Some days I just [i]really[/i] don't like myself.
It's not that I think I'm a bad person. I'm actually really nice once you get to know me. I like making people laugh, and I'm a pretty good listener.
The problem is... I have no confidence. Well, not none, but not enough, either. To put it another way, I'm shy. I'm not as shy as I once was; when I was a little kid I'd cry if someone I didn't know even talked to me. I'm at the point where I can smile at strangers on the street, make small talk with the cashier at the grocery store and not physically melt into the walls when I'm in a room full of strangers.
I have a new challenge, though, and it's terribly daunting. I'm just getting started in business, and I'm hoping that it will eventually allow me to work from home so I can be with my baby full-time. I know SoulCast isn't for promoting business, so let me just say this: I'm selling amazing educational toys, books and games through catalogue and party sales. They're just the best. So why am I having such a hard time telling people about this? The party part's not hard- I can stand up in front of a roomful of people and talk, no problem... it's meeting those people that's hard. There are people in this business who can walk up to other parents in the park and tell them about this wonderful stuff, people who know they have a good thing and want to share it. Me? I think I'm terrified of rejection. I know that someone not wanting to see a catalogue or book a party is not a rejection of me [i]personally[/i]... so what's my problem?
I'm such a weenie. Does anyine else have this problem? Not necessarily of being a weenie, but of being shy and having it interfere with work. Any tips on how to get over it? Any advice (other than that I'm in the wrong line of work- I need to get over this one way or another anyway) would be greatly appreciated. And thanks for listening... this is really depressing me, but just talking (writing, whatever) about it helps. You guys are great pals!
cfamommy posted on Jul 26, 2006
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Comments
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silverwhisper said on Jul 26, 2006....
the only advice i can offer is this: the trick to any conversation is to identify common ground. you sell to parents, right? as a parent yourself, you know the kinds of aggravations and problems you face and you can relate. you created these educational toys to address a need, right? once you get them talking, you can steer the conversation towards that need. if you then mention that you've been working on a solution to that problem, they'll be interested, i'm sure. IOW: don't view these meetings as a sale: view 'em as a conversation. ed -
cfamommy said on Jul 26, 2006....
Thanks. I know that I can talk to people, and that I [i]am[/i] addressing a real need. I just feel like I'm sneaky or something if I'm approaching people with an "ulterior motive", even if it's a positive one. Is that silly? -
Zayda said on Jul 26, 2006....
I don't think it's entirely silly that you feel like you are approaching people with an "ulterior motive". I recognize that feeling all too well. My son's current daycare does 3-4 fundraisers every year, one of which is cookie dough sales. And OMG, I hate asking people to buy frozen cookie dough. So, invariably, I always end up buying close to $200.00 worth of cookie dough myself and then give it away to people. For the life of me, I just cannot bring myself to ask my friends and family to buy cookie dough. It's ironic when you think about it, given my profession, because every September, I stand up in front of several classrooms full of 30 students; I do workshops on teaching strategies for New TAs, and at least 3-4 times a year, I have present research at professional conferences. But asking people to buy frozen cookie dough or flowers (one of the other fund raisers is a flower sale) is just something I CANNOT do. (And I have a freezer full of cookie dough to prove it at them moment because I didn't give away enough of it this year.) On another note, I friend of mine is a Arbonne representative. She got into the Arbonne business because she wanted to stay at home full time with her kids. She set up a myspace page dedicated to her Arbonne business and that's one of the ways that she generates interest in parties and sales. -
silverwhisper said on Jul 26, 2006....
as usual, zayda cruises in w/ wisdom and insight. :> ed -
Zayda said on Jul 26, 2006....
Heh...I'll put you on my Christmas list for cookie dough if you don't watch it, Silver. :P -
silverwhisper said on Jul 26, 2006....
[clutches chest] ack! not that! anything but that! for the love of god, montresor! er...OK, sorry... [stops chewing on scenery] :> ed -
cfamommy said on Jul 26, 2006....
I like cookie dough... is it the really yummy one that comes in buckets? Lemme know if they ever do the pizza rolls. Mmmm! -
ZekeWombat said on Jul 26, 2006....
I read once that people actually fear speaking in public more than many other things. Now I came into that information when I wound-up being a basic military instructor. Even in the most controlled conditions you can find yourself speachless and overwhelmed by all the folks waiting to see what your going to do next. I read some of the advice shared with you before I got here. Good stuff. One suggestion give'in to me was envision your onlooker's as cartoon characters or naked. Once you take a few deep breaths and find that place in you mind that comfortable, everything should work out just fine. Heck you may find you have a natural nack for what youd doing and find the experience enjoyable. Think of what you doing as meeting new friends that your sharing an interest with. Nah, your not a "wennie". Your just trying to do something new and with a challenge. That's a brave thing to do. Hang in there. -
Expendable said on Jul 27, 2006....
There's nothing worse for me than to talk to a group of people, all staring at me like that. It's sorta ok if I know them, but strangers? I can barely think, forget about trying to imagine them naked. I just want to curl up and hide sometimes. Of course, the world won't let me. Really hate that. Sometimes I try pretending I'm wearing a mask. They're not looking at me. They're looking at my mask. Sometimes that works. And sometimes it pisses me off, because I know what they're looking at. I don't know if that'll work for you. Some might think that's more than a little crazy. Silver's right - just talk to them. Having a toy for them to see helps. Don't scream and leap on them. Very bad for repeat business. Zayda? Hang some flyers. Let'm sell themselves. -
cfamommy said on Jul 27, 2006....
Oooh.... [i]don't[/u] scream and leap on them... gotcha. -
JadeLondon said on Jul 27, 2006....
As a child, I was somewhat shy and something of a loner. And I hate getting up and speaking in front of people because I feel like I'm either going to trip, say the wrong thing, or drool on myself. And I hate the trembling. But remember this, the majority of people are nervous talking in front of others; so, if your friends and whatnot are decent people, they will understand and empathize. Not only that, if your "parties" are anything like Avon or Pampered Chef get togethers, then I am sure that your guests are aware of exactly what they are going to (in which case, you shouldn't feel bad). Besides, you are working for a noble cause. It is not as if you are scamming for money or trying a pyramid scheme. Buck up--you'll do fine! -
JadeLondon said on Jul 27, 2006....
Hey, guys--how did I accidentally italicize everything? -
silverwhisper said on Jul 27, 2006....
[/i] you didn't. when cfamommy posted in italics, i think she inadvertently forgot to close the italic tag properly. this is weird: even the text as i'm typing my comment is in italics. ed -
Zayda said on Jul 27, 2006....
Your comment didn't post as italicized, Silver. :) -
silverwhisper said on Jul 27, 2006....
i know: i closed the tag. :> ed -
Zayda said on Jul 27, 2006....
Hehehe.. That's one of the things that I do hate about forums like this. If someone forgets to close a tag it throws everything out of whack. Forgetting an italics tag, not so bag. Forgetting to close a quote tag can get ugly. I'm a member of a body mod forum, and in the "Boredom Thread" they had a nested quote fest one day until it literally broke the thread, until a fresh post was started on a new page. Any post on the "broken" page whether a quote or not was all skewampus. -
silverwhisper said on Jul 27, 2006....
i like your use of highly technical language, zayda. "skewampus" is a new one on me. :D ed -
cfamommy said on Jul 27, 2006....
sorry, guys. Anyways, I think I'll probably do OK at the actual parties. It's talking to people I don't know and broaching the subject of [i]having[/i] one (or even looking at a catalogue, my website, etc.) that terrifies me. Any thoughts on that? Hey, look- I think I did it right this time! -
silverwhisper said on Jul 27, 2006....
you did indeed! hey, it's an honest mistake: i'm sure we've all done it. i didn't mean to make it sound like i thought you were inept or anything! re: talking: are you hosting the party? that would make it easy enough to do, i would think, no? ed -
cfamommy said on Jul 27, 2006....
That's really OK- I am, in fact, inept! As for hosting the party- I'll be doing some of my own. Are you saying that I should just pick a date and invite all the parents from the park to my house? Sounds like fun! -
silverwhisper said on Jul 27, 2006....
sure, why not? and of course, you should have a sample or two lying around. you just [i]know[/i] someone is gonna pick it up, after all. :> ed -
Alyss said on Jul 27, 2006....
I am basically a very shy person and hate having to do anything involving strangers. What I do is put on my 'professional facade' and hide behind that. That way what they see is a confident, knowledgeable person and not the introverted, terribly unconfident person that I really am. -
JadeLondon said on Jul 27, 2006....
To silverwhisper (or anyone else who knows): I can't make heads or tails of the stupid formatting rules--which is why I have developed a fondness for quotation marks. To cfamommy: I don't know if you do this or not (you probably do since parents can have a hard time finding a babysitter)--but invite the children, too. And if you do so, you could use them to your advantage. I have a difficult time resisting my son's puppy dog eyes (i.e. Let the kids play with the toys--and if the parents see that they like them, maybe they will buy them.). That would take some of the pressure off of you, I think. -
Expendable said on Jul 27, 2006....
Is it bbcode? putting i & /i in [] for italics? [i]bbcode[/i] -
Expendable said on Jul 27, 2006....
[b]wow[/b] [i]wow[/i] [u]wow[/u] ||{1}|| -
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