today, my life will never be the same again.
today i went to a prayer meeting. yeah i know some people out there are probably raising their eyebrows right now. if you dont have anything nice to say then just stop reading this.
you see there's a monthly catholic prayer meeting held in here and the preacher is brother bo sanchez. i know some filipino here knows about bo sanchez. he is a best selling author here in the philippines and the editor in chief of one of the most popular magazines entitled kyregma. he's not your typical preacher. he's not like some preachers who wear fancy colorful clothes and hold the bible and shouts at everybody. actually he's a very funny man yet he has a lot of sense. most of his teachings are based on his personal experience.
anyway today me and my friend went to this prayer meeting.
as you all know i'm in a point in my life where i dont know what i am gonna do with it. it seems like i'm just dragging myself to school just so there's something to do. i'm even considering quitting school. for a long time i'm asking God what is life all about? i dont have any direction in life. i'm frustrated and insecure. did i mention once i consider suicide a long time ago? i was so depressed when my friend died. for a long time i was lost.
but today something he said click.
he said there are four blocks in life in receiving the blessing from God.
first of all we never ask for it. me especially. sometimes i'm upset if i dont get what i want or if nothing goes my way. like one time i badly want to have a new cellphone since mine was stolen. did i pray for it? did i asked God that he give me a new one? instead i prayed that i hope the one who stole my phone will have a bad karma. i know it's bad. after a while i was getting upset because i still dont have a phone. i asked my mother about this but i know we are not that rich that she could not instantly buy me a new phone. so i prayed to God that i want to have a new cellphone. whatever kind it would be. just as long as i could communicate because i needed it since school is starting. and you know what i got? a better phone. a more expensive phone that i really like very much! so you see if you ask God for blessings. dont asked for bad ones. asked Him what you really want. dont be ashamed to ask. because he answers.
the second block in receiving God's blessing is that we dont know what we want. yeah i'm too blind to see what i really want in life. i'm not too specific in what i want. brother bo sanchez said that when he was young he never imagined that he would be a best selling author because he has low grades in literature. but he really want to write so he made a list of all his goals. and one of them is to be a writer. today, he has seven best selling books in the philippines and he is the editor in chief of the second best selling magazine in the philippines the kyregma. as he said that i made a quick assess of what i want in life. what i really desire. i have not said this to the people here because i know some people will just laugh at me so i'm saying this to soulcast. first of all i want to build a cosmetic empire. not just a company but an empire. it's just me. i love make up and beauty products. and i have so many ideas to improve them. next i want to be a writer. a romantic novelist actually. so you see i do have goals. i'm just to blind to see that this is what i really want. i guess i'm more focus on what would other people think than what i really want.
the third block is that sometimes we think we dont deserve the blessings we got from God. we question why me? why does God gave me this so many blessings and talents? i dont want this because i know some people will feel insecure aroud me if i have these blessings. so i stayed small. i locked myself in a bubble. i let myself go. which is so wrong. because i know God gave me this blessings and talent so that i could share it and not locked it in a bubble. so today i learned to appreciate all the blessings that i receive and will receive in the future.
the fourth and last block and which really click inside me is that. we feel like God is a powerful almighty one that would punish us if we sin. be angry if we sin. when i was in high school i was part of a prayer meeting in our town church. at first i like it because in there i truly see that God do exist. after a while i didnt attend the meeting anymore. why? because the people there made me feel guilty. they told me i was a sinner and i must repent my sins or i will burn in hell. that God will be angry at me. i stop going there because i realize that if God was really angry at all the people. why did Jesus Christ died in the cross? why does God still helps me in my darkest moment? why did God save me when i wanted to kill myself? does God hate? the answer is no. God is love. easy answer right? yeah. its so simple that we are too blind to see it sometimes. we dont stop and really see what God wants from us. our love. after that my perception of God change. no longer associated with hate and fear. instead with love and forgiveness. my personal realtionshp with him strenghten. although i admit i had my doubts. especially on the hardest times on my life. but i believe that your faith is your own relationship with God. there may be good times and bad times. but God is and will always love you.
after this lessons did i change? my peception in life did. i realize i complained too much. see some of my posts. i never really just sat down and just be thankful for the blessings i got. now i am.
so yeah the queen of paranoia may changed. but i think some of me stayed the same. i'm still the nice girl here( well sometimes... hehehehehe). just a different outlook in life... =)
if youre reading this congrats! this post is long but you made it through! i hope you learn something. and i hope you learn something about me too. this is bo sanchez website.
always remember that God loves you. and you deserve the blessings that you have...
keep on blogging and God Bless!!! =)
