• secretlife said on Sep 05, 2007....

  if you figure out the answer, let me know, ok?
   

• genalonewolf said on Sep 05, 2007....

  No I don't think you are bored, but I do think you are tired. Stress and everyday ho-hum can build and start to squeeze off your sexual desires and wants. If I recall right your husband has been home while you went to work? If thats true then he has had the time needed(for him) to recharge and ready for you!
  
  What you need is some good old fashioned pampering. Maybe some time away to relax and gather your thoughts other than whats going on at home and work. Some people can get time off and some can't. But I'll just bet after a good long rest your drive will come back and it will be good again.  Been through this a couple of times and it has seemed to work out pretty well for me in the past.! Good luck HH.
  

• queenparanoia said on Sep 06, 2007....

  yeah you need to relax HH... and maybe tell him what you really feel. maybe things might change.

• polarheart said on Sep 06, 2007....

  HH, with all you've had going on in recent months I am not at all surprised that you feel the way you do.  Tiredness / exhaustion is a major factor here, I think!  I really hope that you try to communicate to him how you are feeling about all of this. . .I also think that you are partly disappointed in him and it has put a dampener on your sexual arousal, because actually you are a bit mad at him (?)  Dunno, just a thought.  Speak out, HH, he needs to know where you are coming from otherwise you will grow to recent his advances and just become more distant.
   
  All the very best! Luv Polar

• JadeDom said on Sep 06, 2007....

  Echoing those above exhaustion does have a huge impact on libido along with stress and changes happening in people's life. So resting would probably help.
   
  Plus there's also the difference in how women and men see sex and what they need out of it, men often forget that foreplay includes romancing and seduction for women, starting way before the bedroom, and that everything doesn't end when intercourse does.
   
  The best solution to almost every relationship trouble is usually to communicate so talk to him about what you need too.

• slirpuff said on Sep 06, 2007....

  Most couples are not on the same playing
  field when it comes to sex.. One will always
  want it more than the other. And it's not always
  the man that wants it more... I couldn't keep up
  with my bride when we 1st got together because
  I was always tired from working too many hours..
  She does remind me of that when she's not in
  the mood however...
  But I am a self professed sex maniac and at
  times, it has  becomes a point of conflict with
  my bride and I. She says I think about it
  24/7 but she's wrong, I have to sleep sometime...
  She is no longer a spring chicken and for
  her once a week is "more" than enough but
  not for me... I would like it 4 times per week...
  I love her dearly and theres nothing I like better
  than having sex with her... love the feeling/closeness.
  However, for a women, it's more than 50% mental
  and I can attest that the constant grabbing does nothing
  but turn her off...
  Communication and compromise are the only solutions
  that I've found... It wouldn't be the same if she just laid
  there and said, "let me know when your done !!!"
  To be honest, I don't think we'll ever totally resolve this issue
  but we both try and that's the point..
  We married and in it for the long haul and can solve any
  issue if we openly talk about it... but I'll be honest dealing
  sex is a tough issue...
  Steve

• exhibit_c said on Sep 07, 2007....

  Ya gotta tell him, "Hey honey, you're turning me off. You're acting like college sophomore."
  
  FWIW, I think women don't care so much for spontenaity after a few years of marriage,
  

• slirpuff said on Sep 07, 2007....

  My bride and I now schedule "SEX NIGHTS"...
  I was against it at first because I like doing it
  when the mood struck but she said scheduling
  it made her hotter and put her more in the mood
  because it was something to look forward to...

• JadeDom said on Sep 07, 2007....

  I think that's rubbish. I think all women care for spontaneity. Just that it's not enough to just straight into trying to have sex. Spontaneously or unexpectedly taken out, or pampered, or having the mood set in any number of other ways is a whole different matter to just having someone trying to get their rocks off.

• vacantmind said on Sep 07, 2007....

  I think you are starving for romance and a little foreplay. Which means you will have to initiate sex. You guide him all the way. No sex until there is a minimum of 30 minutes of foreplay. 15 minutes for each of you.

  Do you know why you feel exhausted? This isn't a normal state of being. Maybe it is time to have the hormones checked. If there has been a drastic change in the past year, really consider having this done. Before I knew what was wrong I didn't have a libido and I could sleep 16 hours a day. Thyroid was off and so was DHEA and Testerone.

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