• silverwhisper said on Sep 06, 2007....

  the simple truth is that most people don't see school as you did. hell, the only reason i put up w/ school is b/c i knew it was necessary.
  
  i hope someone who's a parent and has been there has something meaningful to add, b/c heaven knows i don't.
  
  ed

• Zayda said on Sep 06, 2007....

  I am fully aware of that simple truth, Silver. You know, the little man's Dad really liked school as well. So...neither of us really know what to do about his dislike of school so soon.
  
  
  Did you dislike school at age 6? Or did the dislike develop later in the tween or teen years?

• wombat said on Sep 06, 2007....

  There are way too many factors to give a pat answer--but I will say that when mine started school, I was on the phone to "Hooked on Phonics" within a day or two.  He refused to even try to do the little homework assignments.  I got all scared and felt guilty that I hadn't prepared him for school.  It all passed shortly.  He did fine--and by the time he graduated from high school--he was a computer whiz and loved school.  That's a big leap I just made there, I know.  But it comes in small steps, and mostly without the parents even knowing all that is going on. Yours will find out in his own time who he is and what is going on.  I bet he will fall into a routine soon.

• silverwhisper said on Sep 06, 2007....

  i disliked it b/c it made me get out of bed, then deal w/ people i didn't know, super z.
  
  that never really went away in any meaningful fashion until i was in 5th or 6th grades, to be honest, and i don't think there's a blessed thing that would have eased that transition for me.
  
  i am hoping desperately that your son shares as few of my preconceptions as possible.
  
  well, beyond knowing that star wars is teh shiz, of course... :>
  
  ed

• LadyGamer said on Sep 06, 2007....

  I have one that didn't like having the playtime disrupted.

  So I just made learning fun. At the grocery store we counted and you know what I am saying.

   But I connected the fun with mom and learning, like in school, and she had the good fortune of getting a very maternal teacher who listened when I said a pat on the head would go a long way. That made the difference.

  She's in third grade now, and just really getting multiple pages of homework, so we are bogging down a little again, but she LIKES her teacher and what she's learning. She just wants to know why she has to learn so MUCH!

• Zayda said on Sep 06, 2007....

  silver--he already thinks star wars is teh shiz. :)
  
  
  LG--thanks. i'm hoping that i'm just panicking a bit right now. he loves figuring out new things, and counting, and signing, and making patterns. but only when he wants to do it or when it's not sitting down to do homework. and lord how mercy how much he hates playtime being disrupted. but then, don't we all? i mean who wants to actually work when they can play? :)
  
  
  wombie--yes, there are many factors. and it may be that he just needs some more time to settle into a routine

• polarheart said on Sep 06, 2007....

  Hi Zayda, well as you know Tigger is only 3.5. When he started going to nursery school long time ago for one day a week and would cry, I would emphasise that he was getting big now and more independent.  And every time he said he didn't want to go I reminded him how brave, clever and big he was and that it was good for him to learn new things. 

  It took some time before he changed his thinking, but I think this is another one of those times that we as parents just have to be consistent in how we reply / respond to our children.  If we want to influence our kids positively we should continue to be positive about things, like school, which a lot of people are negative about. 

  I hope that school will slowly but surely grow on him. . .I'm sure it will :-)

• petitepapillon said on Sep 07, 2007....

  I'm not a parent, but I think, with time, school will grow on him. He may not like it like you and your husband did, but he'll soon understand how important it is.
   
  Just keep telling him positive things about school about how it'll help him be whatever he wants to be when he grows up.

• destinydiva said on Sep 07, 2007....

  I never liked school from the first day!!
  but that was because I didnt wanna learn about boring stuff!! I wanted to use my imagination and time doing better things :-)
  
  I think only 3 weeks in, he is probley just getting used to the life change, my daughter just started she is only four and was at nursery 5 mornings a week and was defo ready for school, she used to moan it wasnt fair that her older sister got to stay there all day and she only had the morning!! so I guess I'm lucky in that sense.
  I will be suprised if she struggles settling in.
  
  My eldest daughter though didnt like school, she found the longer days a real struggle, I remember worrying just like you are now, she still isnt a big fan of school, but she did settle in eventually, I wouldnt worry, I bet by christmas he will be loving it!! or at least not hating it ! :-)
  
  Destiny xx
  

• quietone said on Sep 07, 2007....

  Maybe your son is just bored, maybe he is above average for his class.  this is sometimes why some kids "get bored" easily and loose interest.  Could this be a possiblility? You know your son way better than I.  But, I am sure he will be okay...not as intent on school as his mom maybe...but that is okay. 

• lioneljay said on Sep 07, 2007....

  Get a grip, Z. He's only had a few days of school and he's still adjusting to a new schedule, a new teacher, some new classmates, and maybe even a different and longer walk to the playground for recess.
  
  Give him some time and soon he'll get super involved in a project or find a new friend who is also developing an interest in differential equations and life will be just fine.
  
  On the other hand, maybe his body is not getting all the nutrition he needs and so it's using this gambit to persuade you to give him a daily fluffernutter to restore homeostasis.
  

• phantomblogger said on Sep 07, 2007....

  I go throught the same thing with my daughter and she is in the 7th grade. She use to love school because of recess. She also says its no fun no more because there is no recess. She says its boring and no fun. I was disappointed also, but to hear other parents say the same thing it doesn't bother me as much. I remember not liking it so much either now that I think of it. I would just suggest stay involved in his school work and what is going on. I have to stay involved so my daughter doesn't divert her attention on other not so nice things going on the school, honestly I have to stay on top of her, but she will thank me later and its part of parenting. Dont fret..

• GrapeKoolaid said on Sep 07, 2007....

  School's like a prison.  The fact that kids get "taken" to school on a bus makes it more oppressive.  Little difference between prison buses and school buses.  One just has a door that locks.  School to me, was like a day-prison, where the only difference between school and prison was that in school, you were let out at 2:45.  
  
  Too late did I learn the value of education.  Too late did my thirst for knowledge come.  I am now a big advocate of independent learning and home schools.  Sure, home schooling creates socially maladjusted kids, but I don't think children would fare much better being taught by lazy, unionized hacks and pervo kiddie-touchers. 
  

• Expendable said on Sep 07, 2007....

  This is his first time in a school, right? It's strange and he doesn't understand it yet. But he understands playing. That's why there's recess.

• destinydiva said on Sep 07, 2007....

  @ grape ...lmao!!  I so agree !! I hated school and always saw it as being like a prison :-)
  I did eentually learn the value of education but as you....a little too late, I think the importance is liking what you study! especially as you reach high school age.
  
  
  
  

• GrapeKoolaid said on Sep 07, 2007....

  It is like a prison.  I used to see it as a factory, too.  A factory where they churn out good, responsible, corporate citizens.  Like a factory farm, per se.  

• pickersplock said on Sep 07, 2007....

  Zayda, I've been there.  School is no longer what it used to be.  Even kindergarteners have have to learn at a much faster rate than they used to and homework begins much early.  Sometimes in kindergarten.  My oldest son, did work last year in 5th grade, that I didn't see until 7th or 8th.
  It's great for some kids that love to learn and pick up things quickly.
  It's extremely sad, that the expectations are so high now.
  I don't know what to tell you, because we just "got through it", as best we could.
  My sons are really smart too, it's just that they had 3-5 pages of homework every night.  They're boys for pete's sake.  They need to be active!

• Alyss said on Sep 07, 2007....

  Z I'm sorry that your little man isn't enjoying school right now and I hope that his disaffection passes quickly.
  
  As I think you know I'm a primary teacher by profession and I specialised in Early Years, receiving children into their first classes at school (over here they generally start full time in the year they become 5).
  
  Each year there's a pattern of behaviour; some children come in crying from the outset and others come in happily but no matter how they start I can almost guarantee that about 3 weeks into the term the novelty wears off and they don't want to go any more. They're tired, exhausted from switching to full-time school, and resentful of their loss of freedom.
  
  But it passes and before long they have become used to the routine and appreciating the challenges that school offers.
  
  It may be that your son is experiencing something similar.
  

• RollingC said on Sep 07, 2007....

  Gosh, I remember school in the early years as fun and studying a necessary evil. My parents got a tutor for my brother who had an attack of appendicitis and missed school because of the operation (simple enough) and recovery time so I benefited from that also.  That's what made school a breeze and the time but later with all the moving it became a drag.
  The only idea I can come up with is that if there was some way to make him think that it was fun...or turn it into fun....then his attitude would turn around.
  Maybe you can have a " tell me what happened at school today " session and concentrate on details...actually exercising his memory capacity...and later reward with a favorite snack or treat ?
  Have him " teach " you about what he learned at school.
  I don't know but that's maybe a start ?
  Rc
  

• Jenna said on Sep 07, 2007....

  Z....I am sorry to hear this....as a first grade teacher.....I always try to make learning fun.  Is the work too hard for him or does he just not like the fact he has to adjust from his summer schedule? 
   
  When a six year old is not happy in school....I always blame the teacher.  ( Go figure...I am one)  It is her/his  job to make learning fun.  Perhaps you can talk to her/him.  
   
  Good luck sweetie....I know as a mom...it hurts our hearts when our little ones are unhappy.   

• nytquill17 said on Sep 07, 2007....

  If it makes you feel any better, Z, I loved learning with everything I had in me, but I absolutely despised school (i.e. the institution) after kindergarten.  It was really hard for me not to be able to go at my own pace, to always be waiting on the other kids to sit down, shut up, grasp the concept.  It was hard for me just dealing with the other kids most of the time - I was an only child, shy, quiet and used to the company of adults.
  
  I think it's just that, for most people, school isn't fun.  It's work.  And it's annoying, and noisy, and disruptive and doesn't follow at all our natural rhythms or allow for much individuality.  It seems totally normal to me that, especially as he enters his first year of full-day, regular-instruction school instead of the fun and play that is kindergarten, that it's bothering him.  But on the bright side, just because he's not having fun in school doesn't mean he won't enjoy learning or take all advantage of his education :)
  
  I'm not a parent so I'm not really in a position to give advice.  But from my own experience with school, I think it could help a lot if you help him to make the distinction between school and learning.  He needs to understand that "learning" isn't the same as homework and drudgery, that intelligence isn't the same as his grades.  He needs to be supported in his individuality and creativity and all the things that the school system doesn't really have room or time to nurture, so that he doesn't end up feeling like he's losing himself to school.  Most of all, I think just make sure he knows that it's okay not to like school (but that he still has to do his homework!) and that it's okay to tell you so, so that he feels like he can come to you rather than feeling alienated and like he has to face it all himself.
  
  Okay so maybe I'm telling you more about my own life here than I thought :p  I can just imagine how disconcerting this must be, but I think it really IS normal and I think that you are honestly a good mother and those two things together means that it will probably all be fine :)
  

• husbandhater said on Sep 07, 2007....

  Z my Joey is going on 5 and he whines every morning I don't wanna go to school. And his homework consists of writing his name.haha.

  I think it's a phase they go through(Hopefully) and I for one can't wait to see them exit it. Cheer up Z I know as an educator this breaks your heart but you still have more years to go.

• Mamie said on Sep 07, 2007....

  ok, I must be a freak b/c I loved school and always did! I loved learning and I loved socializing! My daughter loves it too, still. I think he'll warm up to it, don't worry. Mamie

• beyondtheveil said on Sep 07, 2007....

  zayda- First grade is a real shocker for a lot of kids- it is all day you know.
  
  I didn't care for it nor did my kids at first. But after a couple weeks we were getting into the groove. I wouldn't expect his attitude to last.
  

• starchini said on Sep 07, 2007....

  I wouldnt worry Zayda.  I hated preschool.  Instead of learning how to spell my name all my preschool papers were signed "pleese stop"...not even joking : )...I hated every second of school and as much as i tried not to learn or pay attention.  They beat it into me and i graduate in the top ten of my class.  I hated everysecond of college too and ended up with four semesters that i passed, they are of no used to me but i have an associates degree in crap.  Then i found my calling.  Your little boy is gonna be fine.   

• mOOn_platOOn said on Sep 08, 2007....

  Did your son go to preschool? Mine was in a really good preschool from the age of two and he blended into school easily. He dislikes some subjects, but the experience is one he thrives on. He's been getting As & Bs for the most part.
   
  I did NOT have preschool and dropped out of kindergarten after two weeks. It was sooooooooooo boring!!
   
  But I adjusted to regular school pretty quickly, with a sense of resignation and the realization that I'd be around more kids my age that way.
   
  Anyway, that's my experience. My son is now in 6th grade and all is well.
   
  Good luck to you - I'll try to think more on the subject...
   
  --- oh yeah, I also had a major crush on my first grade teacher. It was very confusing when her stomach got big and she had to leave.
   

• Zayda said on Sep 08, 2007....

  first, thanks for your responses everyone. i'll try to get to individual responses to everyone eventually, but i just wanted to say thank you to everyone.
  
  moon--yes, my son went to pre-school from age two. he was in kindergarten last year, which was only a half a day. and he is in first grade this year, which is a full day. so, i think part of this is getting used to being in school a full day.
  
  starchini--ultimately i think he will be fine.  as an educator myself, however, it worries me that he dislikes school already.  or maybe it's not that he dislikes it so much as it is that he doesn't think it's fun this year.  he keeps talking about how much fun it was last year, which apparently it isn't this year.  he also talks about how fun his teacher was last year, so i am wondering if he's not really liking his teacher or not warming up to her since he doesn't think she is fun.  although, he is enjoying gym or P.E. classes as well as recess, so there is something he likes about it. :)
  
  beyond--i am hoping that it's just a matter of getting in the groove. he had homework from day one of classes when he was in kindergarten, but they didn't really start homework until last week (three weeks into the school-year) in his first grade class.  since he didn't have homework the first two weeks, i am expecting that he forgot about having homework every day from day one while in kindergarten.
  
  the hubby and i were actually wondering the why he wasn't having homework the first two weeks.  we thought perhaps he was forgetting to bring it home.  fortunately, the neighbors who live directly behind us have a daughter who is in his class, so we happened to ask them one day during the second week if their daughter had done any homework yet.  they said no and that they had been wondering about it as well.  they thought it equally odd that at two weeks into the school year there had been no homework. 
  
  but  the homework did start in week three.  and ironically, it took until week three for the teacher to send home a booklet explaining how she wanted homework completed and returned, the behavior rules for her class, the process for contacting her about concerns or sending notes to her, etc.    we had that from day one last year as well, which makes me wonder if this particular teacher is just terribly disorganized.
  
  mamie--well, i was a freak too; i loved school from the day i started pre-school.  i cannot remember ever disliking school.  actually, i take that back.  i can remember feeling overwhelmed once in the first semester of my Ph.D. program to the point where i wanted to go home, but that soon passed.  i'm trying not to worry too much and hoping that he does warm up to it.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  

• Gypsyheart said on Sep 09, 2007....

  I always liked school too. I didn't always like the people or the subject, but I liked learning.
  
  My nephew is 6 and in the first grade too. Some of the things that have worked with us is to break up the study time. Give him thirty minutes or so to have a snack and tell you about his day when he gets home. If it helps, set a timer. Set the timer again for 30 minutes of home work. In first grade he should finish it all by then, but if he puts it off, make the thirty minutes right after supper the finishing time. Short attention spans at that age often lead to frustration on both your parts.
  
  Show an interest in what he's learning. Ask him every day what he learned, ask him questions about it to see if you can find what subjects he's really interested in.
  
  Also ask leading questions about WHY he hates school, it might be a mean teacher, he might be scared of the work, it might be bullies at school.
  
  Good luck and give it some time. 3 weeks is still early.
  

• Fire_01 said on Sep 10, 2007....

  Zayda.....I hated school with every fibre in my body from day one and I know exactly where your son is coming from! The only thing that prevented me from committing suicide as early as grade 1  was that my mother allowed me to play and wind down for two hours after school and then did my homework with me.

• harriedpsychmajor said on Sep 11, 2007....

  Think of all the reasons why a kid wouldn't like school. Having to sit in the classroom all day with 30 strange kids and a teacher. It just sounds like your son simply isn't used to the new environment. Give it time, and if he's got a good teacher, he'll be okay.
  

• rmuxagirl said on Sep 17, 2007....

  You know Zayda...I loved school.  I actually miss it am going back to college for a second Ba haha....so I guess we're both weird.

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