although he feels deeply, keeps it bottled a lot.  To have something happen that made you let go had to be horrendous.  I am sorry for whatever it was and I hope that you have been able to leave it behind or use it as a part of yourself that you can be proud of. 
  
  I know that when I lost my son, it was the worst; but, he is with me and I have done many things in his name that have made me proud.
  
  Janet
  

• silverwhisper said on Sep 19, 2007....

  nat: i've always felt that holding in things is bad for us, and hence sometimes bad for those we hold close, myself.
  
  sweet rose, welcome to my blog! i will investigate that blog entry shortly.
  
  janet: that was a wonderful, thoughtful comment to namyogrl. and what you said of your son reminds me of something the former senior minister at my church once said: that pain exists so we can sympathize with others.
  
  ed

• kruuyai said on Sep 19, 2007....

  How lovely to sign in and see my name right at the top of the Featured Posts page!  lol  I think the last time I really let loose was some time after the Farewell to Jolly... not immediately after, but within a week or so...  I was feeling really down, partially about that, partially about job hunting stress, etc., but mostly because of menopause, I think.  I think I can blame hormones for many of my really good crying jags.  

• silverwhisper said on Sep 19, 2007....

  heh...if you aren't careful, i might spend all 10 blogs/day some time to create blow entries containing your username. :D
  
  ed

• namyogrl said on Sep 19, 2007....

  Inspiration - THANK YOU so much for your kind words, I know that with some good shoulders to lean on and the kindness I have found here I will be able to have brighter days.

• LadyGamer said on Sep 19, 2007....

  I no longer have the luxury of that ... activity.

• silverwhisper said on Sep 19, 2007....

  it's one of life's least expensive luxuries, i've always felt.
  
  ed

• wombat said on Sep 19, 2007....

  silverwhisper:  No, it is not weird to not "lose it" at a funeral.  Man, or woman--everyone handles these differently I would imagine.  Usually, I hold it together, too--I just don't want to "go there."  The funeral I mentioned was for my BIL whom I mention often, because he was so special.  The song they played was "He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother."  This got to me, as my husband spent most of his life pushing, pulling and carrying him, as he had MS.  It was beautiful and way too sad at the same time.  Anyway, it is good to be able to say, "a handful of funerals."  That is a blessing in itself.

• silverwhisper said on Sep 21, 2007....

  you're right, it is. my sympathies re: your brother-in-law.
  
  ed

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