Here's a dream I had the other night, and it feels like an important one, but I can't quite figure out why. Maybe you have some insights for me?
I was standing outside, alongside a house, and a female friend was there with me, but she was closer to the house. The house seemed to have a sort of atrium or something. There was an earthquake that caused an anticline (a fold in the earth, shaped sort of like an upside down letter U) to form between me and my friend. She advised me to come over to her side of the anticline, because she thought it would be safer. I was actually on the apex (top) of the anticline. But I stayed where I was.
The anticline was still forming... getting bigger and bigger, and the apex was starting to break. At this point, I was watching the scene as if it were happening to someone else. The girl who was in my place started to shout that she was getting buried, and indeed, dirt was falling and filling up over her feet to the point where she couldn't move them. The dirt rose faster and faster until it covered her completely.
I tried to imagine what it would be like to be buried alive, and suddenly, I was there, buried under the earth. I had created a little hollow of space around my face, so I could still breathe, but I couldn't remember how I had done it. I was aware that I had created this situation in my head, and that, in real life, I probably wouldn't have been able to create this air bubble.
Still, the air bubble was very small, and I knew that the oxygen wouldn't last for long. I didn't know if anyone would try to rescue me, but I didn't think they could reach me before I ran out of oxygen. I was breathing in big gulps, thinking it might be better to use up the oxygen quickly rather than drawing out my suffering. I thought this might be a relatively painless way to die, because I'd probably fall asleep as the oxygen ran out. I tried to detect any difference in the oxygen level and my corresponding energy level, but I didn't really notice anything.
Then, I was on the outside, observing again, and I wondered if they were going to start excavating and looking for this girl. I didn't think she was buried so deeply. But it seems that they thought it was a lost cause and didn't really try. I kept trying to get people to look for her and dig her up. I thought they could use a metal detector, but they didn't.
Some time later, I was looking at a calendar, and wondering when she had died. Someone asked me if I'd finally let go and accepted that she was dead. Something inside me told me that I was really jumping the gun, though, and I didn't really want to give up. In a way, I felt like I had betrayed her by saying that she was dead, and I wanted to take it back. I asked how long it had been since she'd been buried, and they said it had been four months. I couldn't believe it had been four months. I thought it had just happened the day before.
I started crying and telling the other person,
"You don't understand. When it's your twin that dies, it's like half of you dies, too."
I went back to the area where she'd been buried, and to my surprise, I thought I heard a scratching sound below the surface. I drew closer to listen. It was definite and persistent. Was she still alive down there, trying to get out? I had to know. I asked someone if they could hear the scratching. They said no. I told them to come closer. There was a lot of background noise that might make it difficult to hear her. She seemed reluctant to come... like she didn't believe me and couldn't be bothered.
I yelled at her, insisting that she come and put her ear right up to the ground. I was angry and giving her no options. (I was also afraid I might be imagining it and desperately needed confirmation). She came closer and finally heard it. I got really excited.
Then, water started springing up from the spot, and I was reminded of Virgin Spring (the movie). I took this as a sign that she was still alive, and started clawing at the wet sand with my fingers.
Just some background for those of you who don't know me. I don't have a twin in real life, and the only significant deaths I've experienced are those of my cats, although this may more likely be more about the death of a part of myself rather than another person... something that I feel will complete me, but I haven't gotten any further than that. Any insights?
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kruuyai posted on Sep 05, 2007
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Comments
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beyondtheveil said on Sep 05, 2007....
Ok, kruugirl, I've read this three times and what keeps talking to me is that there is an upheaval (the anticline) inside you that either part of you is trying to tell you something, or possibly deep or repressed memories are trying to surface.
You keep trying to bury them, but at the same time, part of you wants to retrieve them.
This is just a first impression- I'll keep thinking on it.
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polarheart said on Sep 05, 2007....
A very interesting dream, Kruu. It says a lot of things to me, but only you will know if they are true or not. I think you and the girl that had been buried are one and the same person. I think you have been in situations where afterwards you felt that you have let yourself down and grown distant to your original self. I think the essence of this dream is you trying to get back to the real you and the hope and desire that the real /old you still exists. -
kruuyai said on Sep 05, 2007....
beyond: Oh, that's good. That's very good. I'm going to have to think on what kind an an upheaval I could have going on... or which upheaval is more important than all the others. I've had a lot of minor upheavals lately, but this dream seems to be talking about something more deep rooted and significant than just the passing dramas of everyday life. I will ponder this and post more if I think of anything.
polar: Yes, I had the same feeling that the buried girl and I were one and the same. You may be right about trying to get back to the real me. I think that's something that most of us need to do. I wonder how we go about doing that? And I wonder if the water is significant? If it has anything to do with me being a water sign (Scorpio?) or maybe water as the source of life? I have a feeling that I'm going to unearth something big with this dream.
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evil_twin said on Sep 05, 2007....
An earthquake is a symbol of a major shake up in your life. Something that threatens your stability. And it highlights all your insecurities and fears and a sense of helplessness. Being buried under something means you're feeling stifled in some area of your life. To dream of having a twin (if you don't really have one) means that your at opposition with yourself. You can't make up your mind about something. And wet sand means you're lacking a sense of balance in your life.
Does any of that make sense to you? I'm just going off of the symbolism of the dream. Maybe that will help you piece together what it might mean a little better.
-evil_twin LA
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polarheart said on Sep 05, 2007....
Kruu, usually in spiritual interpretation water speaks of blessing and the source of life. There is a lot of water imagery in the Bible. . .at one point it talks about springs of living water coming up in the desert. I think the point where you started really digging and getting closer to the buried you. . .that's when LIFE started coming back to you. How do you feel about this? -
kruuyai said on Sep 05, 2007....
polar: Hmmm.... it's hard to come up with anything immediately, but I feel like we're really on the right track with this. I'm not sure exactly what it is that will make me feel like I've come back alive, but I'll have to admit that I think a large part of me has been dead for a long time. Maybe re-entering the world of work will help me get in touch with a bit more of reality. That won't do all of it, but I've been cocooned in my own little world for five years, and it's time to start participating a bit more in life.
I think that one of the elements that has died in me is hope. Starting almost a year ago, I really lost the will to live, I think because I lost hope that I could really function or experience any kind of joy in this life. I've done some blogging about that, but I really need to start looking at what that's all about and how I can change it. It's good to have friends like you who can help me to look at these things. Thank you!
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evil_twin said on Sep 05, 2007....
Spring water symbolizes your expressiveness and emotional energy. In fact, any sort of water in a dream is a direct relation to your emotional state. If it's muddy, your confused. If the water is churning, you're experiencing emotional upheaval, etc.
-evil_twin LA
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kruuyai said on Sep 05, 2007....
e_t: What if it's crystal clear? That would seem to imply that my emotional state has no upheaval, but how does that jive with the earthquake? Oh, this is so confusing! -
gingersoul said on Sep 05, 2007....
Oh, no dreaming about me this time?
*ginger is making a sad, sad face*
I gotta go now but i will be back....
Geez, girl, what did you eat for dinner?.....lol...
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evil_twin said on Sep 05, 2007....
Well at the end of this dream, you were left feeling hopeful that your 'twin' was still alive. The clear water would suggest that by the end of the dream, you were at peace with yourself. That's my take on it. Sometimes we go to sleep with a problem, and the dream actually works the problem out. You started out in a bad place with an earthquake and being buried and losing your twin (or part of yourself). But in the end you were left with hope :-)
-evil_twin LA
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kruuyai said on Sep 05, 2007....
ginger: lol.... I'm sure that, if I dug through my dream journal, I could find some more dreams about you that I haven't put up here yet! :) I don't remember what I had for dinner on Saturday, but I had a huge beer with my new flatmate before I went to bed. Would that do it? It could have something to do with the conversation that I had with her, too, but something tells me that it's not related. -
silverwhisper said on Sep 05, 2007....
kruu, it would seem to me that you appear to be very concerned about losing yourself, which given the upheaval in your life lately, this would make a certain amount of sense, IMHO. perhaps it's crow's nest-related?
ed -
kruuyai said on Sep 05, 2007....
ed: I don't know. That seems like it's too superficial of a concern for this dream. I think this one is reaching a lot deeper. -
kruuyai said on Sep 05, 2007....
e_t: Sorry, I missed your comment. We must have been commenting at the same time. It does seem that I was left with hope. I wish I could have gotten a little bit further along in this dream. I wonder if there's a significance to the four months? Let's see. I've been in Prague for 2 months now. It'll be interesting to see if I suddenly "find myself" in another couple of months. -
gingersoul said on Sep 05, 2007....
I am back....:-)
I re-read your beautiful dream..you are right..its too powerful to have a superficial reading..
For what i perceive....the house is a symbol of stability, affects, routine, family, roots.
The earthquake destroys the balance. Earthquake can be the symbol of anything that had cut you deeply and, in a way or another, had disrupted your continuity, your equilibrium.
(You have changed home recently. Again. You thought you had found some stability and routine in living with the pirates and now you are tossed again in a new situation)
After the earthquake forces you to choose which way to go, which side of yourself to accept you are torn because in a way you would like your old you to be buried by the dirt. Because that half of you carries all the questions you still have to answer. Sometimes is exhausting analyze ourself constantly, never relax, never let go..
In your dream she(you) had called you to go closer and you didnt. You chose. You left the house in the moment of the need. You let yourself die almost...soffocating in the reality created by any new situations. You feel guilty.
But you know that you have to comeback to your true self, the one that has been buried inside yourself and is calling you.
The peopel you ask for help dont help you. They tell you to get over it, they dont want (or can not) help you in your renewed emotional, spiritual, self research. They are the symbols of all the friends, lovers, family that betrayed you. That held you back. You need to com e bacl though and so you start to dig.
Digging is the metaphor for analyzing, blogging, writing, talking about yourself...
And when you realize that you indeed are getting closer and closer to your true self, your balance.....water springs out. Water by always a symbol of energy, life, sexual power, purification.
I think you know that if you will keep digging the two halves of yourself will finally became one again. The Oneness of your spirit and beauty will be restored and a new home built..
i wish you so, my friend. {hug}
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kruuyai said on Sep 05, 2007....
ginger: Wow, you have an amazing ability to dig into these things. And it shows that you have really been paying attention to me. I appreciate that. Yes, the move felt like an earthquake... at least in the sense that it did disrupt the stability and happiness that I had found there. Although, as I mentioned to ed, I think this goes deeper than just a mere move or parting with the pirates. I wonder if the peace I found while I was living with the pirates meant much more to me than just that. Seems like I've been searching for so long. Maybe a part of me felt that I'd found what I was searching for.
I have to look more closely into the part about choosing not go closer to safety... choosing to allow myself to die (or to allow a part of myself to die).
Coming back to my true self... the one that has been buried inside myself and is calling me... Hmmm, I wonder if this could have anything to do with some of the issues that I mentioned in Another Door Opens? Something I've thought about for most of my adult life, but never had a real opportunity, and now, in a way that seems to erase all the objections, the opportunity seems to be presenting itself, and when I think about it... it feels very natural.
Nobody helps me.. I have to do it myself. They all have given her up for dead, but in fact, it is I who had given this part up for dead. Not just the orientation issue, but the whole of my sexuality in general. It's only recently that it's seemed to be revived. It would be nice to be able to put this puzzle together. It looks like I'm getting closer. Thank you so much for your insights. {{{{{hug}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
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travelr712 said on Sep 05, 2007....
ginger has most of it right, i think, but something she didn't mention. you know it's you that was buried, because you move from yourself on the surface to yourself under the ground. the you under the ground is still alive, conscious, aware, and expecting a rescue, but is sensing time is running out. if she is not rescued soon, she will suffocate. then you are back on the surface, realizing that time is slipping away quickly, and become desperate to resurrect your former self. you can't believe how much time has passed since the great upheaval that caused her to be buried in the first place.
it seems this girl has been buried so long that no one around you even knows that girl, knows she ever existed. they don't recognize her, and don't know what happened to bury her. this event happened to you alone.
it sounds to me like you got involved in a relationship that didn't go very well, and you had to bury your feelings and thoughts and ideas in order to make the relationship work, and now that relationship is over, and you're looking for that part of you that you buried. but here's the really cool thing. the dream woke you up to the fact that she's still there, and she's still alive, and she's still waiting to be brought out, and you've started doing that, as evidenced by the 'water of life' springing up at the end of the dream. -
Mamie said on Sep 05, 2007....
Oh Kruu, these interpretations are good! I had no idea, Ginger, you are good at this!!
And Trav adds on some mighty good clarification. I looked up the symbolism in a dream book that I have and Evil Twin is right on the money too. The only other thing that I found is that water can symbolize a cleansing, allowing a fresh start (if it is a spring) and a spiritual rebirth. Good luck!! -
gingersoul said on Sep 05, 2007....
Kruu....i do pay attention to you, silly......lol....
I didnt associate the earthquake only to this recent move...it would be too superficial.... your life is in constant movement...countries after countries...you have to adjust to mini earthquakes anytime a person or a place changes....
You mentioned few times you didn't have a happy childhood, you feel like the neglected middle child and at school you were the one easily being picked up...
you are running, Kruu, you are spending your life running away from something....but the water will wash everything away...
Thank you.
And thanks to Traveler and Mamie too....i have been reading about this stuff by years now and i studied Jung in college...
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kruuyai said on Sep 06, 2007....
travelr: You have some great insights. I didn't realize you were into dream interpretation. About time running out... I hadn't considered that aspect before, but I think it's an important one. And I think it's about life in general. I believe that my life is more than half over now, and I've still not found what I'm looking for here (the problem being that I'm not sure what I'm looking for). A relationship that didn't go very well? Hah! A hundred or so relationships that didn't go very well. But collectively, they've been a huge energy drain and have taken my attention away from my real purpose on this planet (anybody's real purpose), and that is preparation for my death (in a spiritual sense). As I commented on someone else's dream post recently... houses or buildings represent our souls or selves, and higher floors represent higher spiritual levels. Here, I'm not even in the house, but getting buried under the earth. There's a part of my self that has sunk to a spiritual low, but I know how to get out. I just haven't done it. I've had dreams before with a similar message (presented in a totally different manner, of course). It's still not too late, the dream is saying... but time is running out. I guess the former self I'm trying to resurrect would be the self that I was born with. Things started going south pretty quickly after that. -
kruuyai said on Sep 06, 2007....
Mamie: Spiritual rebirth does seem to be a theme here. Also, as I was lying down to go to sleep last night, the phrase, "Hope springs eternal" popped into my head. That kind of goes along with the water bubbling or springing out of the ground and the sense of hope at the end of the dream.
ginger: I know you do, but it always kind of takes me by surprise when anybody remembers anything about me. I'm not used to it. lol It's true, my whole life has been like an earthquake with lots of aftershocks. Running from something? That's been suggested to me before. If I am, I guess it would be my family of origin stuff. Water will wash everything away. If the water, in part, represents spiritual growth, then it will surely wash away the hold that my earthly concerns have on me, including the earthly situations that contributed to my current persona. I am not a product of those things. My essence is purer than that. But my current incarnation has a hard time seeing that, and is operating from within the illusion. I can continue to make those things important and allow them to rule my life, or I can diminish them to the illusions that they are and get on with the real business of life.
I've read some Jung too, but would like to read more. He's hard to find in used book stores. Freud seems more popular, but I find that Freud is more or less a fraud. lol
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kruuyai said on Sep 06, 2007....
I read one book on dream interpretation that seemed to place a heavy emphasis on fusing or balancing the masculine and feminine sides of ourselves, since our souls are neither masculine or feminine, but most of us, in life, identify pretty strongly with one or the other. The idea was that most people run into a crisis related to their gender identification (not regarding their sexuality so much as the need to explore the other half of their spiritual self). So, for example, a guy who was really macho all his life might have dreams urging him to let his feminine side flourish (not to become effeminate, just to allow more feminine qualities into his life, like nurturing, etc.) Not surprising, this happens naturally for most people. As men age, they tend to mellow out and take on more feminine qualities, and as women age, they tend to harden and take on more masculine qualities. I imagine part of this has to do with hormone balances (and I am going through the beginning stages of menopause), and a part of it has to do with the need for spiritual balance. Since I've been confronting ideas about gender identification lately, it all makes sense. -
destinydiva said on Sep 06, 2007....
I have no extras to add, I think it has all been said, and so well, I'm calling ya all to interpret some of my crazy dreams!! :-) that was really fascinating to read, the post and comments :-) xx -
kruuyai said on Sep 06, 2007....
destiny: Thanks, I've been enjoying it, too. It's always a huge learning experience when I post a dream here and let people have a go at it. Have you got any dreams posted? How about some links? -
destinydiva said on Sep 06, 2007....
I havn't any dreams on here yet, I defo will next time I have a crazy one though, the interpretating was amazing. :-)
xx
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lfbno7 said on Sep 06, 2007....
I like what Traveler wrote a lot.
"you know it's you that was buried, because you move from yourself on the surface to yourself under the ground. the you under the ground is still alive, conscious, aware, and expecting a rescue, but is sensing time is running out. if she is not rescued soon, she will suffocate. then you are back on the surface, realizing that time is slipping away quickly, and become desperate to resurrect your former self. you can't believe how much time has passed since the great upheaval that caused her to be buried in the first place.
it seems this girl has been buried so long that no one around you even knows that girl, knows she ever existed. they don't recognize her, and don't know what happened to bury her."
My first impressions of your dream were similar. It is you that is buried, not a twin, for the reasons above. You are most definitely alive down there, and you will remain so. Your life is not in danger, though you are buried. You magically made an air pocket for yourself though you don't know how you did it. I'll tell you how you did it. You did it by magic, and you just fucking did it, and you are safe forever. What is in danger is what direction your life will take. You're fucking buried, in other words.
You need to dig yourself out. The fact that there are two of you symbolizes to me that your life is not threatened in the least. It's not about death. It's about being buried. You're in a hole and you need to dig yourself out, and your friends aren't helping. That's you down there.
I'd like to have a fun dream. Can't remember ever having one. The word "dream" makes you think of something happy, as in "hopes and dreams". Just who is it, having the fun dreams? It ain't me babe. I'm always getting lost in transit, trying to find the train that will get me where I need to be, or I'm walking around city streets or public buildings trying to find a bathroom or trying to get somewhere, and the place can be dangerous, and I better be ready for it.
What kind of stupid dream is it if you wake up from it and to finish it off you are clobbering someone.
I think I see life as a chore, as a series of challenges to be dealt with, like the deadlines at work and the constant problems to solve for people. I don't think of life as a joy. I think of it as a hassle, a job. For real. Isn't that sad? Like at the end of a day I think good, got through one more fuckin day. I think I never got over the trauma of having to make my way in the world. Rather continue to be the baby of the family, being wheeled around in a shopping cart in a supermarket.
I'm the only person I know of who gets emotional in supermarkets. I really didn't want to grow up and take care of everyone else. I'm very good at it. I am a star at getting the bills paid, and that is not easy to do. I'm good at keeping the family safe and warm, making everything okay. But I don't like that role. Good at it, cause failure makes me nervous as hell. You're safe with me. But I'd rather be safe with you instead.
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travelr712 said on Sep 06, 2007....
kruu - it wasn't necessarily a romantic relationship that caused this rift. it was something that caused you to unwillingly leave part of yourself behind. you even knew it was happening, because your buried self told you to stay on her side as it was safer. you pursued the relationship willingly, and left your other self behind unwillingly. i'm curious, how old was the girl that was buried? -
Me-Myself&I said on Sep 06, 2007....
Dreams ....i have several books on dreams. So, i got them out and reseached
the key words and happenings. Here is what my books said;
First to dream of an earthquake is rare, if you don't live in an area of quakes.
anyway...missed opportunity, time really does heal all things, complete
change of circumstances or environment, eventually reap a rich reward
through diligince and perserverance.
buried alive...it is telling you to avoid doing anything which you know or
suspect to be even marginally unethical.
another meaning.....invited to a wedding, or hear of a birth.
take care and see ya
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destinydiva said on Sep 06, 2007....
mr7 you crack me up! :-) -
the_infernal_optimist said on Sep 06, 2007....
Oooh, I think Travelr is really on to something there. It sounded to me like both of your selves are still very much alive, and the water coming from the ground was indeed a sign of hope, that the buried half is not gone for good.
(I don't do dream interpretation though and have no skills there)
That is strange that we dreamed similarly-themed dreams, even if the details were much different (yours was much more disturbing!). ((hugs))
~Infernal
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kruuyai said on Sep 06, 2007....
7: Isn't it interesting, too, that the me on the surface is running around in a panic, trying to get everyone to rescue the me underground, (trying to get everyone else to do it), while the me underground is pretty much accepting her death and just kind of viewing the process with curiosity. What's your take on that? I agree that the death is probably more figurative than literal.
You're also right in that I'm really not clear what direction my life will take, but it's not like I've been presented with clear choices or anything. It feels like all options are pretty much open to me, and it's only my own inertia (and there's plenty of that) that's holding me back from doing anything. I wish I could figure out just exactly what all this dirt is that's covering me up.
I've had fun dreams. I've even woken up laughing once or twice. I don't have them a lot, probably because I don't experience life as joyous either. I never particularly thought of it as a chore, but now that you mention it... to me, it's just been something to get through, always expecting more from it and never getting it. I wish I could be more like those people who are just content with whatever conditions life sets up for them. You must have some happy moments, though? What about when you're listening to all that great music that you posted for us?
I'm curious about this supermarket thing, since I have a supermarket phobia myself. What do you get emotional about in supermarkets, and what emotions do they inspire for you? For me, it's just anxiety, panic, suffocation.... oh! hey! That's what my dream is trying to tell me! Stay out of supermarkets! God, I'm glad we worked this all out. :)
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kruuyai said on Sep 06, 2007....
travelr: I think the relationship you're referring to is probably the relationship with my parents. That little girl got buried so many different times in so many different ways. In the dream, she seems like an adult, like me at my current age. But trauma and neglect were just a part of growing up for me. And I haven't had any contact with my father for 10 years, and my contact with my mother has been minimal... mostly just occasional emails. I have been consciously aware lately, that they're probably not going to be around much longer. They're both approaching the ages at which my grandparents died. And I haven't resolved any of my issues with them. And I don't particularly feel inclined to do that. There was never any love there on either side. But, I'm also aware that this rift in my life affects how I relate to the world at large. I don't know if it's necessary to do the healing directly with them, but I guess it will be necessary at some point to do the healing around them and the issues they handed me. So, that may be part of the feeling that time is running out, but I've often thought that it might be easier to heal around these issues after they're gone.... or does that just sound like procrastination?
MM&I: There wasn't much in there that rang a bell for me other than the change in circumstances or environment. I had this dream right after I moved into a new apartment.
destiny: Do post some of your dreams. It'll be fun and enlightening.
infernal: Interestingly, I've been feeling rather hopeful about my life the last couple of days. :)
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biglove said on Sep 06, 2007....
Hi kruuyai~ very interesting dream. I have been reading through what others have come up with and that all makes sense to me too, but something that stands out for me in this dream is that you wanted to know (imagined) what it would be like to be buried alive and then you were....that actually said a lot to me. Maybe you desire to be "in the dark", so to speak, about something, or memories. Maybe you desire to be unaware of so many things, maybe you need to bury something you hold tightly too, something that is holding you back from moving forward.Also, the other girl wanted you to come over to her side, where it was safe....a change of position or status maybe.Water usually represents emotions and love, I'm still thinking about the water in your dream....I'll come back to that.Letting go of the past, especially when you are not aware that there are things you need to let go of, is a very difficult process...I know from personal experience.Thanks for sharing ;-)) -
kruuyai said on Sep 06, 2007....
biglove: Thanks for picking up on that detail. It could be very important. It reminds me a bit of the way that Milan Kundera describes vertigo in The Unbearable Lightness of Being. He says it's like a desire to fall... to feel the pull of gravity and give in to it. Of course, he's speaking figuratively... the pull of gravity can be an attraction toward an emotional, mental or spiritual demise. I need to think about this some more. And it is interesting that I chose not to go over to where it was safe... but as I recall in the dream, I didn't share her opinion that it would be safer over there. Maybe hers was a conventional kind of safety. And I live a very unconventional life, so I was perhaps interpreting safety in a different way. I'll be looking forward to any other insights that you have to offer. This has been a fascinating experience for me, and I have a feeling it's just the beginning of an enormous amount of work that I have ahead of me. -
lfbno7 said on Sep 06, 2007....
I really think the supermarket thing is just that I loved being wheeled around in those shopping carts when I was little enough to fit in them. I do think I may be the only person around who gets emotional in supermarkets, maybe because they connect me to my parents loving the hell out of me as a baby.
Isn't love great?
You get upset in supermarkets? Never heard that one before. And yes, I have lots of happy moments, and in fact I take it pretty easy and like to laugh and make others laugh.
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kruuyai said on Sep 06, 2007....
7: Aha... so it's a positive experience for you. Not me. I just get tense and irritable and can't wait to get out of there. I can't stand the crowds and all the Whitney Houston music... lol.. I actually used to hire someone to do my grocery shopping for me (she loved shopping; I hated it; it made sense).
"Isn't (parental) love great?" I wouldn't know.
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travelr712 said on Sep 06, 2007....
yours and my parental situation are very similar. they have my brother and sister, and that's enough for them. they dis-invited me to christmas and thanksgiving 4 years ago. i intentionally will not see or speak to my father again unless i absolutely have to, but i will go to his funeral. unfortunately, that means that i can't talk to my mother until he's gone. so i know how you feel. i've dealt with those issues already, and am very comfortable with my life in that area now. i hope you have the same fortune about your parents. -
lfbno7 said on Sep 06, 2007....
The strongest thing in my life was the whole parent-baby thing. When I was a baby I was absolutely surrounded with love, and never punished. So I had as happy a childhood as anyone. And when I had kids, I treated them as I was treated, with lots of love and humor and attention. I used to think that parenting was what I was best at, but I don't think so anymore. I think my two older kids would have benefited from a stricter father. I didn't spoil them but I didn't ever punish them or pressure them, and maybe they needed that.
What happened to you? You didn't get any parental love.
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kruuyai said on Sep 06, 2007....
travelr: Hmmm, I've always wondered what I would say if my mother called to tell me that my father had died. I can't decide between "Now, you are free," and "Will there be a dance band at the funeral?" Nah, best not give her my phone number.
7: What happened to me? I didn't get any parental love. None. Incredible as it may seem, a mother's love is not a guarantee. Nor a father's. And, of course, there was the abuse. I've blogged a little bit about what growing up in my house was like.. My Sister in Flight... and The Longest Silence.
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kruuyai said on Mar 07, 2008....
I was reading through this again, and what MM&I said about 'missed opportunity' suddenly rang a bell. My whole life has been a missed opportunity. And further above, I had said that I wondered if I would find my missing half in a couple of months... and a couple of months later, in November, is when I started the acting classes that have been a huge focus of my life ever since... not only because of acting, but because of being part of a creative community and finally getting serious about doing some of the creative work that I feel I was meant to accomplish here... writing, and some other projects. That's still a pretty superficial interpretation, but I think that dreams speak to us on many levels. The spiritual side of the dream is still a deeply buried mystery to me. I wonder what it would be like to dig it up?
Comment on "Hoping for My Other Half to Come Back to Life"
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