Things I will never be able to say to mom.
How can some one become more childish as they get older? She is 50+ years old and it seems like the older she gets the more selfish and emotional she gets. She is getting more and more capricious and less and less observant. She talks like a 4 year old and cant understand why that annoys me. I love her and have tremendous respect for her, still. I don’t think I will realy loose respect for her until I understand what is happening to her.
Qualities that annoy the hell out of me:
Loud
Pointlessly verbose
Selfish
Lack of observation skills
It is an odd thing to call her selfish. You see; she makes massive physical sacrifices for her class and family, her devotion to educational service is profound. And it is in those sacrifices that she is selfish, she racks her body with injury and will pay no addition to reasonable physical limits. So she hurt her self, and every pain she feels I feel. And every day she has to spend in drug addled stupor I suffer. Her unwillingness to accept her own physical limits leads our entire family to pain and stress. And some times she is willing to put her family through sharp emotional pain and physical/finical suffering because of some thing that she just has to have. Naturally I can not voice any of this to her as she is so easily offended.
I need some help, I need some perspective. I have so many questions in trying to understand this emotional mess.
Ps. she is a stoner.
I do this occasionally as well (maybe a few times a year), but a conservative guess
for her habit is that she smokes pot 2 times a week. The fact that she thinks she can
hid it form me, living much of her daily life stoned is infuriating. especially after she put through the ringer when she caught me doing to young.
