• vacantmind said on Sep 13, 2007....

  I'm sorry to hear this. It is important to understand that this young girl is hurting and there is something she can't say. If you speak with her don't tell her that this awful, bad, etc. Just tell her you wish she could tell you more about why she feels she needs to do this. Then just listen, no judgment, wrong or right. How she feels can't be wrong, it is what she is experiencing. She needs an outlet and maybe findng an online journal or a personal one that she feels is safe from prying eyes would help. Or maybe you could build a relationship where you email her each day. Just letting her know she is loved.

• Battycat said on Sep 13, 2007....

  Thanks vacant, it's actually going to be quite hard to get a supportive relationship going with her, she doesn't talk on the phone very easily, and she's very shy. I'm not suposed to even know about it yet, (as far as she is concerned).
  Apparently shes been writing lyrics, which are very sad. I think only her best friend has seen them.  Her best friend told her mother, who told my sister in law, so its all just come out today.
  Thanks for the advise, i'll let you know how she gets on.

• secretlife said on Sep 13, 2007....

  i hope she's getting some therapy.  this isn't something that parents can deal with effectively. Support is one thing.  Showing love another.  But only a professional can offer the type of help she needs.
   
  my 17 yr old had a friend whose girlfriend would cut herself.
  she had some very serious issues....depression being one.
  the medication has helped her.
   
   
   

• Battycat said on Sep 13, 2007....

  Hi Secret - I hope to god she'll get professional help to, i'm sure she's depressed as well, she needs the help now. As an Aunt i feel i have little influence.

• Me-Myself&I said on Sep 14, 2007....

  none of my family has any self-harm actions, but i had a friend who hit his head
  on walls, or slams his fists into a wall.  I ask one time why....he said it felt better than the pain that was inside his head....one pain replaced another. 
  It's awful to think of someone who is in some much pain ...that they hurt themself!
  I hope your niece can get help and find Peace! take care  see ya

• uniquely-ironic said on Sep 14, 2007....

  my ex BF's family had a lot of cutters, suicidal and depression in it.  His sister cut regularly.  I'm not sure what you can do to help other than to make sure she gets counciling and if neccesary medication.  I have in the past spent nights up keeping watch over her to make sure she didn't attempt suicide and even then I felt powerless to offering her solutions.

• Battycat said on Sep 14, 2007....

  My sister in law spoke to someone who runs a support group who deals with this sort of thing. Apparently he said not to worry, it's just a phase!!!!!!!!!!
  I'm not convinced, I think she needs to be seen by her GP.
  I don't think my sister in law will take it seriously now she's been told that, I don't think she has any understanding of depression. This man also said she didn't need to tell the school, I just can't believe it. What do you think, I don't want to start interfering - help

• vacantmind said on Sep 14, 2007....

  As you have seen here on SC cutting isn't a phase. It can last through to adulthood. I can't believe a professional gave her such non-sense for advice. Some kids do this to fit in with their peers but that just shows they are struggling as well. I have seen many kids who do this and none of them were phases. It really makes me angry that someone would tell her that.

  Telling the school could very well backfire for your neice. If she doesn't have anyone treating her as a normal individual she may always feel as if something is wrong with her. If there is a threat of suicide then yes the school should be notified. I don't think cutting has to do with suicide. It is used primarily as a way to survive, to feel, and to cope. Your neice needs to know that help is there if she chooses to take it though.

  I hope her mother sees through this persons ignorance and seeks another opinion.  A trained psychiatrist who specializes in self-mutilation would be preferred.

• Battycat said on Sep 14, 2007....

  Thanks vacant, i'm glad for your input, I thought the school should know, but I can see she shouldn't be made to feel different. I hope she will see a doctor, it's very difficult when you're a childless aunt, people don't really want to know your opinion, and I wouldn't give it unasked, but I can remember how I felt at that age, I'm not convinced that her parents do - is that an awful thing to say.

• vacantmind said on Sep 14, 2007....

  No, I don't think that is awful. Sometimes it is a fact. Depression has genetic links and maybe you can approach it in that way. I hope the best for your neice and that she finds the strength to love herself.

Comment on "Self harm"

Currently tagged	cutting self harm (Click to add tags below)
Tag this post	(Separate tags using commas, for example: New York, dating, vegetarian)
Your comment